The Stalker

JackalShe lies in wait, patiently stalking her prey.  Watching his every move.  Plotting his next sighting.  And when she gets her shot, it makes all the waiting worth while.

Man Hunter.  Man Stalker.  It takes a special breed of woman to plot her strategies in the face of all kinds of roadblocks.  Like a wife.  But that never stops the determined ones.

The determined ones have a steely one-track mind.  How to win the prize.  They plastered his picture up at their work so they can adore him daily.  They weasel their way into his favorite activities, like fishing.  They go on a fad diet to lose the pudge they usually carry.  Then the real work begins.

They ply the target with alcohol, his main weakness and addiction, time after time, knowing it drives the wedge further into the relationship with the wife.  They have observed how the prey becomes drunk and stupid.

drunk

And when the timing is right, they strike.  They let nothing stop them, not even the man’s little boy as a witness to the total lack of morals and values that was to follow.  They gave no thought to the pain they would cause.

snake

The prey took the bait, just as she knew he would.  She had done her homework well.  He swallowed her in, hook, line and sinker.  This one she would not throw back.

fish

They did not plan on getting caught that night.  Or did they?  Hard to know what machinations drive the stalker mind.  The prey was such an easy target.  Almost too easy.  She could toy with him, like a cat with a mouse.  A little more alcohol and she was the puppet master.

What followed after the stalker’s successful hunt was the usual bloody carnage left behind.  The spoils of a kill are not a pretty picture, so we shall not dwell further on the pain and suffering that followed.  Suffice it to say that it was quite considerable.

On the one hand, she was a good stalker.

On the other hand she was the worst kind of stalker.  The husband stealing kind.

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I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR! Redux

I am having a good time re-reading my old blogs, so here’s another blast from the past!

I am woman

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.

woman

I am WOMAN hear me roar!

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.

Forgive AND forget????

Boy, the past men in my life are coming out of the woodwork lately!  This time it wasn’t a warm fuzzy feeling like hearing from the The Messiah again.  Nope.  This time it was a face to face confrontation with my lying, cheating, binge drinking ex-husband and his equally cheating mistress-turned-wife.

No need to go into all the nasty dirty little details of our divorce, which happened from start to finish in 6 weeks because he basically threatened me if I did not give him what he wanted.  Suffice it to say that he is NOT an honorable man, sucked up all my money, and then left me high and dry and ran off like a coward with his girlfriend after I finally caught them together one night.  He married her on the one year anniversary of our divorce.  His third wife, btw.

Am I better off without him???  You bet.  Should have never married him in the first place.  He took up 10 years of my life, and then another couple years of dealing with the aftermath of grief.  It took me a long time to get back to a new normal.  Going to church every Sunday, sitting in the back pew, crying my heart out.  It was ugly, wasn’t pretty.  I should have never shed a tear over him, he wasn’t worth it.   I still have the signs of prolonged grieving etched upon my face.

When he first left me, he paraded his new mistress all over town, and practically stalked me wherever I went.  There he was.  I finally had to have my lawyer call his lawyer and tell him to stop.  I became a recluse, hardly ever leaving my house except to go to work.  I remember him telling me “why can’t you be normal?   Just forget you ever met me”.  Ok, sure, let me rewind my brain 10 years back.

After a few years of dealing with my grief internally, I finally decided that enough was enough.  First I forgave myself.  Then I forgave him.  It takes too much out of a person to continue to hate.  I wanted to be better than that.

Until last night, I hadn’t seen him in years, as he had moved in with mistress wife over the border.   I thought I was finally free of ex-sightings.  Of course they seated our dinner party right next to their table.  As I passed by, I said hello John, hello Michelle.  And then I sat with my back to them.  So far so good.  I was proud of myself for acknowledging his presence with good grace.  Then wifey poo got up to go to the ladies room.  As soon as she was gone, he called my name out and asked me a question.  My head spun around like Reagan’s on The Exorcist and I spat something mean out like “what do you care?”.  My friends around the table had no idea who he was, and were quite shocked at my behavior.  I could tell by the look on their faces.  So I put my head on right again, and turned and apologized, and answered his question.

Thankfully, they hurried up with their after dinner drinks and left shortly thereafter.  I then explained to my friends who he was and why I turned into the exorcist.  He didn’t really ruin my entire evening, but it was still upsetting, even after all these years.  Nobody wants to conjure up bad memories.  The best part tho was that The Messiah called me right after the ex spoke to me, and when I answered the phone I said “hi honey”.  Not sure why I did, I don’t think the ex could hear me, but I used to call the ex honey and so I was all discombobulated.  I could hardly hear The Messiah so I begged off the call saying I was at dinner with the girls.  I have no idea if he caught the “honey” greeting, or what he thought of it.

So.  Over and done with.  I didn’t even tell him that my lab Mollie, that I had bought for HIM for our anniversary, had recently died.  Not sure if he even would have cared.  Probably not.  My mom died shortly after our divorce and he was too cowardly to even send a card.  The rest of his family did and some even stopped by the church service.  In fact I am still friends with most of them.

Yes, I have forgiven him.  He doesn’t answer to me anymore.  He WILL have to answer to God some day, and I am quite certain that he will indeed be “Left Behind”.  One day I hope I can forget him and all the pain etc. he caused in my life.  Wipe him entirely out of my mind, like he did, in one day.