Another Karadashian Kastoff

Well it looks like Kim and Kris’s multi-million dollar wedded bliss is over.  I’m with Khloe on this one….never did figure out what Kim saw in the cocky, arrogant, benchwarming basketball player.  He treated her like a rag doll and seemed to get great pleasure in picking her up and throwing her in the water or on the bed.  Frankly I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did.  He never fit in with the family, as he refused to drink of the Kardashian Kool-Aid.  He was very sarcastic and had a smart mouth and said stupid stuff.  In my humble opinion.  (How Bruce Jenner doesn’t put a gun to his head is beyond me, lol).

At first I was feeling bad about all the money the E network spent on this failed wedding, but then I realized that this new drama is RATINGS GOLD BABY!!!!!  Now everyone will tuned into Kourtney and Kim Take New York to see how all this plays out.  I wonder if Kim just went along with the wedding, knowing she was going to dump him all along.  Wouldn’t surprise me.  Look what goes on with the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows.  If you think all that drama isn’t pre-planned, you must read Reality Steve dot com. 

Kris, your free ride is over.  You still have no job, and now no wife.  And if the prenup holds up, no money.  But you had a good season on E, and got to put your grubby paws all over a Kardashian.  And I’m sure you’ll sell your tell all story to the press.  Good luck with all that.

The love of a parent, the loss of a child

It is said that the love of a parent is an unfailing one, and the loss of a child the biggest heartbreak imaginable.  So what happens when the two collide?  You get a Susan Smith, an Andrea Yates, a Casey Anthony, and possibly a Deborah Bradley, mother of missing infant Lisa Irvin.

I am not a mother myself, but have been lucky enough to be close enough to my family to parent vicariously through them.  I cannot begin to fathom losing any of my nieces and nephews, let alone be responsible for their demise.

How does a seemingly devoted mother turn in an instant to kill their offspring?  You always hear afterwards “they seemed like such a normal family, the mother was always seemed so loving”.  There were no outward signs of discord in the family.  The spouse or other family members are equally shocked when the tragedy happens.  Is it genetic?  Is it depression, baby blues, an accident?  A baby screams all day, all night.  A young mother feels helpless, and just wants it to stop.  A woman finds love, but with a man who doesn’t want to include her children in that love.  A mother drinks or takes drugs, and a child dies on her watch.  Panic sets in, and the reality begins.

Personally I think some deaths are indeed accidents, and the parent tries to cover it up as a kidnapping or robbery.  Eventually the truth comes out in most cases, and then it looks even worse for the person responsible.

Being a parent is a HUGE committment.  One that lasts a lifetime.  Many people are not prepared, or not capable of doing this.  You can debate all day long abortion, adoption, etc., but the fact remains that giving birth does not automatically make you a good parent.  Children can bring a family closer to each other, or tear them apart. 

There are so many people in the world desperate to have a child, or who have lost a child, and would dearly love to have the chance to raise and protect them in this world.  It is hard to imagine the opposite.

Hold your children dear to your heart.  God has entrusted them to you.  Their fate should be in His hands, not yours.

Staring at the back of my eyelids

It’s been a couple weeks now.  Weeks that I literally cannot fall asleep at night until dawn.  I am like a Zombie, from the Night of the Living Dead.  That’s how I feel right now.  I can hardly function.

I have tried everything.  On top of my muscle relaxer and pain killer for my back, I try PM’s.  Nothing.  Wide awake.  Part of my problem is the pain from my back, I can’t find a comfortable position.  I have both controls of my air bed going at once, trying to find the perfect setting.  Not too hard, not too soft.  I find myself sleeping in the middle of the bed mostly.  Simon the Siamese Scaredy Cat is getting impatient with me as I keep jostling him around.  He gives me slanted siamese eye look that says “enough already!  go the **** to sleep!”

I was going as a Vampiress to the Halloween party this weekend.  I do love a sexy vampire, it is my secret passion lol.  However, I may go as a Zombie instead.  You should see me when I wake up after only a few hours of sleep.  Hair sticking up everywhere.  Black circles all around my eyes. Let’s just say I don’t need a costume.

