Single for the Season


I’m not sure if I would classify myself as single or not, but my so-called boyfriend left the week before Christmas to go to Texas and visit his daughter and granddaughter, and won’t be back until after the New Year.

And I’m perfectly ok with that, except for one thing.  We never discussed it.  At all.  I only found out he was going to be gone when we were talking about our monthly get together.  He lives a few hours away, and we usually meet up once a month or so at a casino or hotel.  We were talking about Christmas presents, and I said that since I hadn’t been paid from work for over a month that I didn’t have a lot of cash to spend on gifts.  I jokingly suggested we should skip gift giving to each other, but was really hoping he would protest.  It was a test of sorts.  He is retired, and gets a nice pension and social security, but acts as though he is destitute.  It kinda bothers me, because I’m sure he still has his First Communion money tucked away.  I don’t “get” cheap people.  I am glad he has a nice retirement package.  He actually makes more money now than when he was working.  He basically has no bills, he lives in very small but paid off house.    But he complains about every cent he has to spend.  He will actually drive an extra hour to get to my house because he refuses to pay tolls to the state of Illinois!  But I digress.  Back to the original conversation.

So he said sure, let’s skip the gifts.  In fact let’s just skip our December get together, I have decided to go to Texas for a few weeks.  We’ll just see each other in January.

What was I to say?  No, don’t go spend the holidays with your daughter and granddaughter, even though you just drove there a few weeks ago for Thanksgiving?  With your ex-wife in tow?  And didn’t call or text me for 5 days?  Obviously he FAILED the test.

We basically had our first fight after Thanksgiving.  He leaves with his ex-wife and I don’t hear from him for 5 days.  When he finally got back and texted me, I took my sweet time in responding.  He got the idea pretty quick that I wasn’t pleased.

I actually seriously thought about using that as an excuse to end the relationship.  I have had thoughts about doing it before, because I don’t really love him, as he professes to love me.  I like him, and enjoy his company for the most part, but he is VERY different from me.  In most every way.  Granted, we were next door neighbors for a while a long, long time ago, and both attended Catholic schools, but that’s basically where our similarities end.  He is older, I like younger.  He is sloppy, I am OCD clean.  He is grumpy, I am smiley.  He is cheap, I am frugal (there IS a difference!).  He is a male chauvinist, I am a feminist.  He is a red neck, I am yuppie.  He is a drinker, I am a not.  He is stubborn, I am a facilitator.  He sent me a picture of his son, and his ex-wife was also pictured.  Not like me in ANY way.  In fact, I would be embarrassed to show the photo to people because I wouldn’t want to be lumped into a class of what he considered to be wife material.  And he actually thought that the reason I was mad after Thanksgiving was because of his ex-wife.  Ummm, no.  I’ve seen her picture.  Please.

Now, he does have many good qualities.  He is a gentleman, and generally is very sweet to me, and sends me flowers on special occasions (except this one).

But.  (Isn’t there always a but?)  What good is it to have a boyfriend when you are left alone on major holidays, and New Year’s Eve??????  I mean really.  At least have a conversation about it.  I was going to ask him if he wanted to come visit for Christmas when he dropped the Texas bomb on me.  He has been to my home three times for visits.  I have never been invited to his.  Probably because he knows it is not fit for visitors.  He admits straight out to being lazy and never cleaning his house.  (Ick).

So, I think his actions this time have spoken louder than any words he could have chosen to say, but didn’t.  It’s time to say goodbye.  Or say nothing.  Am I wrong?  Am I a bitch?  Am I too picky?  Sigh.  Trust me, he will have no clue that his actions have led to this.

Just not the right Mike.  None of them are.


5 thoughts on “Single for the Season

  1. You did ask so I am going to give you my opinion.
    You are short changing yourself big time!!!
    If you don’t want anything serious ever and like the idea of only ever having a once a month romp unless something better comes along that is your business but from the description you just gave and the scenario I think you want more and as long as you are “settling” for less that is what you are going to get.
    I say cut the guy loose, tell him to have a nice life and be available to men who will appreciate you and want to make you their priority.
    You deserve it.

  2. I would run in the opposite direction, I agree with your reader Carrie on that one. You’re way too good to settle on a person who is almost opposite from you in every single way? You’ve made your case yourself for backing away. There is someone out there, This guy isn’t him and you don’t sound very happy, but maybe you’re trying but you shouldn’t HAVE to TRY to be happy! he should make that smile of yours shine 24 hours a day, 12 months a year, not 11.
    He is giving you warning signs left and right and they are SCREAMING at you. Love you girl. Now listen with your soul to what you”re heart already knows.

    • Yep, already made up my mind, just writing it all down helped me realize lots of things. Although I did tell the story without his side, and I have been the one keeping him at arm’s length throughout. but for good reasons, lol.

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