My Dream Man….Pinch me, Please!

I’m divorced.  A two-time loser, actually.  I need to stay away from brown eyes and Leo’s.  Dark, smoldering bedroom eyes.  That stray.  Pfffftttt.

I do love a man with dark hair and blue eyes.  Something like this……  Hey, looks help but it’s the whole package that counts.  Someone might LOOK good on the outside, but their insides are rotten to the core.  So, in order to sweep me off my feet, here’s the scenario:



A tall, dark, handsome stranger walks into the room. He has piercing blue eyes, and dark hair with just a bit of wave to it, and just a touch too long to be conventional. His white teeth and dazzling smile seem to gleam from across the room. He is superbly dressed. Crisp white shirt, beautiful suit and tie, polished black tassel loafers. Suddenly he spots me, and glides over to me, like a beautiful sleek animal seeking his prey. He extends an immaculately manicured hand. As I lean in to touch his hand, I get a whiff of his fresh, clean, nautical scent, like he just came in from the ocean. He lingers just a moment longer, and I inhale deeply. My pupils dilate as I recognize the smell of his pheromones. They match mine. I cannot as yet raise my eyes to his. I am fascinated by the crisp black hairs on the back of his hand, which is holding mine. My own body responds…the hair on the back of my neck tingles. I finally look into his eyes, and see my own reflection staring back at me, like I am mirrored in his eyes. I am hypnotized by his deep gaze. I cannot pull away. His manly aroma surrounds me, and I am helpless. The world fades away to a blur. I feel him, I smell him. His scent is imprinted upon me forever. Without a word spoken, I am his, and he is mine.

Whew.  I think if I really ran across this man, I would faint before I could utter a sound!



Doubled my views!

Thanks to you, kind viewers, I doubled the number of my usual views today! Not really sure why, maybe I finally have picked a topic or two that appeals to people. I’ve been writing, writing, writing, not really knowing if anybody is reading. I haven’t gotten a lot of comments in wordpress, hopefully that will come next! Thank you, thank you, for reading my blog.

Hungering for the Games – Redux

I thought I would shake the mothballs off this blog I wrote last August, as my Hunger will be assuaged at midnight tomorrow night.  Very highly anticipated, just like for Twilight.  I have seen many trailers since the first one came out last year, and each one peaks my interest even more.  I will be back to review the movie on Friday.  I’m sure I won’t be disappointed.

The first trailer for The Hunger Games movie was shown at the VMA Awards show.  It was short, and didn’t show much.  That is the purpose of the first trailer.  Give you just enough to want more.  To hunger for more.  I, indeed, am drooling and can’t wait to feast at the first movie come 2012.  However, just like all multi-book series, ala Harry Potter, Twilight etc., you have the interminable wait for the next one.

Luckily for me, these books did not enter my realm of consciousness until after all 3 books were published.  I read The Hunger Games series in 3 days.  I could not stop.  Reading is my drug of choice.  Thank goodness for my Kindle, 30 seconds to a new book, not hours running to the bookstore.  The books consumed me as much as I consumed them.  The whole concept, of using children in this way, is so alien to what our culture believes.  We are used to seeing only adults fight for power and recognition.  But who knows what a post-apocolypse world would do.  Children as the proverbial sacrificial lamb.  How entertaining.

It will be interesting to me to see how closely the movies will follow the books.  There already is talk about the casting of the characters, mostly negative.    But we all create a picture in our minds while reading, that may or may not translate into a real person.  I will save my critique until after the movie.  I do hope though that they put them all under contract for the series, not just the picture, as cast changes just confuse people more and usually don’t work out well.  Unless we’re talking Charlie Sheen.  Never was a big fan.  I’ll take Ashton anytime!

Forever Overprepared?

Now being raised as a good Catholic girl, my parents, the nuns and the Girl Scouts always taught us to be prepared.  You never know what might happen.  Always be sure to wear clean underpants in case of an accident is one that always stuck in my mind.

