Kitty Condo Conundrum

kitty condo

There’s trouble in Paradise. In the kitty condo, pictured above.

When I first got the condo, both cats were ecstatic. They had a snuggle place all to themselves, instead of sharing momma’s bed.
cat nap

They slept in their condo together every night, and sometimes for their afternoon cat nap. There was always a cat or two in there.

Then something happened. Neither one will go in there. Not even for treats or catnip.

At first I thought maybe it was dirty or something, so I washed the removable bed pad. Nope, it wasn’t that.

So it must have been a cat fight. A real doozy. Neither one of them are talking about it, so I’m afraid to ask. I notice they have been sleping on separate sides of my bed. Ozzy on the left, under the covers with Momma. Izzy on the right, typically on top of my hip. Things were definitely a little chilly, and it wasn’t about the Polar Vortex.

I went right to the source, and asked each of them what happened.  They’re not talking.

I have noticed a bit of a warm-up between them lately, and they are now snuggling together for their afternoon naps. I hope eventually they will wander back into their condo. It’s so cute.

Plus, Momma paid good money for that condo!

I coulda won that Funniest Home Video….


Picture this in your mind. But add flames shooting out from both sides of the cat.

This really happened in my house some years back. My old Vanna cat jumped up on the end table. On top of a lit candle. We both realized at the same time that she was on fire. She looked at me, I looked at her, I screamed, and she took off running down the hall.

And so did both my retrievers. Typically the dogs and the cat lived in peace, as Vanna was older and slow, and gave the dogs no reason to chase her. But add some screams and running, and both dog’s prey instincts kicked in, and they took off after her down the hall, with momma bringing up the rear.

The faster she ran, the more it fanned the flames shooting out from either side.  I’ve never seen her run so fast, but I guess you would too if you were on fire with two huge dogs chasing you.  I was screaming at her to stop, and screaming at the dogs to stop, but we all went full tilt until we hit the bedroom.

She leaped up onto the bed to escape the dogs, I immediately flipped her over and beat the flames out. She was still smoking pretty bad so I carried her to the kitchen sink and sprayed her down with the faucet hose. I furiously dug through her stinky wet fur to find her skin and see how bad her burns were. Nothing. She was not burned at all.

But boy did she stink like burnt wet cat fur! I had to take the scissors and cut off all of her pretty long belly fur. This was a feisty old cat who had never had so much as a bath!

We all survived, the dogs had great fun, thought it was a game, the poor old cat didn’t jump on things too often after all that.

Too bad I didn’t have a video cam on, I would have won that $10,000 for sure!

She was a good old cat. Miss my Vanna.

Dear Rainbow Bridge

It must be getting crowded on your side.  Several of my friends and bloggers have recently lost their pets.  I have contributed more than my fair share.

I love the idea of the Rainbow Bridge.  For those of you who are not familiar with it, it is a story that goes like this:


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…. 

Author unknown..

I just KNOW the Rainbow Bridge is real.  I just KNOW that God will reunite us with our beloved pets.  I cannot wait to see them.  Laddie, Scuffy, Mimi, Cali, UPer, Baby Kitty, Savanah, Maggie, Mollie, Maddie, Simon, and eventually Ozzy and Izzy.  I can picture myself, young and strong and beautiful again, running across the bridge, and being covered by all my loves, and playing in a beautiful green meadow covered in flowers.

That would just make my idea of heaven complete.

One job, two dogs, and a cat later…..


And here it is almost two years later.  Things are better.  So much better.  2011 was surely my hell on earth.  I lost so many things that year.  I used to wonder why I was being punished, and would say that I must have been a horrible person in a previous life.

The loss of my pets still guts me.  I second guess myself to this day.  Did I miss something, could I have done something better.  I loved my pets as much, if not more, than I love some human.  To me, they were human.  They could read my mind, as I could read theirs.  They were all beautiful creatures, inside and out.  Maddie was the cutest little golden retriever, with a heart as pure as gold.  She was taken too soon from me by kidney disease.  Only six years I had her.  She truly was a Golden Angel.  My Mollie was my big bad lab, and she was the most gorgeous white lab I had ever seen.  Long legs, not a blocky head, a proud tale that could clear a table in one swipe.  She lived a long life for a lab, but the day I put her down was one of my darkest ever.  The vet tech and I laid on the floor with her for over an hour just sobbing.  That day I went home, and now there were no dogs waiting for me with love shining from their eyes, and pure joy waggling their butts.

So that left Simon.  My beautiful Simon the Siamese cat.  He was my sister’s, but always loved me the best, as I did him.  I took him after Maddie died, as I need a new bed companion.  He was the BEST cat ever.  Ever.  Gorgeous, loyal, and followed me everywhere.  Sat on a chair in my office, sat on my lap watching TV, laid in his kitty bed on the bed next to me.  Mollie and Simon just ignored each other, so everyone got along just fine.  After Mollie died, it was just the two of us.  I knew I could never bring another dog into my home, the pain was just too great.  Simon was only six, I had many years left with him.

