Over the past few years, I have heard several men utter this phrase to me, on why they finally decided to marry their girlfriend. Like they passed a test and were finally deemed worthy enough to marry. Many of these couples had been together a LONG time…..
Wait, what? Seriously? Like it is totally up to the MAN to decide whether or not we were a GOOD girl and DESERVE to marry them?
I think they could see my brain turning somersaults behind my eyes, because all of them quickly changed the subject or walked away. As they should. Before I really could build up a head of steam.
Maybe it’s because I have tried marriage, and failed miserably at it. Maybe it’s because I have always been an independent woman and never “dependent” upon a man to “complete” me, or support me. Maybe it’s because I believe marriage should be a fifty/fifty deal, all the way around. Maybe it’s because I could never consider marrying, let alone living with, a man who thought that way. Maybe they don’t mean the way it sounds…..
It’s patronizing. Like patting a pet on the head, and saying “oh you’re a good girl, now here’s a bone”.
Maybe they really mean “what an AMAZINGLY wonderful woman I have found, and I can’t WAIT to marry her! What GOOD fortune for a DESERVING fellow like me! But somehow I doubt it.
I think the holidays really got to me this year. I think I have mentioned before how in my next life I am coming back as a man, so I can just show up everywhere empty-handed and nothing is expected of me. No cooking, cleaning, gifting….just call me when dinner is ready and then I will go back to laying on the couch. Not saying that EVERY man is like this. I guess I get prickly about this because I don’t think it is fair. I see women/wives/mothers doing way more than their fair share too often.
Blah. I think I will stay single. And stay home.