Johnny versus Jimmy

carson

fallon

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny Carson.                                                           Jimmy Fallon.

The Tonight Show.  The longest running talk show in television history.  It has been hosted by some pretty impressive people.  I want to talk about the two best, in my opinion.

Johnny Carson was a legendary icon in entertainment.  He was a very talented man, and loved to play characters and do magic tricks.  He revolutionized late night television, and entertained insomniacs and late night people for decades.  I remember my mother and father watching him every night before bed, even though they had to get up early for work.  Their day just couldn’t end without Johnny.  There were no DVR’s back then, you had to watch in real time, and all the commercials too, lol.

Many people do not know that Johnny was very shy and retiring in his personal life.  He did not like to socialize, and stayed out of the public eye.  Being in millions of people’s living rooms every night was more than enough for him.

Now onto Jimmy.  What can I say?  I think that Jimmy is one of the most talented people on the planet.  He can sing, he can dance, he is handsome, he is funny, he is mostly Irish, he has a beautiful wife, 2 adorable kiddies, he has a GOLDEN RETRIEVER…..he is my kind of guy!  And everybody else’s too, based on his ratings.

I loved him on SNL, he could NEVER keep a straight face, lol.  I loved him in Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore, I love him with Justin Timberlake doing their history of rap, and HashTags, I love him doing his spot-on imitations of Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen and other hit artists.  I love his skits.  I love his hosting (MTV, Emmys etc.)  I love everything about him.  Well, except for Ewwww.  Jimmy dressed as a teenage girl with braces is kinda scary.

I think the man has more talent in his little fingers than most people do in their entire careers.  He is the ultimate all-around entertainer.  (JT is another one like Jimmy).

Both Johnny and Jimmy were/are incredible on Late Night.  They were/are the best of their generation.  I have to give the nod to Jimmy though, in terms of overall talent.

Who is YOUR favorite?  Why?  I’d like to hear it!

 

 

 

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“Boy” bands

bsb

New Kids on the Block.  Backstreet Boys.  Boyz to Men.

I saw Jordan Knight (NKOTB)  and Nick Carter (BSB) on GMA last week.  They have formed a new group, call Nick & Knight.  They claim NOT to be a boy band, but judging from the sycronized dance moves and pop sound they were  lip synching singing, I beg to differ.

I loved the boy bands, back in the 80’s and 90’s.  Nsync was my favorite.  I loved their songs and dance moves, and did them with my little step-daughter and niece all the time.  I would embarrass myself on my pontoon boat in the Chain O Lakes singing and dancing with the all the kids.  (I especially loved doing The Macarena!  But shhhhhh…..)

I don’t expect any Nsync reunion, ever.  Justin Timberlake (or JT as I like to call him) has done just fine on his own, thank you very much.  The other guys have gone their own ways too.

But back to BOY bands, now performing as MEN.  I know that some of the best shows out there are older men reviving their younger days.  The Rolling Stones, U2, Queen…..all still VERY popular and selling out tours.  But they did not start out as BOY bands.  They started out as rock bands, and are still rock bands.  There is a difference.

Watching Nick & Knight doing their little dance steps and trying to look cool on the tiny GMA stage made me feel…..sorry for them.  If they want to be taken seriously, and not as another boy band revival, they should get their shit together and act like men and sing like men.  Men singing to little tweeners and making them scream just seems wrong on so many levels.

It’s ok for ME to still remember the crazy boy band days and sing and dance to them.  I am not doing it for fame or money.  I am doing it for fun.  And maybe they are too, and collecting a paycheck for it to boot!

But I’m sorry, it makes me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

 

So I’ll never be a Hip Hop dancer….

hip hop

I’ve got a bad hip. I’ve been blaming it on my bad back for almost a year now, but the reality is that I have a bad hip. Might have been aggravated by limping around with a bad back for so long, but whatever the reason, my hip is giving me a bad rap.

hip

I’ve been going to physical therapy, and they have pretty much confirmed my worst fears.  I have all the symptoms of needing a hip replacement.  Just waiting on an MRI to confirm that.

Really, I said.  Actually I said reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaallllllyyyyy.  I’m way too young for that.  Apparently I’m not.  Walking has been VERY painful for a while now.  Kept thinking I pulled a groin muscle, and I limped because of that.  Going grocery shopping has been brutal.  Not just traversing the store, but carrying all the heavy bags up the stairs in my house.

