When does it change?

bleeding heartThe grand daddy of Hallmark holidays is right around the corner.  Valentine’s Day.  So many people will be happy, get engaged, get married.  So many people will swear their vows in front of God and man to stay in love forever.

So when does it change?  Does it always change?  Does it have to change?

It usually does change.  Sometimes for the better.  Statistically for the worse.  The blush wears off the rose after a while.  Those little things that were so cute about your partner now just bug the hell out of you.  You start being nicer to strangers than them.  The grass looks so much greener on the other side.

I remember one young couple I talked to shortly after my first divorce.  They were SOOOO in love.  They were NEVER going to say a nasty thing to each other.  Nothing would ever come between them.  They weren’t going to become a statistic.  They couldn’t imagine life without each other.  I sarcastically said “Yeah, good luck with that, come talk to me in 10 years”.  Well, ten years later, they were separated and living apart, after a gaggle of kids came along and blew apart their perfect little world.  No more sleeping in till noon every weekend.  No more staying up late cuddling on the couch.  No more vacations.  No more money.  Their lives changed around them, and it wasn’t what they expected.  I felt so guilty about saying that, or thinking that, ten years prior.  Sometimes having stars in your eyes are a GOOD thing, and hopefully nobody will erase those stars over the years!

Sometimes, I wish people could just experience what it is REALLY like on the other side, just so they learn to appreciate what they DO have.  It is too easy to just walk away, it seems.

I do have a lot of friends who have made it long term, and are still in a loving relationship.  I take my hat off to them, because it is hard work to raise a family, have a career, and still have date nights.  I wonder what makes them different from the ones who don’t make it.

Liquor, I bet. Ha!

So this Valentine’s Day, make someone’s day special, and MEAN it this time!

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