Dear Mr. Match.com Dad……. REDUX

Another re-post, as I’m still getting those “Please come back to Match.com emails”.  But why should I?

Once a man reaches a certain age, I think it normal for most people to assume that you have an offspring or two tucked away somewhere.  Most people will also assume that your children are the lights of your life, as it should be.  These men may be widowed or divorced, and may be very involved in their children’s lives, as it also should be.  But if you are fiftysomething, hopefully they are not toddlers, lol.  Usually they are teenagers or older.

So why do you feel it is necessary to court women on a dating site with a name like “SashasDad” or “FatherofTen”?  Is it to let a potential date know immediately that you are just a dad looking for another mother?  I see so many profiles that start off with…..”Father of ten wonderful children, some still live at home, the others are off at a very expensive college, so I figured I could use a second income and some maid/chauffeur/cook services again, so I figured I’d give this online dating a shot.  My friends all tell me that I am still a real catch, even though I list brown hair on my profile and my pictures all show all white, or no hair.  Oh, and I know my profile says I’m in toned and athletic, so just overlook that beer belly, my New Year’s Resolution is to get back in shape (cue music:  Girl look at that body…I’m sexy and I know it).  Also I hope you love the pictures of me with my ex cut out, or leaning on my Vette or sitting on my Harley, or snuggling with my teacup poodle”  Wow.  I’m definitely winking at that guy!

Now before all you guys out there get your underpants in a bunch, I know that women lie too.  Everybody lies on Match.com.  If you don’t need to lie, then you probably have no reason to be on Match.com.  In my own travels over the years on dating sites, I have determined that most men who are divorced or never married are that way for a reason.  Everyone has a fatal flaw.  But when they get into the double digits……just sayin’.  I’ll stay single.  I’ve very happy being single.  My pets give me unconditional love, and don’t cheat, drink, belch, fart, swear, talk back, snore, etc.  Men have their uses and purpose in life, and there are a lot of VERY GOOD men out there (Hey SD!) and they are excluded from my generalizations here.  So for me, a friend with benefits is all I need, unless I run across someone who sweeps me off my feet, which will NOT be as easy task!

Let’s see, where was I……ok all you men out there looking for a hot date, come up with a better profile name for yourself that makes a woman want to actually click on you!

Advertisements

I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR! Redux

I am having a good time re-reading my old blogs, so here’s another blast from the past!

I am woman

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.

woman

I am WOMAN hear me roar!

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.