My glass is half full!

glass

So if my glass is half full, why am I not excited?

I had my aspiration surgery yesterday, which is yet another step in this wonderful hip removal/replacement process. I need a diagram chart to map out what all the possible paths are. So far, I have had
1. Infected hip removed
2. Antibiotic spacers inserted
3. 6 weeks of IV antibiotic therapy in a nursing home
4. 2 weeks of waiting period at home with NO antibiotics to see if infection is gone
5. Aspiration surgery where they insert a large needle into the hip bone joint and take samples, and also tissue samples, and culture them to see if any infection grows.

So this is where I am currently at. I guess over the years I have always expected the worst, because that is what usually happens to me. Just the mere fact that the brand new hip implant done a year ago was infected within the first five days proves my point. Only happens to 0.05% Lucky me! I fought the good fight for a year with multiple surgeries and at home IV therapies and months of antibiotics to no available. And, even now, it’s not all sunshine and lollipops. With these last 5 procedures, here’s what has happened:
1. They tried for hours to remove my stake from my femur bone and finally had to break it open and cut out a large window and use saws to get it out and then put a metal cage around the femur with zip ties to hold it all together.
2. The antibiotic spacer floats with the femur and pops and grinds every time I move my leg. Sometimes it hurts cause it is “out of joint”. Most times it doesn’t.
3. 6 weeks flat on my back, the first few were awful as I was 100% dependent on nurses for EVERYTHING. My dignity suffered the most I think, even more than the awful pain.
4. 2 weeks at home was GREAT but I miscalculated how difficult it would be to take care of myself 100%, and especially with a walker on plush carpet and not hard floors. It was not a fun time, and I think I have used up all my the goodwill from my sister for the rest of my life.
5. Aspiration surgery went ok, my leg is a bit sore today but that is to be expected.

On the way home from the hospital, I actually WENT TO A RESTURANT! My favorite breakfast restaurant, The Point, on Rt 41 and Rt 21 is on the way home and I begged my sister as it is great for handicapped people, easy in easy out. So I had IRISH EGGS BENEDICT AND PANCAKES! It was the best breakfast ever, and my sister said her omlette was the best ever. So I can’t believe I got to eat out! It was so awesome, I wanted to cry. Instead I stuffed my face, lol.

I laid down when I got home, and the phone rang about 5 and I almost didn’t answer. Luckily I did, as it was my ortho surgeon. He said he wanted to call with good news so I wasn’t worrying so much over the weekend. My blood test numbers looked good! Sed rate (ESR) and CRP and WBC were all within normal range! He said to call back early next week, as we still have to wait to see if anything bad grows in the cultures. Also need to repeat blood tests on Friday. If all is good, I get my new hip June 13th.

So all that is great, right? Why do I keep looking up waiting for the shoe to drop on my head? I guess I won’t feel 100% comfortable till it is all over and done with. So many things could still go wrong between now and then.

I am NOT being NEGATIVE. I am seriously trying to stay POSITIVE. I am GRATEFUL for all the help I have received, especially from my sister. I have wonderful friends and family who have sent cards, food, prayers, hugs….you name it. I have dodged a big bullet with this latest news, so maybe my luck has finally changed.

THANK YOU GOD and please let me continue down this road. I will NEVER take simple things for granted again.

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Here kitty kitty, here kitty!

Ozzy grass My Ozzy cat has been a bad boy. Last week Thursday my sister came over and when she left she didn’t latch the screen door, and the big door was open. Laying in bed I heard the door open and close. I got up as quick as I could and rolled my walker over to the stairs and sure enough spotted Ozzy out on the front porch. I didn’t know what to do, I had to get him before he ran away. I managed to hippity hop down the stairs and I opened the door and luckily he came right in. Then I had to drag my fat ass back up the stairs using only my arms on the raillings. Took a lot out of me. Then Friday nite I called and called Ozzy to come to bed and he never came, and he always does. I got up a couple time to look for him cause Izzy kept crying. I figured Ozzy must have gotten locked up in the basement, he has before. But then around 7 am I got worried and called my brother’s house and my SIL came over and searched the whole house, no Ozzy. So then she tells me she heard the sounds of an animals screeching it’s death throes about 1 am that night. I broke down sobbing, and she went out the sliding doors onto the deck, calling for him, and then I heard her say,, Ozzy you bad boy, she had him, he was under the stairs by the hot tub. He was a bit scared I could tell, and has stayed by my side all nights ever since. Like I don’t have enough to worry about!

How many spoons do you need?

spoon

Some time ago I heard a story about spoons, in regards to Crohn’s disease.  I don’t remember it exactly, and I’m going to apply it to my hip situation today.  It might help people understand what I am going through, or any people for that matter.  So here goes.

When you are sick, or don’t have a hip like me, you wake up every day with only a certain amount of energy, or spoons if you will, to get through the day. Every task, every chore, yea, every bit of entertainment costs you spoons. Some days you will wake up with more spoons than other days. Therefore, you must choose the use of your spoons wisely.

Today I woke up with 10 spoons. To get out of bed go to the kitchen and get coffee cost me one spoon. To make breakfast cost me another spoon. I got showered and dressed, that was probably more than one spoon. I talked to insurance companies and nurses. Another spoon. I am typing up this blog. Spoon.

Sigh. Here it is not even lunchtime and I’ve already used up 5 spoons. Only 5 more left to get me through the rest of the day and bedtime. I must be conservative with my spoons, because if I “borrow” a spoon from tomorrow for today, tomorrow will be that much more difficult.

So how many dang spoons do I really need? Well, when you are feeling good and able to do just about anything you want, you feel like you have an unlimited number of spoons. Me, I feel lucky that I have worked my way up to 10 spoons. Right after surgery I think I started out with only one spoon.

It is difficult to answer people when they ask how you feel, or how your day has been. I think this spoon analogy is an easy way to get people to realize how being handicapped in some way feels. Cause once your spoons are gone, they are gone dude. I don’t care how much you beg and plead and cry, there are no more spoons to be had. So learn your lesson and be more careful in how you spend your spoons tomorrow.

You never know how many spoons you will wake up with.
spoons