You are my match? Seriously?

Lately I’ve been making some changes in my life.  My birthday is coming up soon, and I realized that I’m not getting any younger, and that my glory days are disappearing fast in the rear view mirror of life. 

So I thought I’d give Match.com another go.  I had very good luck with Match in the past, and went out on a lot of really great dates, and even had a long distance relationship that lasted a year and a half, if you count the time he was in Iraq.  After he decided he’d rather go BACK to Iraq than retire and stay at home with me, I figured my luck had run out.  No more Army pilots for me!  He was married to the army, and LOVED the excitement of war.  How could I compete with that?

A few years have passed, and I haven’t found the pickings very good in or around my home town.  Most men are either married, or single for a reason.  A good reason.  Ones that I am NOT going to deal with again.  Been there, done that, barely lived to tell the tale.  Hence, I rejoined Match.

Funny thing is, I recognize a lot of the same people.  Either they are still looking (bad sign), or are lazy and never took down their profiles (like me) and get the weekly emails and quickly scroll through the pictures to see if one pops, that would make it worth their while to PAY for the pursuit of happiness.

After perusing the site for a while, I started by sending out a few winks.  Then I figured those are pretty useless, especially if the guy isn’t a member.  At least if I email them, I can see if they ever opened the email, and were indeed a member.  See, that’s how they get you.  You get notification that you have an email, but you don’t know from who, so you have to pay up first.  Many don’t bother until the emails start racking up.  But whatever, I digress.

So out went the witty and charming emails.  Bingo!  TWO guys actually responded right away!  But immediately a red flag went up.  They wanted to email outside of match, on yahoo.  Usually that is not a good sign.  Usually that means they are scammers.  But, I thought I’d see for sure.  I used my cat’s email address (yes, I did!) and sent them an email.  Oh, the ones I got back were sooooooo unbelievable complimentary!  How beautiful, smart, charming, and loving I am.  How they will dedicate their lives to make me happy.  Blah blah blah.  Again, been there, done that.  Scammers indeed.  Next email they will tell you they are “working” out of the country and need to have money wired to them to get home.  Needless to say, I was bummed.  They seemed so real.  These particular scammers were good.  Profiles were filled out in detail, with multiple pics and everything.  Sigh.

BUT…….then I got an email from a guy that I hadn’t contacted first.  He chose me!  He didn’t ask me to yahoo him!  SCORE!  So I chatted with him online for a time, and then he gave me his phone number.  I called him with my number blocked, and we talked and talked, for a few days.  Just when I thought I was going to get lucky (not that way), BANG! the bubble was burst.  This normal, sane, reasonably attractive man, was basically looking for a Dominatrix.  He wanted me to “control” him, and he would do anything I asked of him.  He got off on being dominated.  I am NOT Rhianna……chains and whips DON’T excite me!  As soon as he started talking about different “scenarios” that he fantasizes about, I wished him a good life and hung up.    Another disappointment.  Sheesh.

I’m obviously looking for love in all the wrong places.  What are the right places?  It’s going to happen when I least expect it, right?  Then why are so many people on dating sites?

I wonder if Match will give me a refund.  I’m just going to wait for Mr. Right to knock on my front door.  I think I have a better chance of that happening than finding one online.

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2 thoughts on “You are my match? Seriously?

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