There are advantages…..

My blogger friend Jenni got me thinking on this subject.  Another douche bag man…she’s thinking of getting a kitten instead.

Worked for me. I don’t need no stinkin’ man I got me a baby kitty…..Ozzy.  Let’s see, what are the advantages?  Snuggles on my neck every night, doesn’t go out “catting” around, always happy to see me, and never leaves the toilet seat up for starters.  Clean as a whistle, doesn’t leave dirty clothes hanging everywhere, doesn’t take up much room in the bed.   Doesn’t have any bad habits, like smoking, drinking, or doing drugs.  Likes reality TV shows and Animal Planet.  Gives you hugs and kisses whenever you want.

Any disadvantages?  Sure, as in any relationship, you have to take the bad with the good.  Ozzy expects food and water in his bowl at regular intervals, and expects me to clean his waste every day.  Also uses me as a springboard for his nightly gymnastics.  Chews up all my strings that dangle.  Occasionally has bad breath.  Gets a little carried away with smurf bites.  Tongues a little raspy on the face.  Likes to try and trip me.  And, yes, he is an animal, not a real man, who does have an occasional use.  There are obviously a few men out there who could trump my cat, but they are just delusions illusions of reality for me, lol.

But overall?  For unconditional love?  Please, no contest.  A cuddly kitten or puppy will win every time.

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Killer Kitten

My lovable little baby kitty is growing up.  He is now an adolescent.  He doesn’t play with babies or mommies any more.  His idea of playing now is running hot laps in the bedroom over my body.  A 7 pound cat can HURT when running full blast and using you as a launch pad.  Last night he ran a lap and used my freshly peeled face as a trampoline to spring off the bed.  Can we say intense pain!  No amount of cursing or throwing objects will stop him.   Then he lies on top of my dressing table, and just stares at me.  For a long time.  Until I begin to feel like prey…..  Then all of a sudden the switch turns off, and he leaps to the bed with his usual little squeak, and cuddles up in my neck, purring a mile a minute.  NOW he wants affection, and then sleep.  But only when HE is ready.

Now, while I am truly amazed at the “air” he can get and the speed he can run, graceful he is not.  Something is always crashing to the floor.  Usually something breakable.  This morning when I was doing my post-peel facial cleansing/moisturizing/sunblocking, he took a mad dash across the double sinks and sent all my ceramic Easter decorations AND my coffee cup crashing to the floor.  BAD momma, for placing those delicate items in his way!  I should have know better.  But at the time I thought he was content playing with the water in the toilet.

I keep his litter box in the bathroom, as he likes to join me in all my activities.  It has a hood on it so he can have privacy if he wants.  Momma gets no privacy,  When Ozzy is done in his box, he leaps out and then tangles himself in momma’s pant legs.  After boxing with him trying to pull my pants up, I then go clean his box.  Because of my bad back, I can’t hardly bend over.  So I take it by the handle on top of the hood, and place it on top of my laundry bin.  While I am scooping his litter, he ALWAYS jumps into his box from the floor and frantically starts scratching, and then pees, right where I am trying to scoop.  He is marking his territory.  Which is fine, but now I have a cat in a litter box wobbling off the laundry bin while I’m trying to balance everything until he jumps out and then scatters litter everywhere.  Sigh.  Luckily I keep a cordless stick vac in the bathroom, just for kitty litter, lol.

Another odd thing I am noticing.  If he is not laying in his grass on his playground in the bay window, he lies on the carpet on the floor.  Like in the middle of the hallway.  I find that strange.  Most cats prefer a nice soft perch.  I think he does it because he knows I cannot bend down and pick him up, so he is left alone.  He doesn’t like his momma cuddling him anymore.  😦

I think he might be mad at me.  He isn’t the same since I cut off his balls and yanked his front claws.  Now I know I am being melodramatic when I say it that way, but hey, from Ozzy’s perspective, that’s basically what I did.  Then I left him and went to the hospital for four days.  Maybe he was traumatized over that.  I don’t know.

I want a kitty playground!

The ultimate kitty playground.  Everything a kitten could ever want or need.  Let’s review:

First up, the Massage Center.  The ultimate day spa adventure!  If your mama doesn’t pet you enough, you can get your fix here!

Then, the Scratch Pad, soft enough even for declawed paws.  A mani/pedi for kitty paws.

Followed by the Grass Garden.  A mix of wheat and oat greens designed especially for kitty tummies to help aid in digestion, served in an attractive bowl.

And who can resist the Food Maze?  Don’t we all love to play with our food!  Eat and exercise at the same time!