Yep, that’s right.  Stairs in my house.  I live in a raised ranch.  I HATE IT, always have, always will, but it is what it is.

My PT told me today that I should avoid going up the stairs, that it really aggravates my hip.  Ok, so I guess I’ll just hole up here for a while with no food and no laundry and no swimming classes and no PT.

I’m going to a wedding in a few weeks and was hoping to show off my hip hop moves, along with my new repertoire of The Shake and Gangham Style.  How I love my dancing!  I guess that won’t be happening.  I’ll have to stick to the slow stuff.  In my walker.

walkerNEVER!

DWTS – rumors vs. reality

Boy were my predictions off on who might be dancing this season!  Just goes to show you that the gossip rags are way off target!  Although I think my picks might have been a bit more spicy than the actual ones appearing!

I got the boxer guy right.  Oh, and Sean, The Bachelor.  Yes, I know he did NOT appear on GMA this morning with the rest of the cast.  He will be a surprise addition, with Peta as his pro partner.  They will probably announce him at The Bachelor, After the Final Rose show.  They can’t announce him now, he is still on the show, right? 😉  Trust me on this one.  I follow RealitySteve.com, and his spoilers about the Bachelor are always right on.  So DON’T go there if you don’t want to know who wins, lol.  It’s usually all spelled out before the season even starts.  He’s got good intel.  So good that ABC has been trying to shut him down for years with frivolous lawsuits.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to a new season of Prime Time Porn on DWTS!  It’s loaded up with the usual football/gymnast/boxing/soap opera/disney/singer stars!

More Prime Time Porn coming your way

dwtsGet ready for a brand new season!  Cast announcements coming up soon!  And boy oh boy, do we have some good ones for you!  Here is a sneak peek at some of the rumored contestants…..

lohan

Dina Lohan – yes, Lindsay’s “mother-of-the-year”.  Finally she’ll get her 15 minutes of fame!

mama june

Another mother-of-the-year – Mama June!  Honey Boo Boo was all booked up so Mama June is stepping in, ready to twirl her way to a banging body!

katie

Katie Holmes – maybe she is the REAL mother-of-the-year.  She is a true fan of dancing (so is Siri) so I would have high hopes for Joey!

KK

One more mother – we need another Kardashian, right?  Maybe Kourtney this time….

sean

The Virgin Bachelor Sean Lowe – YES PLEASE!  Someone else to compete with Max’s shirtless bod! (His popularity pushed Emily Maynard to end of the line).

deena

Deena Cortese – we all need some more Jersey Shore action!

jerry kidjerryJerry Supiran – a washed-up child actor from the eighties.   Supposedly flat broke and homeless – he blames a stripper.  Might be interesting…..

victor

Victor Ortiz – always gotta throw an athlete in there.  This one’s a boxer.

Interesting line-up, eh?  NOT.  We’ll see what happens come Feb 26th on GMA.

 

 

Primetime Porn

Welcome to your guide to disguising porn as a dance competition.  Can we say Dancing with the Stars?   I love it!  But I don’t really think that the young uns should be watching some of this stuff.  There are hips gyrating, breasts bouncing, rumpy pumpys, skimpy outfits, shirtless men, and plenty of spandex and tight pants!

These professional dancers have bodies that just don’t quit.  Gorgeous, beautiful, finely sculpted bodies.  And they show them off.  To the limit.  And the “stars”?  Some of them are just amazing.  Take Jack Wagner, who just got voted off (sorry Jack, better you than Gavin).  He is in his fifties and has abs of steel.  Great shape.  obviously the athletes are in great shape.  But an opera singer?  Wowser.  Even Sherri Shepherd, who hasn’t lost a pound yet btw, looks great.  She’s top-heavy, but has great legs, and her smile and attitude are just so contagious!  She’s not on the show to lose weight necessarily, she just is so grateful to be there, she has tried for years, and is finally living her dream!

Other shows are just/almost as bad.  So You Think You Can Dance, America’s Best Dance Crew etc.  But then again, look at Ballet.  Men in tights.  I was always embarrassed to even look at them!  It was just…..tooo in your face, for this good Catholic girl!

So enjoy your Prime Time Porn tonight on Dancing with the Stars, and be SURE to vote for my man Gavin!  Please.  How you resist that boyish grin?

