Bachelor Ben, AKA Storm Horse

Let me preface by saying that I am jaded and prejudiced, especially because I read Reality Steve and know the unfolding of the whole season from First Impression Rose to Final Rose, but I ask you, is Bachelor Ben the WORST bachelor EVER???  This is the best ABC could do?  Really?

From his funky greasy lanky Geico caveman hair

to his bumbling conversation to his obvious leering and mealy mouth kissing skills, Ben Flajnik is NOT all that and a bag of chips.  In fact, many people were surprised he even made it to the top two in Ashley’s season, because of his hot bromance with Constantine, whom he was rarely seen without.

Truly, the Bachelor is nothing more than a competition among shameless fame whores (ala Vienna)  to come out a winner and get publicity.  The pretty, sweet girls all get sent home right away, and then the producers stage all kinds of drama with their edits of the “crazy” chick, “jealous” chick, “trash talking” chick etc.  You CAN make this shit up, lol.

Ben has done the whole talk show route, from Ellen to Jimmy Kimmel.  Ellen chastised Ben for keeping Courtney around because she is such a mean girl, and Jimmy Kimmel must read Reality Steve too because he listed the Final Four, AND picked the winner, before it was televised.  It was all Ben could do to keep a straight face.  In fact, most of the time, Ben DOESN’T keep a straight face.  He’s a snickerer.  Don’t cha just hate a snickerer????

Of course, if you don’t like Ben’s appearance in the Bachelor, perhaps you will prefer him as “Storm Horse” in his Cream Dreams porno video, where he tries to imitate JT and Andy Samberg’s SNL Dick in a Box.  Epic fail.  Check out YouTube if you want.  Ewwwww.

How did the Storm Horse end up on The Bachelor?  My God, don’t these producers know how to use Google?  Hmmm, maybe they do….

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