Take your life back


Yet another young actor has taken his own life.  It seems to be pandemic lately.  Drug overdose, hanging, self-inflicted gunshot wound.  Any way you look at it, it means a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Is something or someone worth paying the ultimate price?  I must be honest here.  I have had thoughts on the subject myself, especially when my husband cheated on me and left me.  I think everyone has had those thoughts.  Luckily, most of us get help or work our way out of situation.

I’m not necessarily talking about teenagers, who sometimes are impulsive and don’t realize that their attempt may be successful.  They may be seeking attention more than they are seeking death.

It’s the recent headlines of young adults, in their 20’s/30’s, that are most concerning right now.  From the drug overdoses of Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson and Cory Monteith (which I believe were accidental but playing with drugs is playing with fire), to the most recent deaths of Gia from the Bachelor and former Disney star Lee Thompson Young, who had a promising career on Rizzoli and Isles.

From the outside it seemed these people had everything to live for.  On the inside it must have been a different story.  To be desperate enough, in that much pain, to think you must end it all, that is serious business.  If only they gave themselves one more chance.  If they only knew how much they were loved, or how many people would mourn them.  The loss of a life is always hard to deal with.  How does a family reconcile that death with it’s suicide? The Catholic Church used to state that suicide was a sin, and that persons committing suicide could not have a Catholic service and burial. However, the Church has since changed this point of view, especially if the person was not in their right mind.  But for the family, there is shame, there is guilt, feelings of what more could they have done?  If the suicidee intended to make a statement with their death, well they sure do, with emotions that live on when they don’t.  The parents, the spouses, the children….how do they deal with the fact that their loved one purposely left them?  Is that REALLY what the person intended?  It almost seems selfish, in a weird way, but then again suicide is not a normal thing.  It’s the ones left behind that suffer the most.

I wish that before every important decision in life is made, you must pass a test or have a waiting period.  Too many things are done on impulse, whether it be shopping, marriage, divorce, cheating, stealing, murder, and death.  Too bad we can’t stop the world for a few minutes to rethink our actions.  So many times we have buyers /sellers remorse.  We could use a grace period for everything, especially suicide.  If you make a bad purchase, it is eventually paid off.  If you take your own life, it is forever.


6 thoughts on “Take your life back

  1. Well said, Jan. It’s very sad and hardest on those left behind. As you mention, suicide has a very selfish aspect to it. When a person is so depressed or angry or utterly hopeless, the nature of the beast is totally self-centered. (I say that not to pass judgement, but as a fact of the matter.) … I’ve been at such a point now and then over my lifetime, but haven’t acted on it, thankfully. As you’ve said, I think it’s a very human experience everyone has at some point. What’s so hard is at such times we need other people to help pull us up, but instead we isolate. We need to plan for such times, plan on how to take care of ourselves; easier said than done. … Thanks for writing so eloquently and well about tough topics.

    • Thank you. This is indeed a tough topic, but as you say, we need to plan for such times! I seem to write about a variety of topics, whatever happens to catch my eye or pushes my buttons! Thank you for reading and commenting, it validates my writing!

  2. As some one who tried and failed I honestly didn’t think about how I would hurt my son and family; I was in too much pain. I thought he would be better off than worrying about me. Life looked so hopeless and bleak with no way to fix it. It took a year and 1/2 before I was truly happy I was alive. Now my life is wonderful but at that time I just felt so absolutely hopeless. I tried to talk people how I was feeling but no one listened. I would say I just can’t do it any more. I want to die. I just want to kill myself. And I got platitudes and told to just get over it, its darkest before the storm,

    • I hear you Carrie, I felt that way for a little bit, and it took me a long time to get better. People sometimes don’t want to talk about this, it is too uncomfortable for them. I’m glad you are better 🙂

      • Your right, people are uncomfortable with the topic of suicide. Good on ya for bringing it up. I try to be open about it, it is not a shame filled thing. Until people get more comfortable talking about it, it will continue to be prevalent in society. I can well imagine how someone famous feels when they are seriously depressed. They aren’t going to get a whole lot of sympathy.

  3. I wrote this blog because it seems like so many of our young people are doing this! Of course we only read about the famous ones, I can’t imagine how many there really are. It’s like Lindsay Lohan, she LOOKS better, but who knows, she has been to rehab so many times, can she ever really be cured of her addiction? And will her addiction kill her? Let’s just say I would not be surprised. And that is a shame.

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