Hot guy in a pick ’em up truck

pickup

So.  Something happened to me today.  I THINK it was a good thing.  Although in this day and age, who knows.  What happened?  Well it all started with a hot guy in a pickup truck….

After swim class this morning I ran into the Wal-Mart quick, with sweats on, wet hair and no makeup on. After unloading my groceries in my car in the rain I went to put the cart back across the aisle.  A man in a pickup waved me across, so I went.  He waited, and then he waved me back across the aisle again. Then he rolled down his window and said, “Excuse Ma’am, but are you married?”  I was stunned and didn’t know what to say, so I said yes I’m married. Then he said “Well he sure is a lucky man!”, and looked at me very appreciatively.  I stuttered out a thank you and got in my car.  I sat there for a few minutes, thinking the man must have been insane.  He was very good looking!  Was he blind? Not that I could tell.  His eyes were stunning, I think that’s why I was so tongue tied.  I love eyes.  And teeth.  Love good teeth.  He had dark hair and gold eyes and a big white smile, with all his teeth (hey, this is in the Wal-Mart parking lot!)

I shook my head, and then thought up all the witty things I should have said.  Things like, “Hang out here often?”  “Wanna get a burger at Blue Top?”  (The Culvers in front).  “What made you stop?  The wet hair rain drizzle look?”  “Did you like my hip action?  It’s my limp from my new hip replacement”.  Boy, I am one sexy momma out there!

Is this the new dating world?  Men in pickups checking out chicks in the Walmart parking lot?  It crossed my mind to go look for him and tell him, NO, I’m NOT married!  But then I thought, maybe he was a predator of some sort.  I mean, get real, from my description, why would a guy hit on me like that unless he wanted to tie me up and….gulp.  Ok, I’ve read too many books on that subject.  He wasn’t sparkly like a vampire (but it WAS raining), and he wasn’t all furry like a werewolf (but it was day time), and he didn’t look alien or like he had super powers.  He looked….normal.

So.  I’m just going to think of it as a compliment, and next time I go to the Wal-Mart, I’m going to style my hair and put some makeup on.  Who knows what can happen then?

What do you think?  Do you think he was normal, or something else?  I would love to hear your thoughts!

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Here’s your online hottie!

fatman

For all you online daters out there, here is the man behind the keyboard.

No, seriously.  I think online dating is great, been there done that myself.  However….until you really meet the person, you never know.

I am a pro at picking out the scammers.  There are so many tells.  The picture they stole from a modeling site.  The hair and eye color descriptions that are different from the picture.  The broken English.  Professing to have lost a loved one and therefore will treasure you and they needs your love so bad.  Love just oozing all over the screen.

Also, they never want to meet you.  They just want to adore you from afar, and message back and forth.

Oh, and at some point, they may ask you for money.  These are the foreign ones, that have lost all their money in Nigeria and need help getting home so they can marry you and worship at your altar.

Not all men on these dating sites are like this.  Some are perfectly normal.  Online dating is quite the acceptable way to meet a new partner in life.  I have met some very people online, and dated my share of them.  None of my Mikes though.  Right now I would say I’m pretty much single, and happy about it.  (Did you read my Mikes posts?  Here’s a link  http://wp.me/p1J9S2-sI

Sometimes I still get emails from the old dating sites I was on, most notably Match.com.  Sometimes I wonder how they matched me up with certain people.  Their attributes were certainly not in my search criteria.  But it makes for some fun surfing.  Do men really think that a picture of themselves in front of the bathroom mirror is going to garner them some dates?  And talk about grumpy old men.  Some haven’t’ cracked a smile in years.  And most are wearing flannel shirts or old T-shirts, depending on the season.  For crikey sake, comb your hair, put a decent shirt on, and smile at the damn camera!

Of course you do get the camera happy ones whose pictures are in front of their fancy cars or motorcycles.  This type usually has a lot of gold dripping from their necks and wrists.  It’s all on display, for your viewing pleasure.  I’m sure many women are adding it all up with $ signs in their eyes.

Right before the last Iraq war, I was attracted to a picture of an Army pilot standing in front of his helicopter with his crew. He lived in Tennessee, so I wasn’t planning on anything long distance, but I just wanted to say hello and thank you for protecting our country. That started up a two-year relationship, the first year only online while he was fighting in Iraq. We met when he came back home, on Valentine’s Day. It was very romantic 😉  He is the tall one in the middle 🙂

Dan

(I need to learn how to edit my picture scans, sorry!)
So, you just never know. But ladies, be careful out there, for you will never know what you will get until you met him in flesh and blood! Good luck!

