Childless

children

I was just thinking this morning about children.  More specifically, I was realizing how many of my friends are childless, along with myself.

Contrary to popular belief, I love children. My nieces and nephews have always been so dear to me, and I love them like my own.  I am SO lucky that my brother and sister live so close to me, and I get to see the kids so frequently.  I remember when my great niece Brianna was born, and I rushed home after work every day to just hold her, and feed her, and look into her beautiful eyes.  I remember thinking that as she looked around from the safety of my arms that she was going to be an adventurer.  She was planning just what she was going to do as soon as she was mobile.  I remember holding her as she discovered her hand, and was amazed by it.  I saw her first crawl, her first steps, her first words.  The transformation of kids is truly a miracle.  At almost 6 years old, she is bright and smart and stubborn and strong and going to rule the world!  Her vocabulary alone is unbelievable.  We read, we play games, we play with the Husky…she is on the move all day.  She wants to be a vet or doctor when she grows up, and she is perfect for it.  At the age of 3 and 4 she was changing my bloody bandages from my infected hip multiple times a day, and loving it.  She is now practicing her amputations and tumor removal techniques on me and the animals, thanks to Dr. Pol from Nat Geo Wild, lol.

I have SEVEN great nieces/nephews now, unbelievable.  They are so damn cute and smart and growing up way too fast.

Unfortunately, having my own child just wasn’t in the cards for me.  In my first marriage I had a miscarriage at a very early stage.  I also was very career oriented and had a very high stress job.  In my second marriage, I had 3 stepchildren, and I felt that my choice of having children was taken away from me.  We both had to work to afford the alimony and child support and day care and school and braces and health insurance etc.  If I had a child, I wanted to be able to stay at home for at least a year or two, and that wasn’t going to happen on just my husband’s salary.  About half his income went out the door every month to his ex-wife, which didn’t leave enough to start a second family with me.  I eventually ended up being a horrible stepmom because of horrible circumstances with my ex and his ex-wife.  I never got any of the advantages of being a mom, just all the shit.  I tried so hard, but then I gave up. It is my biggest regret in life that I didn’t overcome all the obstacles put in front of me during that time.  I failed.

If I had to do it all over again, would I have had a child?  I’m still not sure.  How about you?  Would you make the same decision again?  Child or no child?  I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

The British are coming! The British are coming!

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Yes they are, and they are currently in a theatre house near you.

Now, I certainly have nothing but admiration for the British, as I am almost all Brit heritage myself, but imagine my surprise when I noticed that most of the cast of Selma is British and so is the Screenplay writer!  Last time I checked, Martin Luther King, Jr. was American born and raised.  Have we no American actors to portray him?  I think we do.  I think we have plenty.

With that said, there are MANY British actors in American movies lately.  And Australian.  Oh and British includes England, Irish and Scotland 🙂

Alex Pettyfer, Theo James, Henry Cavill, Tom Hardy, Luke Evans, Charlie Hunnam, Robert Pattinson, Orlando Bloom, Jude Law, Joshua Bowman, Kit Harrington, Idris Elba, Nicholas Hoult, Andrew Garfield, Gerard Butler, Craig Ferguson, Sam Heughan (my 3 favorite Scots!), Christian Bale, Daniel Craig, Andrew Lincoln, Clive Owen, Benedict Cumberbatch, Daniel Radcliffe, to name just a few Brits.

Onto the Aussies…Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Hugh Jackman, Chris Hemsworth, Liam Hemsworth, Cate Blanchette, Sam Worthington, Geoffrey Rush, Jesse Spencer, Mel Gibson….

Ok my fingers are tired, I could go on and on.  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE all these actors!  And they all can speak perfect American!  lol  It’s so funny when you see an actor in a movie or TV show, and then you see an interview with them, and they are speaking the Queen’s English, and you never realized they weren’t American!

