Toxic Tears

tearA tear is not just a tear.  There are many different types of tears, some that most people are not aware of.  Basal tears lubricate the eye, keep it clear of dust, and fights against bacterial infection.  Then there are reflux tears, that happen when you get something in your eye, eat something hot, cough, vomit, or other reflex to an irritant.  The last kind of tears are my favorite (NOT), the physic tears, when you cry, or in my case, sob, when you are extremely sad, or even happy. Any strong emotion can bring on these tears.

These are my toxic tears.  They leave me a sobbing mess, with red swollen eyes and horrible headache.  I thought it was just me, but now I find out that toxic tears really are different from other tears.  They have a different chemical make-up.  They contain protein-based hormones, some of which are supposed to make you feel better (happy tears) but usually make me feel worse.  I think it makes me feel worse because of all the running of the nose etc.  It clogs up my nasal passages and gives me a horrid sinus headache!

At my old job, my boss used to love to rip into me first thing in morning, leaving me a sobbing mess at my desk, while he took off for the day.  I would be forced to stay there for the next 8-12 hours with a raging headache and red swollen eyes that could hardly look at my computer screen.  Way to make an employee be effective at her job, eh?  He did it on purpose, at least twice a week.  That was his way of showing off his manhood.  He suffered from a variety of personality flaws, narcissism being one of the main ones, after “little man” syndrome, and I’m not talking about his height!

Paxil, counseling and a good lawyer helped me dry up my tears, and he did ultimate lose his battle against me.  Karma’s a bitch, let me tell you.

I haven’t cried much since.  Don’t need the Paxil or anything anymore.  Even through all my pain and suffering with my back problems and hip surgeries, I kept smiling.  Nobody was yelling at me, why should I cry?  People were helping me, so I smiled at all of them.  Made for a much better day for me, and for them.

Do you have toxic tears?  I would love to hear your story!


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