Except I didn’t.  After only 4 months, Simon too died, after a horrible night at the emergency vet.  I was in shock.  Really, God?  Really?  I was inconsolable.  That Sunday at church, I kept asking God why.  I was such a good mommy.  Why did God take my beloved pets from me?

I know the answer to that, unfortunately.  God gives me the special needs animals.  The animals that need special food and the meds.  The animals that need someone observant enough of their habits to realize when something is wrong.  The animals that would love me unconditionally, and give me back the love I so wanted and needed.

.But.  I just cannot live without a pet.  My heart is not ready yet for a dog, but cats are perfect, because they are more independent.  I have two new cats now.  They both have special needs, although I was not aware of it when I rescued them.  Ozzy has a defective bladder, and requires special food and meds.  Izzy has kitty colitis, and also requires special food.  But they are worth it.  They give me joy and love and all the affection I could possibly want, especially my Siamese Izzy.  They love each other and sleep curled up together in their kitty bed on my bed, or under the covers with me.  We are a good trio.  I am so happy Ozzy and Izzy found me, and adopted me.

As far as everything else goes, I have rekindled old friendships, and found new ones.  I have re-discovered my self-respect, self-love, and self-determination.  Sure, there have been bumps along the way, but my path is smooth now.  I work for myself and reap my own rewards.  Sink or swim, I am in control of my own destiny.

A blind guy update…..


Well it’s been a few weeks since Al the blind guy was here and we chatted for hours, again.  As you all know, because you read my blog faithfully, after he left I felt such a letdown.

A few days went by, and I got a call from the store wanting me to do a survey on my experience with the installer.  Of course I gave him all favorable comments.  A few days after that……..

I got a text from him.

A:  Thanks so much for the great review!  It was my pleasure to interact with you, in so many ways!

Wow.  So.  I thought about it for a few days, and then a sent a response:

Me:  Hi Al, you’re welcome, please don’t take this the wrong way, but after you left the last time I felt really sad that I was never going to see you again. You are a really nice guy and I enjoyed talking to you.  Ah C’est la Vie.

I was really nervous after sending that text, and kept checking my phone for a response.  I also felt guilty, and prayed his girlfriend didn’t have access to his phone.  That might be hard to explain, even tho it was “innocent”.  I know what it is like to be cheated on, and never want to cause a woman pain.  But I felt I had to do this, because girlfriends don’t last forever, and I wanted to at least plant the seed in his mind in case he ever became single.

So I waited.  A couple of days lately, I got this response:

A:  I’m sure that will not be the last time.  It was wonderful meeting you as well.

Ahhhhhh.  The perfect response, no?  Non-committal, non-romantic, perfectly innocent and friendly.

So again I waited to respond.  Don’t want to sound pushy.  A rapid response might send him running for the hills.  So far our texts have been a few days apart, a proper waiting period for “friends”.   A couple of days later, the perfect opportunity arose.  My Ozzy cat, who had a mutual affection with him, got sick and went to the ER vet.  While I was there waiting for hours, I decided to send a text back…..

Me:  Your buddy my Ozzy cat is really sick he has “an abnormally small bladder” and is on all kinds of meds. Poor kitty. Just my luck I get all the sick animals because God knows I will take care of them.

This time he responded right away.

Al:  Oh no tell my buddy I will bring him a special treat next time I see him!

Hmmmm.  Next time.  He’s talking next time.  Meaning he intends to come over again.  Right?  Maybe yes.  Maybe no.  Just words.  Nothing definite.  Next time could be years from now.  So I waited to respond.  A week I waited.

Me:  Ozzy would love to see you again!

So now Ozzy and I wait.  I don’t want Ozzy to get his hopes up, because he really really likes the blind man.  He loves to rub all over him, and Al knows just what he likes……

Excuse me, my mind wandered off for a moment…..oh to be a cat!

I’ll be sure to keep you posted on my stimulating text relationship with the blind guy!



There are advantages…..

My blogger friend Jenni got me thinking on this subject.  Another douche bag man…she’s thinking of getting a kitten instead.

Worked for me. I don’t need no stinkin’ man I got me a baby kitty…..Ozzy.  Let’s see, what are the advantages?  Snuggles on my neck every night, doesn’t go out “catting” around, always happy to see me, and never leaves the toilet seat up for starters.  Clean as a whistle, doesn’t leave dirty clothes hanging everywhere, doesn’t take up much room in the bed.   Doesn’t have any bad habits, like smoking, drinking, or doing drugs.  Likes reality TV shows and Animal Planet.  Gives you hugs and kisses whenever you want.