The Sweetest of the Sweet

In case you don’t have a calendar, today is Sweetest Day.  This Hallmark Holiday never did seem to take off, not like Valentine’s Day.  Most men, and some women, do not celebrate it.  HOWEVER……back in the day….

One Sweetest Day in particular was extra sweet for me.  By extra sweet I mean Rated R, so those of you who need to, shut down this blog NOW! 

Where was I…..well, I was 21 years old, and just out of college, and STILL A VIRGIN.  Yes, that’s right, folks, I made it through college, AND IN A SORORITY, still a virgin.  Not for lack of offers, mind you.  My mother did a REALLY good job of screwing up my mind for life with all her pontifications on what happens to “bad” girls.  The nuns did their job too.  Back in my day, an unwed mother was a shame to be hidden away.   So every time the opportunity presented itself, I pictured myself pregnant and alone with no husband and no job and no family.  It worked.  (Maybe we need to practice it a little more nowadays!?)  Although how anybody can get pregnant by accident nowadays still mystifies me.  But I digress…..

It was October, and the love of my life at the time was Taylor Kelly.  I met Taylor at a dance club, and he was most gifted of all.  He could do a move on the dance floor!  Move over John Travolta!  Keep in mind, this was back in the days of DISCO DANCING!  Oh, what fun we had, I miss it!  Everybody danced!  My roommate from college, Fonzie, and I were popular dance partners.  So Taylor and I danced away more than a few nights, and pretty soon I was thinking it was time.  Time for you know what.

I planned my own seduction.  In my parent’s house.  In my bedroom.  In my childhood twin bed, that I still slept in. For Sweetest Day.  I wanted the day to be special.   Fonzie and I invited Taylor and his buddy to my house for a “party”, but when they got there, it was only a party of four.  Now, things get a little hazy here for me, because I needed a lot of liquid courage, but I do know that I went to bed that night with Taylor a virgin, and woke up the next morning with Taylor STILL a virgin.  How did it NOT happen, you say?  I still don’t know.  I think the liquor did its damage to Taylor too, and due to my total lack of experience, I was no help in the whole process, and the attempt just withered away, so to speak.  We never spoke of it afterwards.  We did try again a few weeks later, with the same results.  I was starting to wonder….what the heck was everybody making such a big deal about???

Luckily, (or not), shortly thereafter I met another man, and all attempts were a go.  We were married within six months.  After all, I was a good Catholic girl, and felt obligated.  I felt I could always say with pride that I married the first man I ever had sex with.

Sadly, we divorced ten years later.  I’m thinking the Catholic girl guilt played at least a small role, even after marriage.  But after my divorce, I decided I needed to make up for my lost youth.  But that is another blog for another day.

So, Happy Sweetest Day!  Still brings back fond memories…..

Dancing with the Enemy?

Dancing with the Stars premiered last night amongst great controversy.  Certain groups of people are upset that a transgender person is dancing.  They say it will give the wrong message to children.

Oh, you mean the message that you can wear almost nothing on prime time TV is ok though, as long as you are dancing?  As long as you aren’t “different”?  Trust me, children would not even KNOW that Chaz is transgender unless YOU tell them, and even then they probably won’t care.  And ABC doesn’t mind stirring the pot as long as it translates into ratings.  DWTS has had gays, old ladies with overflowing bosoms and truck driver language, controversial athletes, and many D lister stars who wear the skimpiest of costumes, let alone the professional dancers.  Throw in an Osmond or a Kardasian and you have a great season! 

Children are exposed to all kinds of things from an early age on.  Do you remember how horrified everyone was about Jon Bennet Ramsey in her little pagent costumes?  Nowadays, Toddlers and Tiaras are stuffing fake boobs and butts into their little stars who are barely out of diapers!   All in the name of fame…..

Reality TV is everywhere, and most of it ain’t pretty.  Housewives cussing and swearing and bitch slapping each other, Bachelors and Bachelorettes back stabbing and hooking up right and left, partners abusing each other as they race around the world (and they win awards for this!)…..the list goes on and on.  Even the commercials ain’t your father’s Buick!

I myself am of the age where Happy Days couldn’t play in Peoria, where I grew up.  Boy, things have certainly changed!  Do you think it is for the better?  I am curious to know.