Well, just as I had feared, my last blog about Divorce versus Death backfired on me and may have cost me an old friendship. This old friend recently lost his wife to a hard fought battle with cancer. He took umbrage at my blog, and I don’t blame him. I tried to make it perfectly clear at the beginning of my blog that I meant no disrespect to anyone who had lost a spouse to death. Didn’t matter. He took it personally.
My fear of backlash like this is the reason why it took me years to voice my feelings. But apparently my feelings need to stay buried, so I don’t upset somebody else. We both lost someone we loved. He held her in his arms when she died. I was never able to say goodbye. I got no final kiss, no final hug, no final words of love. I got nothing but a new girlfriend flashed around town and in my face. I got no words of encouragement from anyone. I was just supposed to forget the past 10 years and move on with my life as if it never happened. Seriously. That is what I was told.
I am not stupid, and I am not unfeeling. If anything, I am just the opposite. I know how devasting a death can be. I KNOW THAT. I was never disputing that. I was just giving voice to MY feelings, not EVERYONE’S feelings. Is it so difficult to understand my point of view? I guess I don’t convey my meaning very well.
I apologize once again to my friend, and to anyone else who thought the same as he did.
I always did think that it’s the ones who are left behind who suffer the most.