Somebody loves me :-?

LoveMaybe
I just found out this morning that somebody loves me.  Actually I’ve suspected it for awhile.

But when I received the text that he was in love, I wasn’t sure exactly how to respond.  Panic?  Grateful?  Unsure?  Happy?

So I let it sit for a bit.  Then I responded that “my feelings have grown too”.  And they have.  But I’m just not sure that I want to start throwing that “L” word around.  That kind of word gets you into all kind of trouble.  Trouble that I paid for twice with failed marriages, that cost me a fortune in terms of emotions, feelings, and yes, money.

I am happy that somebody loves me.  I’m a hard person to love.  My family tells me that all the time, lol, and I’m sure that’s why I’m still single.  I’m too persnickety.  My sister says I have a circus mirror in my bedroom, and when I look in it, I still think I’m 21, with long hair and a hot bod.  Ummm, no I don’t, but I still think of myself as younger in my head.  Like when I picture myself, it’s not quite reality.  Oh well.

I’m not sure yet what I’m going to do about the new information.  I think I will let it percolate for a little while and see where it goes.  He’s not perfect, but God knows, neither am I.  Maybe we are a match made in Heaven!  Not sure, don’t know if I buy into that whole “God created one person for you” thing.  This world is too big for that.  I am too tired to search the globe!

One of my fellow bloggers just recently stirred up a real shit storm on his blog when he broke up with his girlfriend.  He puts most of his personal life into his blog, and has thousands of followers.  Including his girlfriend.  So she is privy to all his private thoughts and feelings about her and everything else in this world.  Not sure if that is a good thing.  Also, I’m not sure if MY person reads my blog.  He expressed interest in it, but I’ve never given him the website.  But I DID get him going on a smart phone, and I’m sure he could eventually find this.  I don’t know how I feel about that.  I kind of like being able to talk about “things” without repercussion of stepping on somebody’s toes or hurting their feelings etc.

Ah, the perils of being a blogger.  Thank goodness I am not a popular one!

That Man

grey man

I want to meet THAT man.  That man who narrows your universe down to just you and him.  Who makes you not care if you interact with another human being ever again.  Just him.  That man. He is enough.  Who is on your mind 24/7.  Who you can’t wait to see.  Who every second apart is pure agony, and every second together is pure delight.  That man.

That man who touches your heart and soul and makes them sing.  That man who eyes are the window to his soul, and yours.  That man who makes the hair on the back of your neck tingle.  And everywhere else too.  That man who makes you feel beautiful.  Every. single. day.  That man who never speaks a mean or harsh word to you.  Ever.  That man who only touches you with love and gentleness.  That man who massages your back without being asked.

That man you have been looking for all your life.  That man who maybe you HAVE already met, but it was not the time or place.  I can think of two that I though were that man, but they turned out to be NOT that man.

I think that man is out there.  I’m not sure where, or if I will ever find him.  So if you happen to find him before me, congrats.  There may be true love out there after all.

Stuck in the middle

middle

Middle child.  Middle of a project.  Middle of the bed.  Middle of the pack.

Sometimes it seems like I am always stuck in the middle.  Especially the middle of the pack thing.  I’m looking for someone like me.  Not too young, not too old.  You know, middle of the pack.

I have many friends of the male variety.  Just not the right one.

One is too old and set in his ways.  Old fashioned.  Stubborn as a mule.  But gentlemanly and always sending cards and presents.  Lives 4 hours away.

One is too young and still searching for what he wants out of life.  Also stubborn as a mule.  Gentlemanly in some ways, but not very thoughtful in many ways.  Lives 4 miles away.

Both I consider friends.  Each one offers something different in their friendship.  One comes with history and the possibility of a future.  One comes with deep conversation and sharing of souls and secrets and probably a lifelong friendship.

One is not better or worse than the other.  Each has different strengths and weaknesses.  But, that old saying, the grass is always greener on the other side?  Damn they’re right.  At least, that’s what the mind thinks.

The mind can never choose one or the other and be satisfied.  The mind always searches for something better.  The mind does not want to settle for less than the best.

Just what is the best?  A best friend?  A best mate?  Hopefully both in one person?

If I could meld the two together, I could have a life long mate, and a best friend.  I thought I had it before, but I lost it.  I am jealous of those that find it, and keep it and nurture it.  I keep thinking, I can find it, I can do it again.  Then I think, naw, too much trouble, too much heartache involved.

