Many people love anniversaries, look forward to anniversaries. Anniversaries should be happy times. Not this one. Not this one, not ever. I can barely watch the remembrances, even now, ten years later. Seems like it happened yesterday. I just dread tomorrow. So many innocent lives. For what?
Ten years ago today I was in a very, very dark place, myself. At first I wished I was in one of those towers. I would have traded places with any of those poor innocent people, with wives, husbands, children. I had nothing. Nothing that I could see at that time. My own vision was clouded with my own personal catastrophe, that was as real to me as those towers. It would have been an easy solution to all my problems.
I was at work on that day, trying to make it through another day of heartache and pain and tears. The WTC collapse seemed so surreal. Our bosses at work would not let us watch it online after the collapse, or leave for the day. I was scared. Would they be attacking other tall towers in big cities? Nuclear plants? I lived near both. After work I went home to an empty house, and turned on the TV and sat and watched in horror, alone, and in tears. I could not believe or comprehend how people could destroy each other like that. But I knew personally just how evil people could be, so it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. People hurt and kill people all the time. But the mass intent of this was just too overwhelming. I think I was numb. Eventually I just collapsed into myself, just like the towers.
In the coming days, Americans banded together, and it helped restore my faith in humankind. I only wish that the spirit of that day would last forever, and help this country find its way again. Maybe this anniversary will rekindle that flame. I will be honoring the moment of silence at noon tomorrow, and remembering the brave people that died that day. And I will always remember the personal pain I felt myself on that day, and how I rose from the ashes and became a much better person.
God Bless America.