Finally, to wrap everything up, the Play Circuit and the Speed circuit!  Need to work off all that food with an exercise buddy, before nap time.

 

 

 

 

Ok, so now where is mama’s day spa playground!

 

 

Photos courtesy of Catit Design Senses Bundle

Right Between the Eyes

My little kitten Ozzy is growing up to be quite the lil’ man.  He flies through the house like a cat on fire.  He leaps, he bounds, he jumps, he rolls.  And that is before he gets all riled up.  You know.  When a cat gets a wild hair up his butt and pins his ears back and goes on mission.  Not sure what the mission is, he just needs to do it NOW.

I am not a cat rookie.  Had cats most of my life.  I have a sneaking suspicion that my first cat Callie has returned in the body of Ozzy.  She was a holy terror too.  Ozzy is non-stop until he crawls up my body to my shoulder area and plops down into a purring sleepy kitten ball, kissing my nose and patting my face.

After all these years with cats, I think I can read their minds fairly well.  With Ozzy, it’s all about how much he can get away with before Mama stops him with a loud resounding NO, or a squirt from the water bottle.  Ozzy favorite spot is the kitchen island counter top.  Mama doesn’t want kittens on countertops.  So we play the same game every day, over and over.

Ozzy:  I think I’ll jump up on the kitchen stool and then onto the island top to see what’s new up there.

Mama:  Where’s that dang cat, I bet he is on the countertop.

Ozzy:  Oh no, here comes my Mama, quick, hide behind the flower vase!

Mama:  You silly lil’ man, Mama can see you.

Ozzy:  Uh oh, I forgot to close my eyes!  If I close my eyes she can’t see me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mama:  Ozzy, I still seeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.  Now get down!

Ozzy:   Ok, I’m gonna make a break for it and scamper really fast, past the glass dish and salt and pepper shakers and hide behind her purse.  Dang it, why can’t she get a bigger purse?

Mama:  Alrighty then….SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  I better high-tail it back to the stool!  If I crouch down, then she can’t see me!

Mama:  Ozzy, I see your ears.

Ozzy:  Ok, I’m gonna just take a quick peek

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mama:  SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  Oh man!  Right between the eyes!  Ok, I just wait a second and try again….

Mama:  SQUIRT!

Ozzy:  Right between the eyes again!  She’s a good shot.  I better try later.  Much later.  Yawnnnnn and stretchhhhhhhhhh.  Time to go back to the bay window and lounge in the sun.  I need a cat nap.

Mama:  That silly kitty.  He’ll never learn, lol.

Ozzy:   Pssst!  Don’t tell Mama I’ve prolly used up several of my lives already playing kamikaze jumping off the railing and down the stairs!

Smitten with a Kitten

Simon the Siamese Scaredy Cat died late Friday night from a heart defect.  He was a young cat.  Once again my heart was broken, and I made a total fool of myself being emotional and crying buckets of tears.  Again.  I railed at God and wondered why all my animals had to die.  This year.  Three of them.  And if anybody EVER says to me again “it’s only an animal” I will drop them where they stand.  (FYI nobody ever said that to me about Simon.  It was about my dog.  And he was nobody I will ever see again.  He was NEVER a friend).

My sister wanted to run out and get me a new kitten, but I couldn’t imagine any other cat than Simon.  He was the perfect cat for me, and I loved him so much. But God had different plans for me.

As I was leaving my house Sunday afternoon, I saw my neighbors outside.  They had asked me a few weeks back if I wanted another cat, as the wife had taken one home that was found at her work.  At the time I said no.  But something yesterday made me swing into their driveway and inquire about the kitten.  They said their other animals were getting along with it a little better.  I went on my way, not sure if I was relieved or disappointed.

Later than evening, I got a phone call from them.  They said “Come get your new son!”  I went over in my PJ’s to meet the kitten.  What a handsome little guy!  He was bouncing all over the place and was full of piss and vinegar.  But my heart melted.  I took him home for a trial run.

He spent a good hour exploring my house, and sniffing around for that “other” cat smell.  Then he climbed up my legs into my lap with his little sharp kitten claws and then curled up in neck/shoulder and promptly started to purr, before he nodded off.

Later we went to bed.  He snuggled right up against me.  He was so tiny I was afraid of rolling over and crushing him, but we made it through the night without incident.  I did hear him thrashing around with kitty toys a few times during the night, but in the morning he was sound asleep in my neck.  (Note to self:  remove all kitty toys from bedroom)

I am totally smitten.  I named him Ozzie.  Isn’t that a cute name?