Person.  Not dog or cat.  Person.  That is the scary part.  The dogs and cats don’t leave you willingly.  A person can, and does.  That’s the heartache part.  Persons make it personal.  So many people say they would rather have loved and lost, then never have loved at all.  I’m not so sure about that.  I won’t even get another dog because the loss is too great and tears me apart.  I don’t think I could stand to lose another person.

But I have to try.  I have many friends, very good friends, but we all need someone to love us and protect us and grow old with us.  We need to be someone’s Numero Uno.  The person we think of first thing in the morning, and last thing at night.  The person who makes us a better person.  The person who makes you laugh, cry, and most of all, makes you happy.

Now where the hell did that blind guy go?

Dear Mr. Match.com Dad……. REDUX

Another re-post, as I’m still getting those “Please come back to Match.com emails”.  But why should I?

Once a man reaches a certain age, I think it normal for most people to assume that you have an offspring or two tucked away somewhere.  Most people will also assume that your children are the lights of your life, as it should be.  These men may be widowed or divorced, and may be very involved in their children’s lives, as it also should be.  But if you are fiftysomething, hopefully they are not toddlers, lol.  Usually they are teenagers or older.

So why do you feel it is necessary to court women on a dating site with a name like “SashasDad” or “FatherofTen”?  Is it to let a potential date know immediately that you are just a dad looking for another mother?  I see so many profiles that start off with…..”Father of ten wonderful children, some still live at home, the others are off at a very expensive college, so I figured I could use a second income and some maid/chauffeur/cook services again, so I figured I’d give this online dating a shot.  My friends all tell me that I am still a real catch, even though I list brown hair on my profile and my pictures all show all white, or no hair.  Oh, and I know my profile says I’m in toned and athletic, so just overlook that beer belly, my New Year’s Resolution is to get back in shape (cue music:  Girl look at that body…I’m sexy and I know it).  Also I hope you love the pictures of me with my ex cut out, or leaning on my Vette or sitting on my Harley, or snuggling with my teacup poodle”  Wow.  I’m definitely winking at that guy!

Now before all you guys out there get your underpants in a bunch, I know that women lie too.  Everybody lies on Match.com.  If you don’t need to lie, then you probably have no reason to be on Match.com.  In my own travels over the years on dating sites, I have determined that most men who are divorced or never married are that way for a reason.  Everyone has a fatal flaw.  But when they get into the double digits……just sayin’.  I’ll stay single.  I’ve very happy being single.  My pets give me unconditional love, and don’t cheat, drink, belch, fart, swear, talk back, snore, etc.  Men have their uses and purpose in life, and there are a lot of VERY GOOD men out there (Hey SD!) and they are excluded from my generalizations here.  So for me, a friend with benefits is all I need, unless I run across someone who sweeps me off my feet, which will NOT be as easy task!

Let’s see, where was I……ok all you men out there looking for a hot date, come up with a better profile name for yourself that makes a woman want to actually click on you!

I am WOMAN, hear me ROAR! Redux

I am having a good time re-reading my old blogs, so here’s another blast from the past!

I am woman

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.

woman

I am WOMAN hear me roar!

I am a Woman.  A SINGLE woman.  I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan.  With my eyes closed.  While texting.  And tweeting.  Simultaneously.

Some people have a problem with that.  They think I’m a big fat loser because I don’t have a man.  Like a woman’s worth is based on having a mate, or at least dating, or living with a man.

Why?  A large percentage of people I know that are married are MISERABLE, in a wide variety of ways.  They lie and cheat on their spouses. (No, don’t ask me about yours!  I’m speaking in generalities!)  When I got divorced, because of my lying cheating spouse, married men came out of the woodwork to “comfort” me now that I was newly single.  In fact they probably would have “comforted” me even while being married, except everyone around me knew how I felt about lying cheating spouses!  And you know that old adage that the wife is the last to know?  It’s true.  My spouse lied and cheated on me throughout the whole marriage.  In addition to a few other fabulous qualities like mental and physical abuse.  He was the perfect example of a brain on alcohol.

After all that, I truly have no desire to go through another experience like that again.  I am not a masochist.  I still do believe in love, and soul mates and all that other crap.  But I am truly careful now.  People around me say I am being too picky and that I will end up alone as the neighborhood cat lady.  Well, let me see…..that’s ok by me.  Que sera sera.  At least I will be the master of my own domain.

Is there another man out for me?  I truly don’t know.  I have a serious aversion to smoking, drinking, belligerence, bullying, meanness, and overall disrespect.  So that really narrows down the playing field.  And I’ve tried the friends with benefits route.  Not for me, thanks.

I can wait.  No hurry.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, I’m still my own woman.  I’m happy being the cat lady for now.  At least I have rescued two little souls who love me unconditionally.

