Oh my Aching Back!


backWe all have a bad back every now and then, I think it is a fact of life.  I have had more than my fair share.  Most recently, since February, I have suffered with herniated disks and sciatica.  It has caused me a whole host of problems, included falling and double dislocating the fingers on my left hand, several hospitalizations, several epidural shots, and a surgery 6 weeks ago to do 4 laminectomies and 2 microdisectomies.

Apparently I have Oseoarthritis and Ankylosing spondylitis, which has helped cause these problems.  Whatever, all I know is that I have a bad back.  A very bad back.

After my surgery 6 weeks ago, I went right back to work (there were extenuating circumstances) and was driving to Libertyville 3-4 days a week plus working from home.  I was riding my lawnmower and my quad.  I was going to the pool.  I was dealing with my sleep apnea and going to sleep studies etc.  I was dealing with heart issues and going for stress tests, echocardiagrams and venous studies. I was doing WAY TOO MUCH.  So now I am back to square one with my back, and it is mostly my fault.  And my Catholic school guilt, which prevents me from putting myself FIRST when I need to.  So now I have ruined everything, and I don’t know if it can be fixed.  Crikey.

Tomorrow I go back to the hospital for tests and MRI, to see the scope of the further damage I have done to myself.  I am on very strong muscle relaxers and pain killers (so excuse the poor grammar etc.).  I am dizzy and in severe pain.  It takes me 15-30 minutes to get out of bed, because I have to wait for the zingers in my leg to pass enough to put weight on it without screaming.  Just like before my surgery.  I hate this.  I hate myself.

Sigh.  Why do I do this to myself?  I am my own worst enemy.  From now on I am putting myself first.  No matter what.  Please help me do that!

P.S.  You might want to read a previous post, in which I detail what happened back in February.  How was YOUR week? Redux

So I’ll never be a Hip Hop dancer….

hip hop

I’ve got a bad hip. I’ve been blaming it on my bad back for almost a year now, but the reality is that I have a bad hip. Might have been aggravated by limping around with a bad back for so long, but whatever the reason, my hip is giving me a bad rap.


I’ve been going to physical therapy, and they have pretty much confirmed my worst fears.  I have all the symptoms of needing a hip replacement.  Just waiting on an MRI to confirm that.

Really, I said.  Actually I said reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllyyyyy.  I’m way too young for that.  Apparently I’m not.  Walking has been VERY painful for a while now.  Kept thinking I pulled a groin muscle, and I limped because of that.  Going grocery shopping has been brutal.  Not just traversing the store, but carrying all the heavy bags up the stairs in my house.

Yep, that’s right.  Stairs in my house.  I live in a raised ranch.  I HATE IT, always have, always will, but it is what it is.

My PT told me today that I should avoid going up the stairs, that it really aggravates my hip.  Ok, so I guess I’ll just hole up here for a while with no food and no laundry and no swimming classes and no PT.

I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks and was hoping to show off my hip hop moves, along with my new repertoire of The Shake and Gangham Style.  How I love my dancing!  I guess that won’t be happening.  I’ll have to stick to the slow stuff.  In my walker.