She’s a good girl, she deserves it


Over the past few years, I have heard several men utter this phrase to me, on why they finally decided to marry their girlfriend.  Like they passed a test and were finally deemed worthy enough to marry.  Many of these couples had been together a LONG time…..

Wait, what?  Seriously?  Like it is totally up to the MAN to decide whether or not we were a GOOD girl and DESERVE to marry them?

I think they could see my brain turning somersaults behind my eyes, because all of them quickly changed the subject or walked away.  As they should.  Before I really could build up a head of steam.

Maybe it’s because I have tried marriage, and failed miserably at it.  Maybe it’s because I have always been an independent woman and never “dependent” upon a man to “complete” me, or support me.  Maybe it’s because I believe marriage should be a fifty/fifty deal, all the way around.  Maybe it’s because I could never consider marrying, let alone living with, a man who thought that way.  Maybe they don’t mean the way it sounds…..

It’s patronizing.  Like patting a pet on the head, and saying “oh you’re a good girl, now here’s a bone”.

Maybe they really mean “what an AMAZINGLY wonderful woman I have found, and I can’t WAIT to marry her!  What GOOD fortune for a DESERVING fellow like me!  But somehow I doubt it.

I think the holidays really got to me this year.  I think I have mentioned before how in my next life I am coming back as a man, so I can just show up everywhere empty-handed and nothing is expected of me.  No cooking, cleaning, gifting….just call me when dinner is ready and then I will go back to laying on the couch.  Not saying that EVERY man is like this.  I guess I get prickly about this because I don’t think it is fair.  I see women/wives/mothers doing way more than their fair share too often.

Blah.  I think I will stay single.  And stay home.


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