Any disadvantages?  Sure, as in any relationship, you have to take the bad with the good.  Ozzy expects food and water in his bowl at regular intervals, and expects me to clean his waste every day.  Also uses me as a springboard for his nightly gymnastics.  Chews up all my strings that dangle.  Occasionally has bad breath.  Gets a little carried away with smurf bites.  Tongues a little raspy on the face.  Likes to try and trip me.  And, yes, he is an animal, not a real man, who does have an occasional use.  There are obviously a few men out there who could trump my cat, but they are just delusions illusions of reality for me, lol.

But overall?  For unconditional love?  Please, no contest.  A cuddly kitten or puppy will win every time.

Killer Kitten

My lovable little baby kitty is growing up.  He is now an adolescent.  He doesn’t play with babies or mommies any more.  His idea of playing now is running hot laps in the bedroom over my body.  A 7 pound cat can HURT when running full blast and using you as a launch pad.  Last night he ran a lap and used my freshly peeled face as a trampoline to spring off the bed.  Can we say intense pain!  No amount of cursing or throwing objects will stop him.   Then he lies on top of my dressing table, and just stares at me.  For a long time.  Until I begin to feel like prey…..  Then all of a sudden the switch turns off, and he leaps to the bed with his usual little squeak, and cuddles up in my neck, purring a mile a minute.  NOW he wants affection, and then sleep.  But only when HE is ready.

Now, while I am truly amazed at the “air” he can get and the speed he can run, graceful he is not.  Something is always crashing to the floor.  Usually something breakable.  This morning when I was doing my post-peel facial cleansing/moisturizing/sunblocking, he took a mad dash across the double sinks and sent all my ceramic Easter decorations AND my coffee cup crashing to the floor.  BAD momma, for placing those delicate items in his way!  I should have know better.  But at the time I thought he was content playing with the water in the toilet.

I keep his litter box in the bathroom, as he likes to join me in all my activities.  It has a hood on it so he can have privacy if he wants.  Momma gets no privacy,  When Ozzy is done in his box, he leaps out and then tangles himself in momma’s pant legs.  After boxing with him trying to pull my pants up, I then go clean his box.  Because of my bad back, I can’t hardly bend over.  So I take it by the handle on top of the hood, and place it on top of my laundry bin.  While I am scooping his litter, he ALWAYS jumps into his box from the floor and frantically starts scratching, and then pees, right where I am trying to scoop.  He is marking his territory.  Which is fine, but now I have a cat in a litter box wobbling off the laundry bin while I’m trying to balance everything until he jumps out and then scatters litter everywhere.  Sigh.  Luckily I keep a cordless stick vac in the bathroom, just for kitty litter, lol.

Another odd thing I am noticing.  If he is not laying in his grass on his playground in the bay window, he lies on the carpet on the floor.  Like in the middle of the hallway.  I find that strange.  Most cats prefer a nice soft perch.  I think he does it because he knows I cannot bend down and pick him up, so he is left alone.  He doesn’t like his momma cuddling him anymore.  😦

I think he might be mad at me.  He isn’t the same since I cut off his balls and yanked his front claws.  Now I know I am being melodramatic when I say it that way, but hey, from Ozzy’s perspective, that’s basically what I did.  Then I left him and went to the hospital for four days.  Maybe he was traumatized over that.  I don’t know.

I want a kitty playground!

The ultimate kitty playground.  Everything a kitten could ever want or need.  Let’s review:

First up, the Massage Center.  The ultimate day spa adventure!  If your mama doesn’t pet you enough, you can get your fix here!

Then, the Scratch Pad, soft enough even for declawed paws.  A mani/pedi for kitty paws.

Followed by the Grass Garden.  A mix of wheat and oat greens designed especially for kitty tummies to help aid in digestion, served in an attractive bowl.

And who can resist the Food Maze?  Don’t we all love to play with our food!  Eat and exercise at the same time!

Finally, to wrap everything up, the Play Circuit and the Speed circuit!  Need to work off all that food with an exercise buddy, before nap time.





Ok, so now where is mama’s day spa playground!



Photos courtesy of Catit Design Senses Bundle

Kitten behind bars

Lil’ man Ozzy was in solitude again.  Ever since Mama Mia here took him to the vet to deposit a few body parts, he’s been afraid of being reincarcinated.  To work up the sympathy factor, he’s been favoring his right front paw ever since, holding it up in offering, as if to say, ya you yank out all my claws, sure you don’t wanna just cut off the rest of my leg?  Mama knew it was just a ploy, this was not her first kitty con.

Of course, being the best kitty mama ever, she called and double checked with the vet right away who confirmed her suspicions.  Phantom limb pain.  Happens all the time, he’ll get used to it once all his stitches dissolve.

