My world in 3 feet or less

A little while ago I posted something about losing body freedom when you are sick. The worst of it is the 3 foot circumference that make up your entire world. If it is within that space, great. If it is not, it is lost to you until someone helps you.

That’s a tough pill to swallow if you are an independent woman. Through the pain and haze of surgery, you are helpless. Totally helpless. You whole existence depends upon people who will feed you, water you, change you, help you go to the bathrrom. How degrading.

After a few days you feel a little better, but you are still a prisoner in your own bed. You cannot bend, you cannot move your leg, you flop around like a fish in a drained pond. If you are cold, you stay cold. If you are hot, you stay hot. If you drop your TV remote, you watch the same channel. If you lose your bed remote, you stay in one position. And if you lose your call button, you stay this way for all eternity.

Nursing homes/rehab facilities are great. You go there to get better. And you do. However most of them are understaffed, and if you need immediate attention, you must learn patience. Sometimes it’s hard to do, if it’s an “emergency”. Other times you can wait for a half hour, no big deal. But being left on a commode for a half hour is not fun, nor is waiting for blanket or whatever. So you learn to write lists, and when you do see a nurse, you get all your needs taken care of at once. Nothing worse than pushing that call button right away again!

I am now a bit past the 3 foot phase. I am able, with help, to get out of bed and into a wheelchair. Feels like heaven. Still have a long way to go. But I’m getting there.

BUT. If this infection doesn’t go away with one round, and I have to do this all over again, all bets are off!


2 thoughts on “My world in 3 feet or less

  1. Dear Janet,

    I am so sorry to hear about the physical and medical challenges you are facing right now. I hope that you will recover well, and I applaud your sense of humor and optimism as you go through that journey.

    I have been reading What a Woman is Worth and I was deeply touched by your story. The pain and rejection you went through is abominable.

    My gut reaction was to sweep you away from your abusers, hug you close to me and tell you that you are loved, you are precious, you are uniquely gifted, and you are worthy – of love, and of all things beautiful. I also felt like slapping your abusers upside the head and saying to them, “what the F do you think you are doing, you slime balls, for treating this precious girl in any way other than as a cherished child of God?!”

    You are a woman – and were a girl – of amazing strength, perseverance, and courage. You have achieved so much – and to have done so without the love, support, and encouragement that most people need – is nothing short of miraculous.

    Surely you are NOT a mistake in God’s eyes. He has given you an amazing strength of character, and I am in awe.

    May you be healed in all the ways you need to be, and may you carry on to do all the things God has planned for you, and to touch all the hearts that need to hear your voice and be inspired by your life.

    Julie Lunardo (Tamara’s mom)

    • Julie, bless you, I really needed that inspiration from you! It has been hard for me in this rehab room for the past 3 weeks with many weeks to go. So thank you!

      I loved ALL the stories in Tamara’s book, she is a fabulous woman!

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