Reality bites….

For a few brief hours today I thought that God had sent me a gift to help me with my grief.  Lately I have had quite a few crying jags over losing my Mollie and Maddie.  I miss my girls so DAMN MUCH.  Sunday I went to the Sandbar to watch the football game.  It was a beautiful fall day, and I was standing outside with some of my friends on the beach, when this gorgeous golden retriever came running up to me full blast, and leaped upon me with delight, wiggling and waggling and licking me to death!  He was soaking wet, had just come out of the lake.  He had no collar on, but he appeared to be well fed, well-groomed, and well-trained.  It was obvious he had run away from home for a little adventure.  He was galloping around the beach, chasing kids on their bikes, fetching sticks I threw him, and greeting everybody who came in or out. 
After a while, I thought, hmmmm, I wonder where his owners are.  I was concerned he would run out the main road and get hit by a car or something.  Everyone kept telling me that I should take him home, and if anybody came by looking for him they would call me.  Surely someone would have been looking by now.  I sat outside on a picnic table off and on with this dog for a couple of hours.  He would take off and disappear for a for a while but then would come back.  He was smitten with me, as I was with him.  He kept leaning on me and wanting to be petted.  For a few moments I allowed myself to seriously think that maybe God had sent me this perfect creature to soak up my tears and make me smile again. 
I was almost going to take him home, when a girl came running up the beach with a leash in her hands.  My heart sank, and I pointed her in the direction of the galloping dog.  She waved a thanks, and my dream dog was gone.  Poof.  I blinked my eyes, and shook my head.  Reality was back.  I was sad for a little bit, but happy the dog was found, even while thinking, I was close, so close.  Once again I would go home to quiet, empty staircase.
Everyone thinks I should get a new dog, but truthfully I can’t afford it, am prolly having back surgery, and when I go back to work it’s too long to leave a puppy.  So I came home and petted Simon the Siamese Scaredy Cat and told him he better step up his dog skills game, lol.  I do love Simon very much, always have since he’s been a baby kitty, but a dog, especially a big dog, seems just more….human.  It’s hard to feel lonely with a big old lug of a dog around to be your best friend.

I’m with the band

Just recently I ran across Family Jewels, Gene Simmons reality TV show.  Wow.  Who knew WHAT resided behind all that KISS makeup!!!!!!  I was familiar with his now wife, Shannon, from her B movie days (she was a Playgirl), but I was never really aware of what the real Gene Simmons looked like.  I must say I was quite disappointed, in both his looks AND his personality, he seems quite boorish.  Just goes to show you what a little money can get do for a person!

It got me to thinking though.  How many of today’s most popular bands are….getting along in years.  Just like me.  They are growing old with me.  Older even.  Jon Bon Jovi was my favorite boy back in the early eighties. college.  Jon Bon Jovi is still my favorite boy.  Who can resist that face?  That smile? 

The majority of the top touring bands average more than 40 years old, based on their frontman’s age.  The above mentioned KISS and Jon Bon Jovi.  Rolling Stones.  Journey.  Queen.  U2.  Neil Diamond.  Michael Jackson was 50 when he died right before his big comeback.  I must say that it is comforting to have some of my favorite musicians still around. 

Not to say I don’t like new music.  KISS FM is always on in my car (unless I’m listening to a Glee CD).  I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga, Train, Rhianna, Katy Perry, Eminiem, Bruno Mars…..I could go on and on.  I am a fan of most music, from oldies to classical to hip hop to top 40.

I would say I’m lucky to have ALL the music in my life!  What or who is YOUR favorite????

Once Upon a Time…..there was a big bad wolf/witch/insert villian here

Tonight ushers in a new medium for fairy tales.  One that plays on TV, and gives another scary visual to all those “villains” that make up a large component of the fairy tale that resides between the “Once upon a time” and “They lived happily ever after.” 

