Old as dirt

It’s official.  Today is my birthday, and I’m old as dirt.  Some days I feel like dirt too, lol.  But I have this magic mirror at home and when I look into it I am still 25, or 30.  No lines, bags, wrinkles, or fat.  I see long, luxurious golden brown hair, bright green eyes, a light dusting of freckles over my fair, creamy skin, twinkling teeth, and a perfect figure

But then I put my glasses on, and run screaming from the room.  The ravages of time have not been kind to me.  I suppose I could look worse, but I could sure look better.  If I won $10,000 in the Lotto I would run to the nearest plastic surgeon and tell him to take off 20 years!  Hmmm, maybe I would need $20,000. 

I wish I could say at least I still have my health, but I would laugh so hard I would prolly pee my pants a little.  I alone inherited ALL the bad genes in my family.  My sister and brother were left unscathed.  Lucky ones.  I seriously could be a doctor, I know more than some I’ve seen.  I’ve spent plenty of time in the hospital and do my research. 

And here it is at 2 a.m., still wide awake and unable to sleep, even after a Lunesta.  But I can’t really blame my insomnia on old age, it’s been with me always.  Lucky me.  I’m a binge sleeper.  Some times I sleep like a log, other times I go for days with barely a few hours.

I will miss my mom calling me on my birthday.  When she had Alzheimer’s, I would call her instead, and say “Thank you for having me”.  So, to my mom and dad up in heaven I would like to say “Thank you both for having me, and have a toast for me!  I miss you both, and love you, and will be with you one day.  I know you are taking care of my girls for me, and I yearn to see you all!”

Feel free to wish me a Happy Birthday.  I promise to put my glasses to read them!  It’s supposed to be a beautiful day today!


4 thoughts on “Old as dirt

  1. oh, jan i can sympathize. when did we get old. Overnite it seems it just snuck up on us. i too looked like “barbie” with long blond hair and green eyes and shapely legs. i miss head turning like dominoes from barstools as i walked to the restroom. I have a movie of me dirt bike riding i would love to put on facebook if only i knew how. my long blond hair blowing in the wind. sher then and now. i ran into a girl who all the boys loved in highschool and all the girls wanted to be like. it made me feel a wee bit better. we cant stay in our 20’s forever. even thought mentally i still feel like it.

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