September 11, 2001…..what where YOU doing? Redux 9/11/19

towers1

Wow. I remember it so clearly, like it happened yesterday.  Probably because it was during one of the worst times of my life.

My husband had up and left me for another woman without any warning right beforehand.  So every year I get to remember, revisit, redream.  It sucks.  But at least I will never forget.

On Sept. 11th I was at work, crying in my office, as I had done for the past few weeks.  My internet alerted a flashing news story, and I watched the pictures of the first plane’s aftermath online.  I had a real bad feeling.  So bad that I stopped crying.

When the second plane hit, I knew it for what it was.  Everybody crowded around in front of computers, watching the story unfold.  One of the girls brought in a small TV to watch it on.  I was starting to get scared, and wondering if I should talk to the bosses about sending people home.  It seemed like everyone in Chicago had gone home.  But the big boss came out of his office, and told us to shut off the TV and for everybody to get back to work.  What a patriot, huh?  Asshole.

I went home alone, to an empty house, scared.  I was so scared I didn’t want to watch it on TV anymore.  I went and sat in the back yard with the dogs, and rocked back and forth in my chair.  I saw my ex drive by down the road with his new girlfriend in the car, and I had the uncharitable thought that I wished it was him in the WTC instead of some other decent person.  Then the Catholic school girl guilt kicked in and I felt bad.  So instead I wished it was me.  That’s what the Catholic school did to me.  Ha.

Anyway, I got through it.  We all did.  We all bucked up and became stronger for it.  I got divorced a couple of weeks later, and got used to taking off my shoes in an airport.  It was a sad time for us all.

By the time the one year anniversary rolled around, I was no longer sad, but mad.  Mad about both things.  So I wrote a poem about it.  I published it on the one year anniversary, and have posted it in some form or fashion every year since.  It helps remind me of where I was in that heartbreaking moment.  Here it is again:

The anniversary of 9/11

Twin Towers
Two twin towers were standing tall.
Two twin towers were about to fall.
Twas Sept. 11th, a beautiful day,
Tho I did not know it. I couldn’t find my way.
My mind was clouded, my heart was shattered.
My husband had left me ….. I felt battered.
My life was over, my heart was aching,
I could almost feel my spirit breaking.
I selfishly thought nothing was worse than this pain,
Little did I know what was to happen, again.
Two twin towers were standing tall.
Two twin towers were about to fall.
Evil had come to visit us that day.
Evil was here, and here to stay.
Evil reared back and rose its ugly head,
Evil wouldn’t be happy unless we were dead.
Evil looked around, and Evil was jealous.
Evil licked his lips, Evil was zealous.
Evil wanted to bring the U.S. down,
Evil picked New York as his target town.
Two twin towers were standing tall.
Two twin towers were about to fall.
Our planes would become weapons of destruction,
Evil thought nothing would become an obstruction.
But there was something that Evil didn’t know…
How Americans loved their country so.
We rallied around, we held our heads high.
Even as we mourned and our eyes did cry.
Our heroes were everywhere, even in the sky.
We shook our heads, and we asked WHY?
Two twin towers were standing tall.
Two twin towers were about to fall.
Something inside of me sparked that day,
And a guiding light was showing me the way.
My personal troubles were bad, that was true.
But nothing compared to the Red, White and Blue.
So I dried off my tears,
I shrugged off my fears.
I stood tall, I stood proud.
Courage took over, it shouted out loud.
Everyone knows that Evil lurks within,
But we will not falter and let Evil win.
We will guard our land, we will guard our skies,
Until once again, peace resides.
Two twin towers went crashing down.
Two twin towers collapsed into the ground.
towers2

Am I safe yet?

It was a beautiful day in June about 3 years ago.  I was on the train heading home from a great weekend visiting with a friend in Chicago and taking in the sights.  My cell phone rang, and it was my neighbor.  She asked me when I would be home, as 2 FBI agents were looking for me.

My stress level went through the roof!  I went over and over again in my mind what they could possible want.  I was a good, law abiding citizen!  With some trepidation, I called the number on the card they left when I got home.