Now, if they are getting parts in American movies, than obviously they are better than the American actors that also audition, right?  I guess so.  But when you make a movie about an AMERICAN icon such as Martin Luther King Jr., I just think that maybe an AMERICAN should play him.

I mean, maybe we should have Meryl Streep play Queen Elizabeth rather than Helen Mirren.  Hmmm, not a good comparison, Meryl Streep can play ANYTHING, lol.  But you get my drift.

I know that being an actor means you can take on any persona and play it perfectly. But sometimes you just need home grown.

Of course, it also seems weird to me that in this day and age, we have straight actors playing gay parts, and gay actors playing straight parts.  We have enough of both of them, so why not let them play what comes natural to them?  I am a straight woman, and even if I was an actress, I would not be comfortable playing a gay woman.  I want my love scenes with a man dammit!  A perfect example of this is Matt Bomer.  Everybody was clamoring for him to play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey.  Yes, Matt is quite stunning in many ways, but he is first and foremost a gay man who is married to Simon Halls and has 3 children.  I myself wanted Ian Somerhalder, who is the most gorgeous man in the world to play Christian, but Jamie Dornan (Irish!) was chosen.  After seeing the promos, he will do just fine.  Jamie is straight, and gorgeous, and has those liquid eyes.  You know, those eyes you just melt into.  I believe I have spoken about liquid eyes in previous posts….

Okay, back to business.  Actors are actors and movies are movies, and we need one for the other.  But I feel we shouldn’t stray or stretch out further than actually needed to fill these roles.  I personally feel that an actor is more comfortable playing something closer to his actual real persona.  After Sons of Anarchy was over (boo hoo) I saw an interview with Charlie Hunnam who played Jax.  He is British, and he said it took him the whole first season to get comfortable with speaking with proper accent, and he really didn’t get into his role until the second season.  See what I mean?  Imagine having to speak a totally different type of jargon/accent etc., all the time, every word.  Gets tiring. Jolly good and all that other rot.  Throw another shrimp on the barbie.

Crikey, I can’t even understand the accents in our own U.S. of A. sometimes.  I go down south and I have no idea what people are saying, lol.  I don’t think they do either sometimes!  So many dialects, just in our own country!  It’s unbelievable how many different ways you can speak English!

So, carry on mate, don’t mean to be cheeky, off to bed I go before I lose the plot!

 

 

More than meets the eye

bradleyBy now most of us have seen this picture, or the trailer, of Bradley Cooper portraying Chris Kyle as a sniper.  Got to have a good eye to be a sniper.

Per his book, Chris Kyle was our country’s most prolific sniper, with 160 confirmed kills.  He was the deadliest sniper in American history. He had at least 160 confirmed kills by the Pentagon’s count, but by his own count—and the accounts of his Navy SEAL teammates—the number was closer to twice that. In his four tours of duty in Iraq, Kyle earned two Silver Stars and five Bronze Stars with Valor. He survived six IED attacks, three gunshot wounds, two helicopter crashes, and more surgeries than he could remember. He was known among his SEAL brethren as The Legend and to his enemies as al-Shaitan, “the devil.”

A “confirmed kill” means that the spotter who often accompanies the sniper can see the kill, and/or troops on the ground see the actual body.  That is why a sniper most likely has a lot more kills than the confirmed ones.

Chris Kyle died a tragic death, after his military career.  He was shot to death by a man he was trying to help.  Very sad, after all he had been through.

Bradley Cooper plays Chris Kyle in the movie American Sniper.  The picture is up for an Academy Award, and so is Bradley Cooper, deservedly so.

This role is a far cry from his comedic days of The Hangover movies.  He gained 30 pounds and beefed up to match Chris Kyle body type.  He learned all he could about snipers.  He worked closely with Clint Eastwood and Chris Kyle’s wife, Taya.

