The Stalker

JackalShe lies in wait, patiently stalking her prey.  Watching his every move.  Plotting his next sighting.  And when she gets her shot, it makes all the waiting worth while.

Man Hunter.  Man Stalker.  It takes a special breed of woman to plot her strategies in the face of all kinds of roadblocks.  Like a wife.  But that never stops the determined ones.

The determined ones have a steely one-track mind.  How to win the prize.  They plastered his picture up at their work so they can adore him daily.  They weasel their way into his favorite activities, like fishing.  They go on a fad diet to lose the pudge they usually carry.  Then the real work begins.

They ply the target with alcohol, his main weakness and addiction, time after time, knowing it drives the wedge further into the relationship with the wife.  They have observed how the prey becomes drunk and stupid.

drunk

And when the timing is right, they strike.  They let nothing stop them, not even the man’s little boy as a witness to the total lack of morals and values that was to follow.  They gave no thought to the pain they would cause.

snake

The prey took the bait, just as she knew he would.  She had done her homework well.  He swallowed her in, hook, line and sinker.  This one she would not throw back.

fish

They did not plan on getting caught that night.  Or did they?  Hard to know what machinations drive the stalker mind.  The prey was such an easy target.  Almost too easy.  She could toy with him, like a cat with a mouse.  A little more alcohol and she was the puppet master.

What followed after the stalker’s successful hunt was the usual bloody carnage left behind.  The spoils of a kill are not a pretty picture, so we shall not dwell further on the pain and suffering that followed.  Suffice it to say that it was quite considerable.

On the one hand, she was a good stalker.

On the other hand she was the worst kind of stalker.  The husband stealing kind.

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The Six Degrees of Thomas

I, like many of you, have been following the story of Thomas, as told primarily by Jenni, and second-hand by many others.  There is an existential premise that everyone in the world is connected to everyone else in the world by a chain of no more than six acquaintances, thus, “six degrees of separation“, or what I like to call the “Kevin Bacon Factor”.  So I figure at least every sixth person in Word Press is up on all this drama.

You know, it’s funny how people have such different radar.  When I initially ran into Thomas, my first comment to him was basically calling him on his BS. I wish I had saved the comments I made on his blogs.  I can’t find them, they must have been deleted when he deleted his blog.  I do know my first comment remarked on how he sounded too good to be true, along those lines.  He immediately complimented me on something and tried to divert my attention from HIM to ME.  I remember laughing to myself when he invited me to the islands, thinking “yeah right, what would he want with an old lady like me”, and never gave it or him a second thought.  Every now and then I would comment on more of his BS, but more in a joking manner.  He just was not on my radar.  I would chuckle when I would read his blogs, knowing what BS he was delivering, and yes, at the time I did get a chuckle too at all the responses from his adoring harem.   I thought he was a harmless old fool, getting his kicks from behind an anonymous screen.  Little did I know….

As luck would have it, I do still have some of his comments to me, which might give you a chuckle or a shiver, depending….

Here is T’s comment to my post Sweetest of the Sweet:

Submitted on 2011/10/18 at 2:59 am

“oh my…I effing love this post…  you should know…  although many girls don’t make it past the age of 16 without losing their virginity, I’ve encountered a 40 year old virgin recently… and well let’s simply say, that she had her sights  on hanging out and stuff and “getting to know me a bit better”.  

I couldn’t quite understand all of the reasons when I brought sex up in a conversation she immediately either shuts up or she mentions the weather…so I came straight out while enjoying brie and some fruit….  yeah…  she’s an effin’ virgin…  I’m trying to compose myself since she thinks it’s the holy grail amonst the world of sinful beings…. yet, instead of feeding that mentality, I let her know upfront that I’m into really “good” girls…  not girls who are effing saints and stuff…  I don’t want to teach a woman anything….with most girls she’d reached woman-hood  when she went to prom or sometime therefore with her date that she was in love with at the time…and I do know several girls who held their virginity well past college….but to make it nearly 20 years past that…  well there’s several challenges…

The biggest of those challenges?   I’m into sex in a much different way than she is…  needless to say, I let her down as gently as possible….  I told her that I would ruin her and take her “fine adherance” to her parent’s rules and destroy them…

All with a passionate night, goes a girl’s gateway to womanhood and most of the time it ends with her being hurt and heartbroken….

Not this time…not for me….I plan on being a pillar of humanity…  I know…why? When she’s either going to decide she’s gotta know what it feels like or she’s simply allowing herself her moment in the sun…  But it will not be me that breaks another girl’s heart with dreams of grandeur…  Oh hunny, no worries, i life the life, but I don’t live barbie and ken’s life…  ken has no penis and honestly, I think barbie likes it like that as long as she’s got a nice corvette and pool out back of her little mansion…  for me, I live in the reality of what humanity has done to itself…  yep, I’m certain  that I have not helped the situation with my ideas of sexual desires… yet one thing’s for sure…  I won’t make it boring and I’ll always make sure to take care of her first…  life is too short for one sexual encounter to be bad…

A secret…I thought that I wanted to take every virgin back in high school….and I did an impressive job at learning how to seduce…  my numbers were responsive to my desires…but in the end, it was more than the 5 bucks I paid for rose petals to spread over the comforter at my parent’s lake home…and the tiny bite at the base of the ear lobe when it was “that time” to take her mind off of a little pain…yeah…  I learned everything from much older men… and I took the art as a personal conquest, until I realized….I had to teach every single one of em the basics….yeah…  I was like…”I want a Mormon girl who hasn’t slept around like she’s the village bicycle where everyone in town has had a ride…”

Needless to say, in my older years, I’ve learned to not be so ridgid…. love life and those little moments….including those numbers of virgins that have allowed my name as their first… I’m not gonna live forever, but as long as I’m here, I might as well make my mark on a few people… 

T.”

