My Tribute to Reckless Ryan

MT
Dear Reckless Ryan MTfosho, beloved son, brother, father and fiancee,

You’re gone. Gone too young. Gone too soon. Damn. From what I have seen this week, with the swelling number of cars every night at Boots, many people are missing you. I know your parents, brother, Shannon, and your buddies are gonna miss you like crazy in this life. But I believe there is a heaven, and I bet you have started your own Monkey Tactics club up there in Paradise, and are riding to your hearts content. You can be as reckless as you want up there. Think of the stunts you can pull off! No limits, dude.

I remember hearing something about heaven once, that the little children grow older, and the older folks become young again. In their prime. Like around 25 years old. You won’t have to change a bit to fit in.

But now the reality. I can’t say that I know you as well as I wished I did right now.   I do know that the past few years our two families have come together to love our precious Brianna.  I think, in all honesty, that she is the best thing that has ever happened to all of us.

You and Shannon have had your ups and downs, but have loved each other for the past 10 years.  That’s a long time.  I think becoming engaged and living like a family on sleepover nights etc. made you and Shannon better parents, and better people as a result.  The love you had for each other and for Brianna showed through in so many ways.  I loved going to Bri’s birthday parties the past few years at Boots, it was always so fun.  She loved the blow-up houses so much, and got so much attention from everyone.  It was so apparent how much your family and all the Boots people  loved Bri, and it made my heart feel so good.

Shannon loved you so much, and as you guys got older, I really enjoyed the few times we got to hang out together and have a drink and a few laughs.  I know you loved your girls.  You and I had a long talk about that one night at Captains, and I felt I got to really know your true feelings then.  I was glad we had that talk.  Wish we could have a few more.

Your mom and dad have been the best grandparents.  They love Bri so much, and Bri loves her Nana and Papa so very much.  I can see it with my own eyes, every time I go to Boots.  We brought her to Boots a couple of Sundays ago for breakfast, and she had a pancake and lots of loving from everyone there.  I’m sure we will continue our tradition of Sunday morning breakfast there, it’s a real treat for all of us.  Your family and everyone there treats us so well.

You are the second person that Bri has lost in the past 9 months.  Important people.  People she loved and saw almost every day.  Her mommy’s Papa, and now you, her daddy.  Bri is so smart.  So strong.  She talks to Papa’s star every night.  Now she will talk to your star, too.  We will all keep your memory alive, up in the heavenly skies.

Your job now is keep your star bright, and wink at her every night.  Bring her peace and comfort, if you can.  Little children are so much more open to spirits, and I hope she can feel wrapped in the light of your love, and know it is her Daddy.  She said some amazing things to our family after Papa died, and I just know that he was talking to her in some way.  So it gives me hope that you can talk to her too, and give her comfort.  And, in turn, she will give comfort to Shannon and your family.  She is wise beyond her years.

I know Shannon will stay just as close to your family, and Bri will grow up knowing how much her Daddy loved her.  Nana and Papa and Uncle Jimi will keep you alive.  Crikey, all we have to do is look at her little face, and we can see you!  I loved seeing all of your pictures when you were little, and seeing your features on Bri.  She took the best from both you and Shannon and is a beautiful, smart, funny, and brave little girl. She is fearless. I wonder where she got that from 😉

Our time here on earth is just a blink of the eye, compared to eternity.  One day you will be reunited with all your loved ones, and then the real party starts.  For eternity.

Stay Forever Young, Aunt Janet

Dear Rainbow Bridge

It must be getting crowded on your side.  Several of my friends and bloggers have recently lost their pets.  I have contributed more than my fair share.

I love the idea of the Rainbow Bridge.  For those of you who are not familiar with it, it is a story that goes like this:

RB_Poem_Gate

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…. 

Author unknown..

I just KNOW the Rainbow Bridge is real.  I just KNOW that God will reunite us with our beloved pets.  I cannot wait to see them.  Laddie, Scuffy, Mimi, Cali, UPer, Baby Kitty, Savanah, Maggie, Mollie, Maddie, Simon, and eventually Ozzy and Izzy.  I can picture myself, young and strong and beautiful again, running across the bridge, and being covered by all my loves, and playing in a beautiful green meadow covered in flowers.

That would just make my idea of heaven complete.

Old as dirt

It’s official.  Today is my birthday, and I’m old as dirt.  Some days I feel like dirt too, lol.  But I have this magic mirror at home and when I look into it I am still 25, or 30.  No lines, bags, wrinkles, or fat.  I see long, luxurious golden brown hair, bright green eyes, a light dusting of freckles over my fair, creamy skin, twinkling teeth, and a perfect figure

But then I put my glasses on, and run screaming from the room.  The ravages of time have not been kind to me.  I suppose I could look worse, but I could sure look better.  If I won $10,000 in the Lotto I would run to the nearest plastic surgeon and tell him to take off 20 years!  Hmmm, maybe I would need $20,000. 

I wish I could say at least I still have my health, but I would laugh so hard I would prolly pee my pants a little.  I alone inherited ALL the bad genes in my family.  My sister and brother were left unscathed.  Lucky ones.  I seriously could be a doctor, I know more than some I’ve seen.  I’ve spent plenty of time in the hospital and do my research. 

And here it is at 2 a.m., still wide awake and unable to sleep, even after a Lunesta.  But I can’t really blame my insomnia on old age, it’s been with me always.  Lucky me.  I’m a binge sleeper.  Some times I sleep like a log, other times I go for days with barely a few hours.

I will miss my mom calling me on my birthday.  When she had Alzheimer’s, I would call her instead, and say “Thank you for having me”.  So, to my mom and dad up in heaven I would like to say “Thank you both for having me, and have a toast for me!  I miss you both, and love you, and will be with you one day.  I know you are taking care of my girls for me, and I yearn to see you all!”

Feel free to wish me a Happy Birthday.  I promise to put my glasses to read them!  It’s supposed to be a beautiful day today!

10,000 minutes

Countdown to Nov.18th:  7 days.  1 week.  10,000 minutes.  Now, I am NOT a Twilight fanatic, but Breaking Dawn WAS the best book of the series, and I am indeed anxious to see the movie.  I am indeed also disappointed that it will be in two installments.  Another long wait. (Hopefully the Hunger Games will fill that gap!)

I don’t know what it is about vampires that suck me in.  Modern day vamps.  Not olden day vamps.  Modern day ones that sparkle instead of burning up in the daylight, don’t sleep in coffins, and are beautiful beyond compare.

Maybe it’s because they don’t have to care about the usual mundane things in life anymore.  Everything is exciting. They have few physical limitations.   They have all the time in the world.  But think about that for a second…..all the time in the world.  What in the world is exciting after 100 years?  300 years?  Doesn’t it get…..repetitive?

So it makes me wonder about forever.  Eternity.  I cannot fathom it.  As a Catholic, I hope when I die I go to Heaven for eternity.  But I cannot look in the future that far.  As humans we measure our time here.  We know that eventually it runs out.  We are not sure when, so maybe it adds an edge to our every day living.  When we have eternity, time will have no meaning.  We just are happy and joyful all the time.  We have nothing to look forward to.  No sense of anticipation.  In our human life, anticipation is half the fun.  When the event is over, we feel a letdown.  So no peaks and valleys I guess.  Just happy all the time.

I don’t think I REALLY want to be a vampire.  After all, look how many times the Cullens had to go to high school.  It must get boring at some point.  Especially if they never sleep.  Naps are my most favorite thing in the world.  I don’t think I would want to live in a world without naps.  Unless I had a Cullen of my own.