Weeks go by, stitches still there, paw still up.  Baby Bri comes over and says, as only a two-year old can, “OZZY needs go to DOCTOR, got STITCHES STUCK in his  paw!”.  So once again mama calls the doctor and the doctor says….bring him in for a check Saturday morning, maybe he DOES have a STUCK STITCH. 

Friday night mama casually puts the cage on the countertop, leaving the door invitingly open.  This time when Ozzy jumped up there to investigate, she doesn’t shoot him between the eyes with the water gun.  Saturday morning, when Ozzy was hanging out on the countertop, thinking he was getting away with something, mama stuffed him inside the clinker and clanked the door shut. 

All the way to the vet in the car he yeowled.  It was never a good thing to get locked up and take a car ride.  He never came home the same.

The vet picked him up by the scruff of the neck like a mama cat would, (but I still hate it, they fight against it so much!) and pressed on all his paws.  Ozzy hissed and spit as much as he could and got a few good swipes in with his back claws.  Vet released him back into the cage and said he thought maybe there was a bit of infection in the right paw, and that he was going to take him into the back treatment room cause he would have to nick it open.  So I went back into the office and was chit chatting with all the girls.

All of a sudden a jungle cat screech penetrated the relative calm, followed by an even louder screech, and accompanied by hisses and growling.  It sounded like a couple of bobcats on the loose back there!  All the waiting clients looked up in fear, and I said, “That’s my boy!”

Actually I was worried and hurried back into the room where they handed me my spitting mad kitten and said nope, no problem.  I asked what all the screeching was about and the vet said he stuck a needle in his paw.  No infection, just a STUCK STITCH,  like Baby Bri said.  So I comforted Ozzy all the while murmuring in his ear what a big bad doctor he was, poor little kitten.  Vet knew I was teasing of course.  Kinda.  That’s the one big difference between cats and dogs.  Dogs come when you call them, jump in the car, sit in stoic silence when jabbed with needles.  Cats run under beds, hiss, spit, bite, screech and howl.  And that’s when they are in a GOOD mood, lol.  I just hate it that docs have to hold them by the scruff and immediately put the cat on the defensive.  But cats just don’t sit still for docs to poke them and stuff.  Just not their nature.  At least not mine.

So we are back home.  Ozzy is taking his nap.  Mama will soon be joining him.  Excitement done for the day.

Right Between the Eyes

My little kitten Ozzy is growing up to be quite the lil’ man.  He flies through the house like a cat on fire.  He leaps, he bounds, he jumps, he rolls.  And that is before he gets all riled up.  You know.  When a cat gets a wild hair up his butt and pins his ears back and goes on mission.  Not sure what the mission is, he just needs to do it NOW.

I am not a cat rookie.  Had cats most of my life.  I have a sneaking suspicion that my first cat Callie has returned in the body of Ozzy.  She was a holy terror too.  Ozzy is non-stop until he crawls up my body to my shoulder area and plops down into a purring sleepy kitten ball, kissing my nose and patting my face.

After all these years with cats, I think I can read their minds fairly well.  With Ozzy, it’s all about how much he can get away with before Mama stops him with a loud resounding NO, or a squirt from the water bottle.  Ozzy favorite spot is the kitchen island counter top.  Mama doesn’t want kittens on countertops.  So we play the same game every day, over and over.

Ozzy:  I think I’ll jump up on the kitchen stool and then onto the island top to see what’s new up there.

Mama:  Where’s that dang cat, I bet he is on the countertop.

Ozzy:  Oh no, here comes my Mama, quick, hide behind the flower vase!

Mama:  You silly lil’ man, Mama can see you.

Ozzy:  Uh oh, I forgot to close my eyes!  If I close my eyes she can’t see me!











Mama:  Ozzy, I still seeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.  Now get down!

Ozzy:   Ok, I’m gonna make a break for it and scamper really fast, past the glass dish and salt and pepper shakers and hide behind her purse.  Dang it, why can’t she get a bigger purse?

Mama:  Alrighty then….SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  I better high-tail it back to the stool!  If I crouch down, then she can’t see me!

Mama:  Ozzy, I see your ears.

Ozzy:  Ok, I’m gonna just take a quick peek











Mama:  SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  Oh man!  Right between the eyes!  Ok, I just wait a second and try again….

Mama:  SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  Right between the eyes again!  She’s a good shot.  I better try later.  Much later.  Yawnnnnn and stretchhhhhhhhhh.  Time to go back to the bay window and lounge in the sun.  I need a cat nap.

Mama:  That silly kitty.  He’ll never learn, lol.

Ozzy:   Pssst!  Don’t tell Mama I’ve prolly used up several of my lives already playing kamikaze jumping off the railing and down the stairs!