In case you don’t have a calendar, today is Sweetest Day. This Hallmark Holiday never did seem to take off, not like Valentine’s Day. Most men, and some women, do not celebrate it. HOWEVER……back in the day….
One Sweetest Day in particular was extra sweet for me. By extra sweet I mean Rated R, so those of you who need to, shut down this blog NOW!
Where was I…..well, I was 21 years old, and just out of college, and STILL A VIRGIN. Yes, that’s right, folks, I made it through college, AND IN A SORORITY, still a virgin. Not for lack of offers, mind you. My mother did a REALLY good job of screwing up my mind for life with all her pontifications on what happens to “bad” girls. The nuns did their job too. Back in my day, an unwed mother was a shame to be hidden away. So every time the opportunity presented itself, I pictured myself pregnant and alone with no husband and no job and no family. It worked. (Maybe we need to practice it a little more nowadays!?) Although how anybody can get pregnant by accident nowadays still mystifies me. But I digress…..
It was October, and the love of my life at the time was Taylor Kelly. I met Taylor at a dance club, and he was most gifted of all. He could do a move on the dance floor! Move over John Travolta! Keep in mind, this was back in the days of DISCO DANCING! Oh, what fun we had, I miss it! Everybody danced! My roommate from college, Fonzie, and I were popular dance partners. So Taylor and I danced away more than a few nights, and pretty soon I was thinking it was time. Time for you know what.
I planned my own seduction. In my parent’s house. In my bedroom. In my childhood twin bed, that I still slept in. For Sweetest Day. I wanted the day to be special. Fonzie and I invited Taylor and his buddy to my house for a “party”, but when they got there, it was only a party of four. Now, things get a little hazy here for me, because I needed a lot of liquid courage, but I do know that I went to bed that night with Taylor a virgin, and woke up the next morning with Taylor STILL a virgin. How did it NOT happen, you say? I still don’t know. I think the liquor did its damage to Taylor too, and due to my total lack of experience, I was no help in the whole process, and the attempt just withered away, so to speak. We never spoke of it afterwards. We did try again a few weeks later, with the same results. I was starting to wonder….what the heck was everybody making such a big deal about???
Luckily, (or not), shortly thereafter I met another man, and all attempts were a go. We were married within six months. After all, I was a good Catholic girl, and felt obligated. I felt I could always say with pride that I married the first man I ever had sex with.
Sadly, we divorced ten years later. I’m thinking the Catholic girl guilt played at least a small role, even after marriage. But after my divorce, I decided I needed to make up for my lost youth. But that is another blog for another day.
So, Happy Sweetest Day! Still brings back fond memories…..