I have seen most, if not all, of Bradley Cooper’s movies.  There is more to him than meets the eye.  Yes, he is handsome.  Yes, he was “Sexiest Man Alive”.  Yes, he has great hair.  Yes, he is funny.  But did you know he has a B.A. in English from Georgetown, and an MFA in acting from the Actors Studio Drama School at The New School.  He was on the Georgetown rowing team.  He speaks fluent French.  He has starred on Broadway, several times.  He hasn’t drank alcohol since 2009.  He was married once for 4 months.  He has worn his father’s wedding ring since he took it off his finger on his deathbed and pledged to wear it forever.  He then moved in with his mom.  He has dated beautiful actresses.  He has a plethora of awards and nominations.

You know what?  He’s a pretty well-rounded guy!  Besides being pretty, lol.  He is tall, handsome, funny, smart….yes, he will do.  He will do just fine!

 

Where was our 40?

france

40 heads of state gathered in France after the Charlie Hebdo attack.  Obama and the U.S. took a lot of heat for not attending, even tho it was later pointed out that the “photo op” took place on a heavily guarded empty street.  The world leaders were NOT leading the rally by any stretch of the imagination.

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It was pointed out that many of the rally “leaders” did not have stellar records when it came to journalists.  Many had detained/imprisoned/assaulted and dare I say…killed….journalists.  But they showed up in force to rally round Paris.  Free press.  Good press.  Je Suis Hypocrite (I am hypocrite) indeed!

Obama was slammed from many quarters for not going, or sending a delegate or delegation.  So it got me to thinking……did other countries come to a rally in the U.S. after 9/11?  Or after the Boston Marathon Massacre?  Which is more comparable, I think.  I don’t recall a world wide rally of leaders coming.  I could be wrong, I know that many world leaders paid their respects to us after 9/11 and condemned terrorism, and that France was first.  In retrospect, I’m sure that Obama wishes he had gone, or sent a delegation.  A Texas politician actually compared Obama to Hitler….to which he subsequently apologized for, of course.

Meanwhile, this was Charlie Hebdo’s new cover 2 days after the killings, which included 4 cartoonists.

France3This picture features the Prophet Mohammed, with a caption “All is forgiven”.

The cartoonist who drew the image, Luz, explained his work in an interview translated by Slate:

With this cover, we wanted to show that at any given moment, we have the right to do anything, to redo anything, and to use our characters the way we want to. Mohammed has become a character, in spite of himself, a character in the news, because there are people who speak on his behalf. This is a cover aimed at intelligent people, who are much more numerous than you think, whether they’re atheists, Catholics, Muslims…

 

A Charlie Hebdo columnist, Zineb El Rhazoui, told the BBC that the staff didn’t want to show hatred towards the terrorists responsible for the massacre. She urged Muslims to accept the humor.

 

Well.  I am not sure how I feel about all this.  This was indeed a terrible tragedy.  Many people compare it to our 9/11.  I don’t think it is measurable in that way.  I do think it shows that terrorism is everywhere.  I do think it makes me afraid.  Very afraid.

 

And while some may say that the magazine is very brave to continue their style of satire, I would think it’s like poking a bear.

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You get paid the big bucks

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I remember when I worked at a small manufacturing company.  I was part of Management, and we had lots of hourly workers who ran machines in the plant.  There was one cafeteria that was shared by all.

Being a social person, I was friendly with everyone, no matter what their position.  I enjoyed talking with them at break time etc.

A couple of people started to tease me/joke with me about how I had a nice office and good job and made the “big bucks”.  It didn’t really bother me at first, but then I got to thinking about it.

One day, when someone made the usual comment, I looked right at their table and said, “Well, if you want to put yourself through 4 years of college by working until midnight every day your junior and senior year of high school, and then working 40 hours a week away at college while going to classes, be my guest.  Then get a job at a Fortune 100 company and work on average 60 hours a week while going to grad school, taking a double load of classes and summer school, to get your MBA.  Then fight your way out of an abusive alcoholic boss situation at work and end up here.  When you’re done with all that, then come to me and say you want the big bucks too.  By then you will have earned it.”