Yesterday the news media started throwing each other under the bus about Hurricane Irene for scaring everybody needlessly about the impending disaster.  You couldn’t turn on any channel since last week without all the doom and gloom about a Cat 5 hurricane hurling itself towards the east coast.  New York shut everything down way in advance.  Luckily, Irene wore itself out and turned into a tropical storm instead of a Cat 5.  I imagine the Weather Channel and few others were disappointed.

HOWEVER, Irene caused 23 deaths and billions in damages, massive power outages and flooding.  It may be weeks before power is restored.  Flights are still disrupted, people are stranded at airports, people can’t get to work, homes are destroyed, people were evacuated.  Irene did indeed cause terrible havoc.  I do thank God it was not worse.  It could have been.

But it does beg the question, how much does it cost in terms of fear and displacement and money to respond to any imminent threat with the worst case scenario?  We are still skittish after Katrina, and the Indonesian tsunami and earthquakes in the far east.  We instantly overreact, afraid that every incident will be the “big one”.   The oil companies were already prepared to jack up the price of gas, the insurance companies were expecting to take another huge beating with claims, Wall Street was ready to do another knee jerk reaction.  Don’t get me started on the politicians.  Weather has ruined more than one political career!

I tell you, between the droughts and the tornadoes and hurricanes and earthquakes and floods that have been happening lately, I’m starting to look at things in a whole different light, like Mayan calendars etc.  I’m anxiously dreading 2012, and waiting for Noah to come back and build me an ark!



Living a chronic incurable life

I’m chronic and incurable.  That’s what they told me at age 30.  I remember age 30 very well.  It was the age of my first divorce.  It literally kicked the crap out of me.  Very shortly after my very traumatic divorce, I ended up in the hospital, thinking my life was ending.  With every drop of blood that gushed out into the toliet, I was sure something vital had burst inside of me and I was bleeding out.  After about 5 days and 20 pounds later, I was given the good news.  I wasn’t going to die.  I had Crohn’s Disease. 

Crohn’s Disease?  WTF?  I had never heard of it before, so it couldn’t be so bad, right?  Hey, great weight lose program!  20 pounds in days!  However, 50 pounds later and a liquid diet for 3 months, it wasn’t so funny.  Neither were the meds.  Specifically, steriods.  Miracle drug, but nasty ass side effects.  Stress was usually the precursor to set off a flare.

Eventually, I got back to normal.  A NEW normal.  My life would never be the same again.  I was young and dumb.  I didn’t realize that “chronic” meant lifetime.  It wasn’t just an occasional inconvenience.  It was EVERY DAY.  Some days, you forget.  Then it comes roaring back to bite you in the ass.  Literally.  Semi-annual emergency hospital stays, hooked up to IV’s, looking forward to broth for dinner for a week.  Regular courses of steriods, antibiotics, immune suppressors, chemo drugs.  Lots of quality bathroom time. Complications that included pancreatitis, malignant melanoma, hysterectomy, fistulas, small bowel resection etc.  Nice.

Time goes on.  Another marriage.  Another failure.  Equally bad luck with choice of new job.  Bad economy.  Cancellation of health insurance.   I felt like I had a flashing sign on my back,  NO HEALTH INSURANCE, HAVE CHRONIC INCURABLE DISEASE, PLEASE KICK ME SOME MORE.  Incredible stressors associated with job. Constant turmoil, constant abuse, constant crying.  STRESS.   More bad stuff, that I cannot go into at this point.  Let’s just say, lowest of the low.  Cannot go to GI doctor,  cannot afford medicine, cannot go to hospital.

I finally hand myself back over to God, once again.  He sends me my guardian angel, and sets forth a chain reaction of events to bring me back into the light.  He takes charge and removes me from an impossible job situation and makes my Crohns bearable with no drugs, and a kind GP doctor that helps me, both physically and mentally.  Slowly but surely I got better. 

I still have no insurance.  I still have no job.  I still have, and will always have Crohns Disease.  But I do have what really counts.  I have family, I have friends, I have a smile on my face (usually) and most importantly, I have God, who keeps me going from day to day.