This was his comment to my post The Ten Year Rule:

Jan…I tend to date girls nearly half my age…I’m 42, but i tend to date in the 25-30 kinda range.  A lot of females both older and younger think that it’s all about the preference in equipment between the different females, but I don’t think that it is since I enjoy a girl my age nearly as much as one much younger than myself… 

The difference?  I’m not as mature as my age 42 would suggest.  i am more along the maturity scale of a 25 year old…  i do whatever i want, and living in the caribbean means I’m forever a pirate.  sure, sure, i need more hair but in the short/long run, I’m happy and I make the younger girls happy..so it’s a win-win…

T.

Another comment from him:

Submitted on 2011/09/19 at 6:21 pm | In reply to Jan Heath.

“Jan,

I love all things that are out of the norm, so you are perfect for me!  Having a “different” point of view is what I love….

T.”

This is more recent, from Thomas’ usedboatyard.com website, where he blogs under the name DD.  this was on one his recent blogs there:

“It has  been a few days since my last blog update, and I’m sorry to say I missed going to the New Orleans Boat show early last week, but I was recovering from a trip to Puerto Rico with some unforseen issues. At least I’m back and I’m able to catch up our readers on a bit of boating blog here and there.”

Sounds like Thomas is still up to his old tricks from what I am seeing on the blogs.  I’m wondering about the wife, poor lady, is she is still aware that there is subterfuge still happening?  And perhaps another blog floating around somewhere.  More victims to woo, more prey to stalk.

A wise man once told me that if it seems too good to be true, it usually is.  He also told me to picture would-be suitors as a fat old man sitting in front of his computer in his underwear typing and drooling into his keyboard.

I am officially going to call this whole story the “Thomas Factor”.

 

Forgive AND forget????

Boy, the past men in my life are coming out of the woodwork lately!  This time it wasn’t a warm fuzzy feeling like hearing from the The Messiah again.  Nope.  This time it was a face to face confrontation with my lying, cheating, binge drinking ex-husband and his equally cheating mistress-turned-wife.

No need to go into all the nasty dirty little details of our divorce, which happened from start to finish in 6 weeks because he basically threatened me if I did not give him what he wanted.  Suffice it to say that he is NOT an honorable man, sucked up all my money, and then left me high and dry and ran off like a coward with his girlfriend after I finally caught them together one night.  He married her on the one year anniversary of our divorce.  His third wife, btw.

Am I better off without him???  You bet.  Should have never married him in the first place.  He took up 10 years of my life, and then another couple years of dealing with the aftermath of grief.  It took me a long time to get back to a new normal.  Going to church every Sunday, sitting in the back pew, crying my heart out.  It was ugly, wasn’t pretty.  I should have never shed a tear over him, he wasn’t worth it.   I still have the signs of prolonged grieving etched upon my face.

When he first left me, he paraded his new mistress all over town, and practically stalked me wherever I went.  There he was.  I finally had to have my lawyer call his lawyer and tell him to stop.  I became a recluse, hardly ever leaving my house except to go to work.  I remember him telling me “why can’t you be normal?   Just forget you ever met me”.  Ok, sure, let me rewind my brain 10 years back.

After a few years of dealing with my grief internally, I finally decided that enough was enough.  First I forgave myself.  Then I forgave him.  It takes too much out of a person to continue to hate.  I wanted to be better than that.

Until last night, I hadn’t seen him in years, as he had moved in with mistress wife over the border.   I thought I was finally free of ex-sightings.  Of course they seated our dinner party right next to their table.  As I passed by, I said hello John, hello Michelle.  And then I sat with my back to them.  So far so good.  I was proud of myself for acknowledging his presence with good grace.  Then wifey poo got up to go to the ladies room.  As soon as she was gone, he called my name out and asked me a question.  My head spun around like Reagan’s on The Exorcist and I spat something mean out like “what do you care?”.  My friends around the table had no idea who he was, and were quite shocked at my behavior.  I could tell by the look on their faces.  So I put my head on right again, and turned and apologized, and answered his question.

Thankfully, they hurried up with their after dinner drinks and left shortly thereafter.  I then explained to my friends who he was and why I turned into the exorcist.  He didn’t really ruin my entire evening, but it was still upsetting, even after all these years.  Nobody wants to conjure up bad memories.  The best part tho was that The Messiah called me right after the ex spoke to me, and when I answered the phone I said “hi honey”.  Not sure why I did, I don’t think the ex could hear me, but I used to call the ex honey and so I was all discombobulated.  I could hardly hear The Messiah so I begged off the call saying I was at dinner with the girls.  I have no idea if he caught the “honey” greeting, or what he thought of it.

So.  Over and done with.  I didn’t even tell him that my lab Mollie, that I had bought for HIM for our anniversary, had recently died.  Not sure if he even would have cared.  Probably not.  My mom died shortly after our divorce and he was too cowardly to even send a card.  The rest of his family did and some even stopped by the church service.  In fact I am still friends with most of them.

Yes, I have forgiven him.  He doesn’t answer to me anymore.  He WILL have to answer to God some day, and I am quite certain that he will indeed be “Left Behind”.  One day I hope I can forget him and all the pain etc. he caused in my life.  Wipe him entirely out of my mind, like he did, in one day.