My world in 3 feet or less

A little while ago I posted something about losing body freedom when you are sick. The worst of it is the 3 foot circumference that make up your entire world. If it is within that space, great. If it is not, it is lost to you until someone helps you.

That’s a tough pill to swallow if you are an independent woman. Through the pain and haze of surgery, you are helpless. Totally helpless. You whole existence depends upon people who will feed you, water you, change you, help you go to the bathrrom. How degrading.

After a few days you feel a little better, but you are still a prisoner in your own bed. You cannot bend, you cannot move your leg, you flop around like a fish in a drained pond. If you are cold, you stay cold. If you are hot, you stay hot. If you drop your TV remote, you watch the same channel. If you lose your bed remote, you stay in one position. And if you lose your call button, you stay this way for all eternity.

Nursing homes/rehab facilities are great. You go there to get better. And you do. However most of them are understaffed, and if you need immediate attention, you must learn patience. Sometimes it’s hard to do, if it’s an “emergency”. Other times you can wait for a half hour, no big deal. But being left on a commode for a half hour is not fun, nor is waiting for blanket or whatever. So you learn to write lists, and when you do see a nurse, you get all your needs taken care of at once. Nothing worse than pushing that call button right away again!

I am now a bit past the 3 foot phase. I am able, with help, to get out of bed and into a wheelchair. Feels like heaven. Still have a long way to go. But I’m getting there.

BUT. If this infection doesn’t go away with one round, and I have to do this all over again, all bets are off!

This is me

Hey folks, I am one of the authors in What a Woman is Worth #WAWIW and an excerpt from my story was the featured graphic yesterday! Woo Hoo!

Currently I am laid up in a rehab hospital with no hip for 8 weeks, so it’s been hard for me to keep up and promote the book etc. I hope you take the time to go the website and at least check it out.

Thanks so much!

http://tamaralunardo.com/free-what-a-woman-is-worth-graphic-featuring-janet-heath/#comments

Don’t take your body freedom for granted – Take Two

Remembering when I posted this a few weeks back, I knew never to take things for granted again.  Boy I sure wish I could go back in time……truly worse than I imagined.  But it is what it is…..

Body freedom. What do I mean by that?

In less than two weeks, I will again be hooked up to machines, IV’s, walkers, canes etc. This time for the long haul. This will be a six month process, start to finish.

I remember last year, when I was FINALLY able to walk without my walker after about 4 months. I could get up and go to the bathroom! I could carry coffee without spilling! I felt so free!

Then when my leg wounds finally healed after months of months of surgeries, and bleed outs and changing bandages constantly, wrapping leg in waterproof plastic/bandages too take a shower. I felt so free!

Then my PICC line finally went, and no more 3x daily infusions with all the Vanco balls and flushing lines and blood tests and wrapping the arm in waterproof plastic/bandages that still managed to get wet because how do you bandage your own upper arm properly? Finally. I felt so free!

I have been grateful EVERY DAY since then for those small freedoms. It may not sound like much, but when you are tethered like that for months and months, it is so wonderful. Simply wonderful.

Now, I have another six months of this same stuff ahead of me. Only worse.

Only worse. God help me. I may lose my mind this time, along with my body.

I can’t wait to truly be body free!

What do YOU use your candle holder for?

candlefull

This is my bedside candle. It is a large tropical fish candle holder, with everything but a candle inside. I don’t burn this particular candle, so I thought, what better place to store all my beside junk so it looks more tidy? Let’s take a look at what I keep in my candle….

candleholderfullllll

 

Starting from the left, first there is the TV remote.  Then the Roku remote.  Then the tower fan remote.  Then the air conditioner remote.  Then the nasal spray in case you get a little stuffy.  Behind that the pain killers in case you need it.  And last but not least, a pad of paper and a pen so you write down those dreams or ideas before they disappear in the daylight.

I used to keep all this stuff in a kitty bed on top of my bed, but now I have moved all kitty beds to the other side of my bed on the nightstand.  So the cats sleep in the kitty condo on the nightstand next to me.  It’s there because otherwise I was always kicking it off the bed, lol.

Do you have a special use for your containers?  Where do you keep all your bedtime junk?  Inquiring minds want to know!

