Silent Support

support

I cannot begin to tell you all how many people have come up to me recently telling me how wonderful I look, how they have been following my journey on Facebook and my blog, and how much my courage in the face of adversity has impacted them.  They love my Positive Thoughts for the Day and say I am an inspiration.
Who, me?  Wow.  Well.  I do know that I had great positive relationships with all my nurses and therapists in the hospital, rehab, and home health care.  And my doctor just shakes his head time and time again and asks how I can keep smiling through all these ups and downs (most downs).  I guess having a chronic incurable disease (Crohn’s) has prepared me for the worst case scenarios in the past, and that is why I wasn’t too surprised to have all these issues and extra surgeries and PICC lines and infections and meds etc. with this hip replacement.  Been there, done that, alone most of the time.  This time I had the support of my family and friends, so many visitors, cards, phone calls etc., which really made the difference.  I would not have made it without them. Especially my little 3-year-old niece, who loved all the blood and guts aspect, and kept me laughing through it all.

Sometimes you don’t realize the impact you have on people, positive or negative.  That’s why I always try to have a smile on my face, and be friendly and courteous to people.  It just might make their day a little brighter.  So thank you, everyone, for your support, silent or otherwise.  It encourages me to keep on going, knowing that you are reading and rooting for me.  And it really makes my day when one of you comes up and hugs me and tells me that!

I am SO blessed….

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2013 is on!

goals

This is it.  Now or never.  New goals are written.  Plans are in place.  January is booking up.

Went to the doctor last week, with a difference.  I have health insurance now, first time in 4 years.  Many things have been neglected, now is the time to catch up.  Blood work was drawn.  Medications tweaked.  Many are gone now.  I spent most of last year weaning myself off what I thought was unecessary.  Did find out my thyroid is totally wacked out, and needed a huge dose adjustment for that.  Done.  Mammogram appointment needed.  Done.  Diet overhaul needed.  Done.  Joined Weight Watchers 360.  Crohn’s doctor appointment scheduled.  Will schedule colonoscopy.  Will look into new injectable biological meds to help both Crohn’s and Crohn’s related arthritis, which is crippling my body right now.  Join YMCA for swimming classes.  Done.  Still need to schedule skin cancer screening with oncologist, have missed 3 annual appointments, not good for someone with a history of malignant melanoma.  Naughty girl am I.  Still need to fix my damn back/leg.  Appointment calls are in.

Next up, grow my home business.  Tax season is upon us, that will help.  Design new business cards.  Check.

Most of all, write.  And write more.  And more.  Grow the book.  And keep reading the good books from the good book list.

It feels good to have a plan.  Gonna catch that tiger by the tail and shake it!

Tiger-by-the-tail

Hey man, I see colored lights!

It seems I’m spending the weekend in the hospital.  Not anybody’s favorite place I’m sure.  But sadly I’m beginning to like it!

Long story short, I hurt my back last spring and been dealing with it ever since in a revolving door of doctors and physical therapy and pills etc.  The past few weeks have been excruciating painful and I’ve been barely able to walk.  Been using my mom’s cane, and look like an old lady.  Actually I think it might have been my grandma’s cane.  And I AM an old lady.  An old crippled lady now.

I finally gave up the ghost early this morning and drove to the ER.  I limped in with my cane and my rolling suitcase, filled with medical records, pills, clean PJ’s and undies, laptop, smartphone and Nook Color.  The nurse who took me back raised her eyebrow at me and said “I see you brought your suitcase?  You planning on staying long?”  I told her in reply that I live alone and am always prepared for everything, and then whipped my suitcase open and handed her a neatly typed document with all my prescriptions, doctor’s, medical history, and insurance information.  Within a half hour the doctor said they were going to admit me, and she gave me a wink and said “good thing you brought that suitcase”.   Then she shot me up with Dilaudin and Tramadol, and I wanted to kiss her.  First time I have been almost pain free in almost a year, and excruciating pain for a month.

I was in the ER for about 4 hours while the docs came and went and was waiting on a room.  I dozed off and on and when I woke up the winky nurse was always there with more pain meds to shoot into my IV.  Then they came and got me to take me to my room, and said how lucky I was that I got a room in the new wing that they called “The Hilton Towers”.  Wow.  Even in my drug-induced haze I could see what a lucky girl I was.  Air bed, full size couch, lounge chair, three huge windows overlooking a park, bathroom with fold away mirrors and blow dryers and open shower big enough for a party.  Oh, and don’t let me forget the flat screen TV.  Digital clock built into a wall panel.  Programmable thermostat.  Tray table with laptop holder and multiple levels of drink holders etc.  Sink with dispensers and full medical supply cabinet in main room.  I could go on and on.

They got me all settled in and more shots, this time of morphine.  Whatever.  Took a nice nap.  Family came to visit.  Ordered dinner off a menu.  Ate.  More shots.  Nice nap.  But best of all???????  No pain.  Ok, a little pain still.  But seriously?  No pain.  I can’t remember a time when I felt no pain.

I still can’t get up without assistance and I’m certainly not running through the halls.  Another MRI is schedule for either tonight or tomorrow.  Then hopefully another spinal injection, or straight to surgery to rid myself of these pesky herniated disks.  I am bound and determined to get better before I go home!

I miss my little Ozzy, but he is being well taken care of by family.  So I am going to lay back and enjoy my little legal drug buzz, and watch the psychedelic colored lights playing behind my eyelids for a few days!