Shortly thereafter 2 agents in suits appeared at my door.  I did not let them in. First I asked them for identification.  I told them their FBI ID cards could be bought on the internet.  I told the same thing about their badges.  Finally they gave me a card for their Chicago FBI office and the name of their supervisor.  I called the number.  They answered FBI offices of Chicago.  I asked for the supervisor.  Said he was out.  Then I asked for one of the agents at my door.  They said he was out.  I said out doing what.  They would not tell me, obviously.  I said I was going to call the police as I didn’t believe these guys were agents.  In the next minute or so, the supervisor called me back.  These guys were legit.

Now that I vetted them, it was time to get down to business.  The lead agent said he was sorry to inform me that I was on the ISIS Civilian Kill List.  What?

I think at that point my jaw dropped.  I sat down on my front porch.  I thought it must be a joke.  A bad joke.

They explained to me that in order to become a member of ISIS, you must kill an Infidel to get your jihad.  An Infidel is a Christian, like me.  So they published a Civilian Kill List for the United States lone wolf who wants to become a member of this illustrious group.

By this time I am envisioning running down my street with a crazed kid after me with a butcher knife so he could behead me in public.  Yikes!

Why was I on this list?  They could not say why, but that Quantico was analyzing the data, and they would let me know if they found anything.  My name and address was on the list, along with about a hundred other people.  They needed to find a common thread.

After I asked about a million questions, they told me I should:  get an alarm system, get a dog, get a gun, tell my family and friends and neighbors etc.  Be aware of my surroundings at all times.

Was I really in danger?  Is someone going come and kill me, in Antioch IL?  They didn’t know.  It was their responsibility to inform me of the situation.  They had already informed the Lake County Sheriff about the situation, and they were going to add patrols to my neighborhood.  Crikey!

After they left, I sat in shock for awhile.  Then I got in my car and drove to Red Dot Arms.  When I explained the situation to them, they really got excited.  They live for this kind of stuff!  They are all armed to the teeth.  Anyway, they spent a lot of time with me picking out a hand gun for me and showing me the basics.  They let me shoot it, and I wasn’t a fan.  But I bought the gun.  They literally wanted me to buy tear gas and shotguns and all kinds of rigmarole.  Geez!  I thought they were going to move in with me so they could get the chance to shoot a real bad guy!  (Trust me, I thought about it!)

Then I went and told my family, all of who live in my neighborhood.  They did not believe a word I said.  They said I was making up this story, for attention.  Like, what would they want with an old lady from Antioch?  Exactly.

It was Red Dot Arms that broke the case open.  They were called by several other people, who were also on my list!  These other people had gone on a church trip to Israel.  They had a Palestine guide, who apparently sold their church list to ISIS.  ISIS then filled out the list with random members of other Christian churches.

I called the FBI to let them know.  They were on the case too, and had come up with the same conclusion.  They came back out to talk to me, to calm me down.

So.  I got a deadbolt and started locking my door.  I told my Ozzy cat he was now the official guard dog.  I told my friends and other neighbors etc.  I started looking over my shoulder.

It was not the best summer after that.  I would practice how fast I could get my gun out of my safe, slap the cartridge in, and be ready to fire.  It took 6 seconds.  I would be dead by then, but was scared to keep my gun loaded and under my pillow or something.

I was scared of my gun, so I took a CCL class.  Didn’t help me overcome my fear.  My arthritis prevents me from firing the gun like a pro.  I have not used my gun since that class, three years ago.

Time has passed.  Nobody has shown up yet.  I am thinking they won’t.  ISIS is so last year.  At least I hope so.

I am no longer afraid of ISIS.  Now I am afraid of a mass shooter showing up at my school, or Wal-mart or church.  A domestic terrorist, home grown right here in the good old USA.  The chances of that happening to me are much better.

Kinda sad, huh?  Oh and if you dont believe my story either, here is a post from 2016 about civilian kill lists.

https://freebeacon.com/national-security/isis-kill-lists-increasingly-target-u-s-civilians/