Top Ten Things I Can’t Live Without

Maslows

Or as I like to call it, Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs.  Let’s assume I already have the basics, and can move along to the good stuff.

The reason this all came up is because I lost my Kindle this afternoon for about 10 minutes, and the sense of panic I felt was overwhelming.  I am so used to “ebooks” now that a paper book just won’t do.  Plus I’ve read all my paper books.

I feel naked without all my electronics.  Those of you who know me well know I always keep my cell phone close to my heart in my bra.  My tablet with my Kindle loaded on it doesn’t fit in my purse, so I have a slip-on leather case WITH a soft touch keyboard for it, so I am always connected.  Because my laptop is too big to carry around.  I went for large screen as opposed to portability.

So I guess electronics would rate high on my list.  So here goes:

1.   My pets

2.   Cell phone

3.   Tablet

4.   Laptop

5.   TV/cable (Walking Dead, Games of Thrones….come on!)

6.   Bidet  (Because I’m high class that way)

7.   King Size Air Bed  (Because I’m spoiled that way.  Actually because of my bad hip)

8.   4 wheel drive SUV  (Because I live in the Midwest, duh!)

9.   4 wheel drive ATV  (Because I live on a LAKE in the Midwest, duh!)

10.  Toothbrush.  (Because I can’t stand dirty teeth!)

So.  What are YOUR top ten?  Tell me, inquiring minds want to know!

 

My take on the Oscars

Jlaw

Ok. let’s start at the beginning.  Jennifer Lawrence ( J Law) tripped AGAIN.  But she did it early in the day, getting out of her limo, so she started things off right.

The red carpet was its usual glam fest, asking people who are they wearing.  There were definitely some hits and misses, but I am not a fashion queen.  I think everybody looked wonderful.  I thought Kate Hudson looked stunning, and also Lupita Nyong’o (more on them later).

So, just a few comments on what stood out to me.

Ellen, you did a good job, as we knew you would.  Couple of jokes in the intro fell flat (“Sir” Liza Minelli), but for the most part they were well received.  Your interaction with the audience was stellar.  You brought down Twitter with your celebrity picture, so kudos to you!  Most retweeted photo ever!

On to the awards.  Not sure why they start out with one important one, and then fill the majority of time with awards that are not of interest to most of us, leaving the best awards for the end when the show has run out of time and most people want to go to bed.  But all the awards are important I guess.

Best Supporting Actor is the first award, which goes to…..Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club!  He gave a wonderful speech and in my opinion, well, look for yourself…

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One step closer to Jesus!

Kim Novak, wth, why do people insist on plastic surgery?  You are a beautiful woman, age gracefully!  Not with the tell tale marionette lines!

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John Travolta, wtf?  Horrible hair piece, and please, learn the name of the person you are introducing.  One name, that’s all you needed to know.

Kate Hudson looked so awesome when she came out to present.  I wish she would give Goldie some tips on how to do her hair and makeup.  She looked like an aging prom queen.  But then again, don’t we all?  Sigh.

So many great actors, so many great movies this year.  Truthfully, I was torn on who should win.  I would have been happy with any of them.

In the beginning it looked like Gravity was cleaning up.  But towards the end the tide turned, and other movies started winning the important Oscars.

Cate Blanchet’s speech was great, but I’m sure everybody noticed the lack of clapping when she mentioned Woody Allen’s name.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

I loved Matthew McConaughey’s win.  When I saw him in Dallas Buyers Club, he really freaked me out, he and Jared were like skeletons.  So not only was his acting great, he really had to suffer to lose that weight beforehand.  40 pounds for someone who is not overweight to begin with is very difficult to lose!  I loved his speech, and was happy he threw in his trademark “alright alright alright!”.  However, I guess people in the LBGT community were upset he said nothing about AIDS.

And the grand prize Best Picture goes to……12 Years a Slave!!!!!!!

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All the movies were so great (well most of them) and I saw most of them and loved them all.

None of the big winners were any shock to me, in fact they were predicted fairly well.  I am happy for all the winners, and the nominees.  Even if you don’t win, you will always be introduced as “Oscar nominated” or “Academy Award nominated” actor or actress.  So it’s a win/win situation.

Congratulations to everyone!