Yes, we soothe our children to sleep every night with stories of wicked stepmothers/sisters, witches, wolves, evil queens, giants, and the like.  I mean, Bambi’s mamma gets shot by a hunter, Little Red Riding Hood is chased by a wolf who wants to eat here, Snow White and Cinderella had to deal with wicked stepmothers, and the 3 Little Pigs had a big bad wolf huffing and puffing trying to blow their house down!

Even the Disney movies get in on the act, making even the adults cry with their sad tales, which thankfully always ends happy and teaches us a lesson to boot!  Animated movies have come a long way, with Disney and Pixar etc., and are movie blockbusters, with big name stars behind the voices.  (My favorite part of the movie is trying to figure out the name behind the voice, lol.)

So tonight, I will watch ABC’s offering of “Once Upon a Time” and see how I like it.  Not sure if I would let little kiddies watch though, so make sure you tell them a good bedtime fairy tale when you tuck them in, and then settle down for your adult version.  Let me know how you like it!

Another one bites the dust




So.  Another evil dictator has been hunted down in his lair and disposed of.  Muammar Gaddafi  joins an ever-growing list of country leaders who will disperse their version of government no more.

I remember when we despaired of ever catching some of these guys, especially when we were hunting for Saddam Hussein.  My army pilot boyfriend at the time, who had just come back from the initial invasion of Iraq, was quite nonchalant and confident when he said to give it time, we will get him.  He was right.  He was my hero, he’s been to Iraq more times than I’ve been out-of-state I think.  And Afghanistan, Korea… name it, if it’s a hot spot, he’s been there.  So many of our soldiers have been there.

When I heard Obama say this week that our soldiers will be home from Iraq in time for the holidays, I had mixed feelings.  Happy for us, no doubt about it.  But I hope that Iraq does not revert back to its old ways, and negate all the sacrifices made in life and limb.  Not to even mention all the billions spent there.  I think I heard the figure 4 billion a month tossed around, and I just wanted to puke.  All that money.  Hope it was worth it. 

So, does that mean that 4 billion a month will be pumped back in the good old U.S.of A?  I sure hope so.  I hope that money is not diverted to another military action in yet another country that we feel we have to police.  It seems to me that the good citizens of many countries are tired of being repressed, dictated to, and lied to.  Including us.  Occupy Wall Street has popped up in many places, including Chicago.  People are tired of not having a say in matters of importance.  In fact, I think millions and millions would join me in saying:

“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

The Sweetest of the Sweet

In case you don’t have a calendar, today is Sweetest Day.  This Hallmark Holiday never did seem to take off, not like Valentine’s Day.  Most men, and some women, do not celebrate it.  HOWEVER……back in the day….

One Sweetest Day in particular was extra sweet for me.  By extra sweet I mean Rated R, so those of you who need to, shut down this blog NOW! 

Where was I…..well, I was 21 years old, and just out of college, and STILL A VIRGIN.  Yes, that’s right, folks, I made it through college, AND IN A SORORITY, still a virgin.  Not for lack of offers, mind you.  My mother did a REALLY good job of screwing up my mind for life with all her pontifications on what happens to “bad” girls.  The nuns did their job too.  Back in my day, an unwed mother was a shame to be hidden away.   So every time the opportunity presented itself, I pictured myself pregnant and alone with no husband and no job and no family.  It worked.  (Maybe we need to practice it a little more nowadays!?)  Although how anybody can get pregnant by accident nowadays still mystifies me.  But I digress…..

It was October, and the love of my life at the time was Taylor Kelly.  I met Taylor at a dance club, and he was most gifted of all.  He could do a move on the dance floor!  Move over John Travolta!  Keep in mind, this was back in the days of DISCO DANCING!  Oh, what fun we had, I miss it!  Everybody danced!  My roommate from college, Fonzie, and I were popular dance partners.  So Taylor and I danced away more than a few nights, and pretty soon I was thinking it was time.  Time for you know what.

