Am I being rude to be offended by rudeness?

rude

Rude.  Rudeness.  A tricky word(s) to define.  Wikipedia defines it primarily as such:

“Rudeness (also called impudence or effrontery) is a display of disrespect by not complying with the social “laws” or etiquette of a group or culture. These laws have been established as the essential boundaries of normally accepted behavior. To be unable or unwilling to align one’s behavior with these laws known to the general population of what is socially acceptable is to be rude.”

Disrespect.  I had a boss who told me constantly that I was disrespectful to him if I didn’t agree with every word he said, especially in the realm of his over-the-top politics.  I felt that he was rude for even interjecting his maniac opinions into the workplace.

Inconsiderate. Insensitive. Impolite. Bad manners.  Inappropriate behavior or dress code.

Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by rudeness.  And so many times I am offended by it, and want to say something rude about the whole situation.

If a child back talks to me or another adult, I want to say something to them or the parent to let them know it is offensive, and downright rude.  But that just gets me into trouble.  I watch and see how these kids manipulate everyone in their path, and their parents just ignore the behavior, thereby reinforcing it.  But it would be rude for me to say something about their rudeness.  I am not their parent, therefore I have no right to say anything.

If I’m with a group of people, and somebody says something rude, or does something rude, I feel as though I have to bite my tongue, because to call them out for it would be rude.  Again, it would be rude for me to say something about their rudeness.

If somebody cuts me off in traffic, it is rude for me to give them a rude gesture, because they would just give me a ruder one back.  One big giant circle.  Just perpetuating the rudeness.

If you spend a large amount of time getting ready to go to a fancy function, and someone else doesn’t, and looks inappropriate for the occasion, I think that is rude. But just say something and people get all offended.

And sometimes people say I am rude, for pointing out the truth.  Most people can’t handle the truth, seriously.  They think I am rude for even making the statement.  They just wanna continue to live in their own little paper doll world.  Just pretend nothing bad ever happens.

My sister says my mouth gets me into trouble all the time.  And it does, I will admit it.  I speak my mind, and sometimes it sounds rude.  And sometimes I mean it to sound differently but it comes out wrong, which is rude in itself.  I think I was shut up for so long in my younger days that now the damn has burst and I can’t stop it, lol.   Again, one big giant circle.

I just think that social manners have gone by the wayside.  When I was growing up, in the Catholic school system, we were tortured   taught manners and politeness by the nuns, who were still allowed to beat teach us how to behave even if our parents didn’t.  And at home if we talked back, we got a swift slap across the face to knock some sense back into us.  Now, I’m certainly not advocating this, but I think the pendulum has swung back too far the other way when it comes to raising your children.  Even as a parent you are not allowed to touch them.  There should be a happy medium.  You shouldn’t have to beat a child to get them to behave, but they should have a tiny bit of fear of consequences and whole lot of respect inside them for other people.

I would love to hear YOUR opinions on this, especially parents!

 

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2 thoughts on “Am I being rude to be offended by rudeness?

  1. As a lot of people raised in my generation my father confused fear with respect and I don’t agreed with that. I think many parent didn’t want their children to fear them so they treated them like equals and I don’t agree with that either. I am not saying all young people are disrespectful because they aren’t but many children today aren’t taught common courtesy and respect and are only concerned with their own agenda. Kids need guidance, that is what parents are for, to teach their kids to be responsible citizens. I raised my son to call his elders Mr and Mrs as a show of respect and he has always been very respectful of everyone and I didn’t have to beat it into him. I remember when I went to court with him over a charge of passing bad money, the cop came up to me and said she knew he was from a good home because she had never arrested a more polite kid and was really pleased to see my son had turned his life around.
    He is 30 now and far from a kid but I watch how he treats others and he is very respectful without letting anyone walk all over him.
    a few years ago I was riding the bus and a group of young guys got on and they were obviously very excited about where they were going and talking excitedly. I was enjoying their exuberance. Then an old man got on and sat in the seat in front of me and started grumbling about how rude the younger generation is these days. Finally after grumbling for 10 minutes he said something to the boys about being so rude because when he walked on the bus none of them gave up their seat for him. He was not disabled, he was just old. Immediately one of the boys got up and moved to the back of the bus but the old guy still grumbled, The kid was obviously embarrassed and his buddies were teasing him, then a woman with a baby got on and the boys made room for her to sit at the front and yet the old guy grumbled on. The next stop an old East Indian man with a cane got on and again the boys went to move and he motioned for them to stay where they were and sat beside me. I could see on his face he was enjoying their exuberance like I was and when one of them dropped something the East Indian man picked it up and tapped one boy on the shoulder. The boy obviously thought he was going to get shit until the man handed him the item and smiled. The first old guy was still grumbling when he got off the bus and I am sure he told every one he met how rude the younger generation is but he was the only rude person on that bus that day

  2. Rudeness, what a great topic. I’m afraid to get started on it, though, because I can feel my heartbeat increase and my stomach churn as I begin to think about it. It’s a crossing of boundaries. There are personal boundaries and societal boundaries. Boundaries are about respect and needs. There’s a balance between my needs, your needs and society’s needs. Children who don’t have a good model of healthy boundaries, who aren’t taught about balancing courtesy with their needs, are handicapped for life and hurt themselves and others. What I want to know is, how to keep my self-respect and maintain my own boundaries when someone rudely crosses mine.

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