Bachelor Ben, AKA Storm Horse

Let me preface by saying that I am jaded and prejudiced, especially because I read Reality Steve and know the unfolding of the whole season from First Impression Rose to Final Rose, but I ask you, is Bachelor Ben the WORST bachelor EVER???  This is the best ABC could do?  Really?

From his funky greasy lanky Geico caveman hair

to his bumbling conversation to his obvious leering and mealy mouth kissing skills, Ben Flajnik is NOT all that and a bag of chips.  In fact, many people were surprised he even made it to the top two in Ashley’s season, because of his hot bromance with Constantine, whom he was rarely seen without.

Truly, the Bachelor is nothing more than a competition among shameless fame whores (ala Vienna)  to come out a winner and get publicity.  The pretty, sweet girls all get sent home right away, and then the producers stage all kinds of drama with their edits of the “crazy” chick, “jealous” chick, “trash talking” chick etc.  You CAN make this shit up, lol.

Ben has done the whole talk show route, from Ellen to Jimmy Kimmel.  Ellen chastised Ben for keeping Courtney around because she is such a mean girl, and Jimmy Kimmel must read Reality Steve too because he listed the Final Four, AND picked the winner, before it was televised.  It was all Ben could do to keep a straight face.  In fact, most of the time, Ben DOESN’T keep a straight face.  He’s a snickerer.  Don’t cha just hate a snickerer????

Of course, if you don’t like Ben’s appearance in the Bachelor, perhaps you will prefer him as “Storm Horse” in his Cream Dreams porno video, where he tries to imitate JT and Andy Samberg’s SNL Dick in a Box.  Epic fail.  Check out YouTube if you want.  Ewwwww.

How did the Storm Horse end up on The Bachelor?  My God, don’t these producers know how to use Google?  Hmmm, maybe they do….

Full Steam Ahead!

Well I didn’t have to wait long to make a decision thank goodness, as we all know that patience is not my virtue.  After a fairly long phone call this morning, several things came to light.

First, he thought I said I had a boyfriend.  So he was confused on why I wanted to go away for the weekend with him.  Second, after we cleared that up, he said that it was a GREAT idea.  Third, the reason why he hasn’t set a date for date yet is because his buddies from California are coming into town tonight for a softball reunion and staying through the weekend.  Fourth, he figured Valentine’s Day would be good “first” date again. (An actual DATE on Valentine’s Day????  Be still my heart!)

But then the other shoe dropped.  Doesn’t it always?  But not necessarily in a bad way.  But kinda.  A couple of years ago he was playing in a softball tournament in Iowa.  It was his third time up to bat.  And he dropped dead on the field.  Took 20 minutes for EMT’s to arrive.  In the meantime some of the guys were doing CPR, but thought he was dead.  EMT’s shocked him when they arrive, and got a pulse, so loaded him up in the ambulance.  Once again they lost him.  Got him back at the hospital.  He was in a coma for 5 days.  When they called his mom and son initially, they told them not to hurry, as he would probably be dead by the time they drove there from Illinois.  They did an angiogram and angioplasty and put in a stent as his major artery was 100% blocked.  Somehow his heart had made a path around it.  He was in the hospital for a couple of weeks.  Docs said the only reason he lived probably was because he was an athlete.  The only cause for future concern is that the concrete blockage at the base of the blocked artery might someday come loose…..

Silence.  Complete silence.  From my end of the phone.  Then all the questions came tumbling out.  Are you ok?  Will you die soon?  Did you have any symptoms?  Do you remember anything?  Are you in daily danger?   Etc. etc. etc.  I was just so shocked.

He asked me if he scared me away, said he was fine, better than ever, back playing softball the following season.  I was relieved to hear all that.  I said “what a pair we will make, me with a bad back, and you with a bad ticker.  Guess sex is out of the question”.   Then it was his turn to laugh.

But seriously.  In my mind I picture him having a grabber right at the wrong time.  Oh my.  But I guess it could happen to anyone, at any time.  We are not spring chickens anymore.  Years ago, my friend’s husband blew a brain aneurism during sex.  He lived.  But oh my.  Kid gloves.  That’s what I’m thinking.

Hey, I am no prize.  I have a lot of missing or non-functional body parts.  He only has one.  Granted, an important one, but it sounds like he is taking good care of himself.  So after digesting things for a while, I texted him a new picture of myself and said “here I am as I look today, if you still want me you can have me”.  A few minutes later, a new text message arrived, with a new picture of him, and it said “I’m all yours”.

I’m speechless.