I planned my own seduction.  In my parent’s house.  In my bedroom.  In my childhood twin bed, that I still slept in. For Sweetest Day.  I wanted the day to be special.   Fonzie and I invited Taylor and his buddy to my house for a “party”, but when they got there, it was only a party of four.  Now, things get a little hazy here for me, because I needed a lot of liquid courage, but I do know that I went to bed that night with Taylor a virgin, and woke up the next morning with Taylor STILL a virgin.  How did it NOT happen, you say?  I still don’t know.  I think the liquor did its damage to Taylor too, and due to my total lack of experience, I was no help in the whole process, and the attempt just withered away, so to speak.  We never spoke of it afterwards.  We did try again a few weeks later, with the same results.  I was starting to wonder….what the heck was everybody making such a big deal about???

Luckily, (or not), shortly thereafter I met another man, and all attempts were a go.  We were married within six months.  After all, I was a good Catholic girl, and felt obligated.  I felt I could always say with pride that I married the first man I ever had sex with.

Sadly, we divorced ten years later.  I’m thinking the Catholic girl guilt played at least a small role, even after marriage.  But after my divorce, I decided I needed to make up for my lost youth.  But that is another blog for another day.

So, Happy Sweetest Day!  Still brings back fond memories…..

Take a ride on the Wall Street Rollercoaster!

First of all, I HATE rollercoasters, I have vertigo and don’t like that feeling of losing my stomach and the fear of hurling off into space.  And that is exactly how Wall Street is making me feel lately, and I don’t like it.  So here’s what I want to know….

Where’s MY bailout??????  Remember back in 2008 when the Treasury’s TARP bill gave $500 BILLION to the banks to bail them out?  Well, that doesn’t count all the money the FED gave to banks and big companies in “loans”.  Do a little digging and you will find that it all added up to $1.2 TRILLION.  Yes, TRILLION.   The total amount lent to the private banking sector by the federal government was  about the same as the current amount of 6.5 million delinquent or foreclosed mortgages.  However, those borrowers haven’t gotten any meaningful government help.  The banks were covered, and then turned around and screwed their customers and forced them out of their homes.

I remember thinking way back in 2008, why don’t they just give all U.S. taxpayers $1 million each, and we could all pay back our own loans and perhaps have a little something left for retirement.  The bank would get paid, the auto companies would get paid, the charge cards would get paid…..everybody would be a winner.  But no.  Too easy, I guess.  The government would never trust the American people to bail themselves out, just like they don’t trust us to save for our own retirement.  Yeah, that social security is really gonna help us.

Retirees have lost a huge portion of their nest egg, and nobody is helping them, it’s all THEIR fault.  The middle class gets nothing except a shrinking paycheck or unemployment.  The rich are protected by the Republicans.  And the Democrats are lame ducks.  Which means they are sitting ducks, with Republicans taking pot shots at them in a barrel.  I have lost ALL faith and ALL respect for our government.  We the people, blah blah blah.  Nobody is a winner here, whether you are a Democrat or a Republican.  Let’s all blame one or the other.  That will do us a lot of good.

Ok, I’m stepping down from my soapbox now.     


Beware: It’s “Fall”ing out

The thermostat has been in the 70’s and 80’s the past week or so, but the leaves are falling fast and furious.  It is dangerous to walk outside my front door right now, cause whole boughs of leaves will fall and hit you in the head.  It’s been windy so there are leaves EVERYWHERE.  I have five big cottonwoods in my front lawn, which is now knee-deep in leaves, and my gutters are overflowing.  I don’t even know if I’ll be able to drive my lawn tractor through the yard to mulch up the leaves!  I was gonna get right on that job when….

My wonderful girlfriend called me for a boat ride.  Yes, I said, I haven’t been for a boat ride all year!  It was perfectly gorgeous outside.  High 70’s, gentle breeze, good company, and stunning vistas of trees around all the lakes.

 God’s work at his best.   Thank you so much for this beautiful weather, and for putting on this colorful show every year!  I am so grateful.

The leaves will always be there tomorrow.  Today I enjoyed the view.