Welcome to a chronic incurable life.

Beer Goggles

Do the girls really look prettier at closing time?   Or is just pure desperation that the night is almost over and no luck yet?  Do men really want to chew their arm off in the morning?

Seems so sad, and so desperate, although I’m sure it happens more than I know.  I have had a few fuzzy nights of naughty fun back in my day, but I usually knew what the guy looked like and remembered his name! 

Times have changed though.  People aren’t really looking to date, they just want to hook up, or go on group dates somewhere fun.  It’s so complicated nowadays.  No wonder I would just rather be a friend than a date. 

Some night I want to wear those beer goggles, and see what happens.  Too bad I can’t stand the taste of beer!


The 10 Year Rule


 I am a Cougar.  I like my men young, tender, and tasty.  However, I am not a cradle robber.  I do have some scruples.  I have rules.  The most important rule is no more than ten years younger than me.  I actually started this rule back when I turned 30.  So many delectable interns on the menu!  But no fun unless they were twenty one.  They had to be at least legal to enter a bar and buy me drinks.

Being the older woman has its advantages.  Usually more experienced, can train the cubs properly.  They are so grateful afterwards.  Of course, sometimes it can backfire.  As you age, so do the cubs.  And when you reach a certain mature age like myself, the cubs can be past their prime and turn into plain old lazy lions.  No more fighting over the female.  They just want to lay around all day and nap, and then maybe go for a few sips at the local watering hole with the other old lions.

So can you imagine going 10 years OLDER?  I shudder at the thought.  If I’m going out hunting, I won’t settle for less than prime meat!

Top Ten Books

I am a voracious reader, along with my sister.  We love all manner of books, and share them back and forth.  As young kids we would read in bed with a flashlight.  Summer reading lists from school were done in the first week.  We couldn’t get enough. 

I’ve read some great books in my day.  In compiling this top ten list, I’m sure I’ve forgotten some of the best, but my brain just can’t remember them all!  So my current top ten is sitting on my bookshelf or in my Nook/Kindle.  Here it is:

1.  Jean Auel’s Earth Children series (Clan of the Cave Bear 

2.  Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series

3.  P.C. Cast House of Night series

4.  Clive Cussler’s Dirk Pitt series

5.  Nora Roberts as J.D. Robb Death series

6. John Grogan’s Marley and Me

7.  Garth Stein’s Racing in the Rain

8.  Bruce Cameron’s A Dog’s Purpose

9.  Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games series

10. Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants

And so many, many more!  In different phases of my life, I had different favorites.  These are a list of my current favorites.  I would love to hear about YOUR favorites!  I’m always looking for a good book!

Is it ever too late for “One Day”?

I can’t sleep tonight, still thinking about the movie, and it makes me very wistful about my life and if I will ever share a passionate kiss like that again in my lifetime.  Arg, there I go, baring my soul too much again!  Some things are better left unsaid.  But I can’t help but feel sad that I will probably never find another person to make me feel that way again.  I wish I had appreciated it more back in my youthful days.  I never thought I was good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough etc.  Yet when I look back, I wish I knew then what I know now.  Sometimes it takes aging wisdom or 20/20 hindsight to appreciate the things we had then.  We thought we had forever, and the world by the tail!  All too soon, it is gone…  The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side.  I wish, I would have, I could have…..too late now.  Or is it?

“One Day” was today!

Just a quick update about the movie, just got home from seeing it. It made me cry, and made my heart ache, so mission accomplished! I highly recommend it, it’s a great date night movie, or a good afternoon movie by yourself or with the girls. I’ve been going to movies by myself for years, so it doesn’t bother me anymore. That way I can go whenever I want, and see whatever I want!

The only disappointment of the whole movie was that the awesome kissing scene I had seen in a trailer apparently didn’t make the final cut for the movie. I have no idea why, and I felt very bereft without it. Anyway, thumbs up! If you see it, let me know what you think!