The Evolution of Ellen

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I have always been a huge fan of Ellen Degeneres. I loved her standup comedy. I thought she was pretty, and very likeable. I used to watch her comedy specials on Showtime back in the 80′s. She was funny without being crude, and I liked her laid back style. She reminded me a bit of Jerry Seinfeld.

Her TV show was standard weekly watching fare. I can’t say I was 100% surprised when she came out on her TV show. But I can say that I was saddened that they cancelled her show because of it. It made no difference to me if she was gay or not. What she was was a very talented comedian and actress. And brave. Very brave. She did something that few would have done, back then. We were not very tolerant, back then. It takes us awhile to warm up. Baby steps.

So I always did admire her. When she came as a talk show host, she was awesome, simply awesome. It was the perfect platform for her. She could tell jokes, dance, sing, talk….what not to like?

And her look started to change, gradually. Over the years her hair got a little shorter, her style of dress a little less feminine.

ellen2

It wasn’t shocking, we all knew she was gay. Her relationships played out in the press, but there were only a few. When she started dating Portia Di Rossi, I was taken aback a little bit, but only because I didn’t know Portia was gay, as she played a sexy blond lawyer on my favorite show Ally McBeal. Just goes to show you that looks don’t define sexuality. Plenty of tomboys out there that are straight, and plenty of girly girls out there that are gay. Fine by me.

I was happy when Ellen and Portia were able to be married. I don’t have any religious objections to it. I only want people to be happy. I don’t really understand everything about being gay, whether it is biological or environmental or a little of both. As I’ve said before, don’t care.

Ellen is now a part of our everyday lives, at least mine. I watch her show, I see her on the award shows. She has done a bang up job as host, and I can’t wait for the next Academy Awards show this Sunday. I will leave you with this final portrait of Ellen, with boy short hair, and suit and bow tie. She makes a very handsome woman!  Baby steps.

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They’re back! Those lovely Chantix dreams

dreams

When I quit smoking forever ago, I took Chantix, because I didn’t think I could do it myself. I had failed once before after being smoke-free for exactly one year. I quit on my small bowel resection surgery day, and started up again on the one year anniversary when I was fired from my job after a hostile take-over. (Beware of smiling faces. They don’t tell the truth. Tell lies and I got proof).

But I digress. (There goes that whole “my life is a song lyric” thing). So I bought a pack of cigarettes, to deal with the stress. Only a pack. Until the next day, when I bought a whole carton.

I sure wasn’t proud of myself. In fact I was so ashamed I tried to hide it, and only smoked in the privacy of my own home. In the bathroom with the fan on. Like back in high school. Except I didn’t smoke in high school. But whatever. I got busted by my niece, who kept my secret until my habit took over and I threw caution to the wind and smoked in public again. Wow where people disappointed.

So I decided to take charge again. This time I knew I need chemical help to get this monkey off my back. They say that nicotine is harder to quit than cocaine etc. Can’t personally compare, but I wouldn’t be surprised. One more….it always drags you back. One more means you are still a smoker. Not many people can be just “social smokers”. I know I can’t.

So, I went the Chantix route. My doctor advised me about the vivid dreams I might have. Boy she wasn’t kidding! My experience on Chantix was AWESOME! First off, I quite smoking after 1 1/2 cigarettes. I kid you not. It not only turned off my nicotine receptors in my brain, it made me quite nauseous to even think about ever smoking another cigarette. Still does to this day, almost 10 years later.

But the best part was the dreams! I wrote a previous post about the dreams, they were so incredible! Realistic, colorful, rewindable, incredible dreams! I really missed them, those dreams.

Well, they’re back! I’m not sure why. For whatever reason, I am grateful. They come during a long cold winter, and add some excitement to my life. Don’t get me wrong, they are not all sunshine and puppy dog dreams. Sometimes they are very realistic dreams that hit home in my most venerable spots. Because isn’t that what dreaming is all about? Often I wake up and have to think for a minute what my reality is.

For the most part, my dreams as of late are once again full of action, color, drama etc. I try to write them down when I wake up but usually end up writing nonsensical drivel.

Oh well.  Still provides me with hours of entertainment, lol.  How are you?  Do you have vivid dreams?  Please share with the class!