There was silence for a few moments.  Most people probably assumed I came from a wealthy family who sent me to college and gave me everything I needed.  Nope.  Not the case at all.  I worked for every dime, took out school loans, repaid them immediately, and never had any of the luxuries at school that my friends did.  I joined a sorority mainly because it was cheaper to live there than at the dorms.  Most of my sorority sisters would call up daddy on the phone to replenish their checking accounts.  Not me.  I was out working.  I worked at the local Burger King as the night shift manager, doing scheduling and bookkeeping etc.  Then I got a full time job working for the Comptroller of the university, who let me leave to go to class.  He was a great boss, and I am indebted to him forever.

Anyway, I got a great education, and I feel good about how I got it.  Nobody handed it to me on a silver platter.  I did have lots of fun in college, I mean, I was in a sorority, hello!  And I worked my ass off in grad school, and got great grades.  I am PROUD of myself for these accomplishments.  I got them on my own.

I wish that some people would take the initiative to do this instead of complaining about their dead end minimum wage jobs, or being too lazy to do anything.  I wish some parents would kick their kid’s butts in gear, instead of babying them.  Even though I wish my parents had been able to afford to send me to college, they actually did me a favor by making me work for what I wanted.

Cause that’s how you make the big bucks.  You EARN them.

 

Say hello for me…..

Dear Uncle George,

You passed away a few days ago, in the presence of your loving wife and daughter.  Today is your wake, tomorrow your funeral.  I like to think you are looking down at your family right now, with loving eyes.

You lived a good long life.  87 years old I think.  You were such a great husband, father, grandfather, uncle, friend.  I will always remember you as the kindest, most gentle man I knew.  You always had a smile on your face, and gave the best hugs.

I have so many great memories of you.  I remember our vacations at the cottage every summer with the whole Massey clan.  They didn’t call it a Massey parade for nothing!  You built that cottage with your own hands, it was sturdy and so fun.  I remember the bunk beds in the kid room, lol.  I grew up in the midst of loving aunts, uncles and cousins.  And Grandma Massey of course.  Two weeks every summer.  I looked forward to it all year.

I don’t know many families that still call their cousins their best friends.  We still vacation together, lol.  I wish all kids would do the same, they don’t know what they are missing!

I have cousins I can call after 6 months and just pick up where we left off.  I consider my aunts and uncles my mom and dad, since mine passed away so soon.  My dad has been gone for 35 years (!) and my mom for 12 I think.

I used to go to Florida when you, Uncle George, and Aunt Kathleen lived in Hollywood.  You were always so good to me, and we would have so much fun together.  We would sit on the lanai and talk talk talk!  I always loved Hollywood Beach, and I will remember those days with you there forever.

I am so happy I got to see you last December at the Abel’s wedding.  I got to see ALL my aunts and uncles and cousins, and it meant so much to me.

I am so happy you got to see your youngest daughter get married this November.  You made it, all the way back to Hollywood, from Ohio.  It was a big deal for you and Aunt Kath, and you made it.  I am so glad.  And your daughter was so glad.

You have such great kids.  They have been so wonderful to me all my life.  I vacationed with them, I have fun with them.  I still do, and hope to continue to do so for a very long time.

I will miss you, Uncle George.  Say hi to Barb, my mom and dad, Uncle Bill, and everybody else that welcomed into you heaven.  Someday we will all be together again, vacationing under the loving eyes of God, for eternity.

God Bless.  Rest in peace.

Love, Janny

It’s all about that Chris

american

Chris Evans just won the People’s Choice award for best action hero.  Captain America.  Cool.

