Love and Hate….it’s a fine line


Where do you draw that line?  How do you go from madly in love to I never want to see your face again?  Did you really ever love each other?  Do you really now hate each other?  Did you really TRY to see the difference?

When you say vows, when you bond FOR LIFE, and then someone RIPS or TEARS that bond apart, part of your heart gets ripped away with it.  There is no clean break.  You each take pieces of each other with you, whether you want to or not.

Vows. Before God. For Life. I honestly think that people do not really care about all that anymore.  The divorce rate is unbelievably high.  It is used as a quick fix, instead of a well thought out and rationally discussed option.

It makes me really sad, especially for myself.  It makes me feel like a failure in God’s eyes, even though it was not my idea, and I fought tooth and nail to stop it.  I fought so hard I almost died doing it.

I have written several other blogs about my ex, so I won’t bore you with the details again.  I just wish that people could go back in time, and gently and respectfully disengage.  The whole process of breaking up is so traumatic, to both our hearts and our minds.  It shouldn’t be this way.  Unfortunately, I don’t think we can change it.  When it comes to our emotions, cooler heads do NOT prevail.

Shame, really.  I love you, I hate you.  So close, yet so far.

I pretended nothing was wrong.  Until that day.  The day we went from saying I love you in the morning, to catching him in the arms of another woman that night.  And just like that, he was gone.  He never spoke to me again except for a few words to say 1) he was never EVER coming back, and 2) to lie at court 6 weeks later that we had been separated for a period of 6 months or more.  Even though deep down I knew it was for the best, it was the disrespect and the lack of closure that left me reeling.

I was left feeling dirty and guilty ashamed for the disintegration of my marriage.  He left on another woman’s arm.

In addition to the abysmal divorce statistics, there are now more single women than married women in the U.S.  Huh.  Go figure.


6 thoughts on “Love and Hate….it’s a fine line

  1. Why is it that the person who is lied to, disrespected, and discarded the one who feels the shame? I did also, like I had done something wrong and all I had done was believe his lies and doubt my own gut instincts. How can it be wrong to believe the one you love when they say they love you?
    Putting love aside, how can people disrespect someone they have spent a major portion of their life with like that. Do they not think that the person is deserving of the respect of honesty? It is common courtesy. I have always felt that if you are that unhappy you want to cheat then get out of the relationship first; you owe the person that much, you owe yourself that much.
    I have been there, been the one tossed aside without a backwards glance, I don’t know how any one can be that cold hearted and I don’t understand how the new woman can feel it is ok to treat another woman that way. I do believe karma/God/powers that be will come to haunt them. How could you ever trust the person knowing they did that to their ex, history does repeat itself. The best indicator of the future is the past and if they can walk away from one they will do it again.

  2. Marriage is just not a priority for women anymore. I have been with the same guy for 12 yrs and I have no interest in getting married. It feels like I would be giving something up that belongs to me. Love is tough and its not so cut and dry. Is there a such thing as a prince charming or true love? I think its all just fantasy.

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