Lately I have noticed a number of Chris’s that I just love.  Besides Chris Evans, there’s Chris Pine (Star Trek)…

pine

God, those eyes….  Then there is Thor, Chris Hemsworth….

thorAgain with the eyes!  And let’s not forget our Guardian of the Galaxy, Chris Pratt!

prattOk, so I guess all these Chris’s are pretty awesome.  All blue-eyed.  Stunning blue eyes.  Rocking bods.  Super heroes, all!

Which one is YOUR favorite?  eeny meeny miney mo…..

Chris Evans is Captain America, a little too clean cut for me.  Gotta dirty him up a bit.  Chris Hemsworth makes a great Thor, and love the Australian accent, but not a huge fan of the blond hair.  Chris Pratt, now there’s a down to earth guy, who didn’t start out looking exactly like this, but that’s what’s cool about him!  But, because of the eyes, it’s all about the eyes….

I choose……Chris Pine!  Those eyes are just….too…much….to….resist.

 

 

Self Shaming

tsk

Do you ever make a bonehead move and shame yourself?  I do.  All the time.

Just yesterday I was at a stoplight, and I turned right on red, when there was left lane turners going through.  I caught myself in time, and then apologized to the other drivers with the universal sign of shrugging my shoulders and putting my hands out while shame smiling.

Yes.  Shame smiling.  The universal sign for I’m an idiot!  Smiling with lips tight together and kind of goofy grimace, to show what a dufus we are at times.

Sometimes we are just on auto pilot and not paying attention to what we are doing, like we should.  I think a lot of accidents are caused this way.  That, and TEXTING WHILE DRIVING!  I can tell you EXACTLY what drivers are texting as I drive behind them, as they are weaving on down the road.  Sometimes I beep my horn at them to get their attention.  They look at me in their rear view and give me the universal sign for “what?”  With wide eyes and hands out.  I then will waving my cell phone at them and give them the universal sign for no texting.  The tsk tsk motion.  Then the driver will typically give me the universal sign for F*&$* You!  You know, the middle finger salute.  I usually then wave gaily at them.  The universal sign for whatever, have a nice day!

I think I’m going to try and concentrate more on what task I’m currently doing, so I don’t have to tsk tsk myself.  Otherwise I’m going to have to post pictures, like the dog shaming ones.  In fact, I did post one of cat shaming, for my Ozzy and Izzy, last year.

Shame on ME!  lol

She’s a good girl, she deserves it

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Over the past few years, I have heard several men utter this phrase to me, on why they finally decided to marry their girlfriend.  Like they passed a test and were finally deemed worthy enough to marry.  Many of these couples had been together a LONG time…..

Wait, what?  Seriously?  Like it is totally up to the MAN to decide whether or not we were a GOOD girl and DESERVE to marry them?

I think they could see my brain turning somersaults behind my eyes, because all of them quickly changed the subject or walked away.  As they should.  Before I really could build up a head of steam.

Maybe it’s because I have tried marriage, and failed miserably at it.  Maybe it’s because I have always been an independent woman and never “dependent” upon a man to “complete” me, or support me.  Maybe it’s because I believe marriage should be a fifty/fifty deal, all the way around.  Maybe it’s because I could never consider marrying, let alone living with, a man who thought that way.  Maybe they don’t mean the way it sounds…..

It’s patronizing.  Like patting a pet on the head, and saying “oh you’re a good girl, now here’s a bone”.

Maybe they really mean “what an AMAZINGLY wonderful woman I have found, and I can’t WAIT to marry her!  What GOOD fortune for a DESERVING fellow like me!  But somehow I doubt it.

I think the holidays really got to me this year.  I think I have mentioned before how in my next life I am coming back as a man, so I can just show up everywhere empty-handed and nothing is expected of me.  No cooking, cleaning, gifting….just call me when dinner is ready and then I will go back to laying on the couch.  Not saying that EVERY man is like this.  I guess I get prickly about this because I don’t think it is fair.  I see women/wives/mothers doing way more than their fair share too often.

Blah.  I think I will stay single.  And stay home.