Here’s your online hottie!

fatman

For all you online daters out there, here is the man behind the keyboard.

No, seriously.  I think online dating is great, been there done that myself.  However….until you really meet the person, you never know.

I am a pro at picking out the scammers.  There are so many tells.  The picture they stole from a modeling site.  The hair and eye color descriptions that are different from the picture.  The broken English.  Professing to have lost a loved one and therefore will treasure you and they needs your love so bad.  Love just oozing all over the screen.

Also, they never want to meet you.  They just want to adore you from afar, and message back and forth.

Oh, and at some point, they may ask you for money.  These are the foreign ones, that have lost all their money in Nigeria and need help getting home so they can marry you and worship at your altar.

Not all men on these dating sites are like this.  Some are perfectly normal.  Online dating is quite the acceptable way to meet a new partner in life.  I have met some very people online, and dated my share of them.  None of my Mikes though.  Right now I would say I’m pretty much single, and happy about it.  (Did you read my Mikes posts?  Here’s a link  http://wp.me/p1J9S2-sI

Sometimes I still get emails from the old dating sites I was on, most notably Match.com.  Sometimes I wonder how they matched me up with certain people.  Their attributes were certainly not in my search criteria.  But it makes for some fun surfing.  Do men really think that a picture of themselves in front of the bathroom mirror is going to garner them some dates?  And talk about grumpy old men.  Some haven’t’ cracked a smile in years.  And most are wearing flannel shirts or old T-shirts, depending on the season.  For crikey sake, comb your hair, put a decent shirt on, and smile at the damn camera!

Of course you do get the camera happy ones whose pictures are in front of their fancy cars or motorcycles.  This type usually has a lot of gold dripping from their necks and wrists.  It’s all on display, for your viewing pleasure.  I’m sure many women are adding it all up with $ signs in their eyes.

Right before the last Iraq war, I was attracted to a picture of an Army pilot standing in front of his helicopter with his crew. He lived in Tennessee, so I wasn’t planning on anything long distance, but I just wanted to say hello and thank you for protecting our country. That started up a two-year relationship, the first year only online while he was fighting in Iraq. We met when he came back home, on Valentine’s Day. It was very romantic 😉  He is the tall one in the middle 🙂

Dan

(I need to learn how to edit my picture scans, sorry!)
So, you just never know. But ladies, be careful out there, for you will never know what you will get until you met him in flesh and blood! Good luck!

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Dear Mr. Match.com Dad……. REDUX

Another re-post, as I’m still getting those “Please come back to Match.com emails”.  But why should I?

Once a man reaches a certain age, I think it normal for most people to assume that you have an offspring or two tucked away somewhere.  Most people will also assume that your children are the lights of your life, as it should be.  These men may be widowed or divorced, and may be very involved in their children’s lives, as it also should be.  But if you are fiftysomething, hopefully they are not toddlers, lol.  Usually they are teenagers or older.

So why do you feel it is necessary to court women on a dating site with a name like “SashasDad” or “FatherofTen”?  Is it to let a potential date know immediately that you are just a dad looking for another mother?  I see so many profiles that start off with…..”Father of ten wonderful children, some still live at home, the others are off at a very expensive college, so I figured I could use a second income and some maid/chauffeur/cook services again, so I figured I’d give this online dating a shot.  My friends all tell me that I am still a real catch, even though I list brown hair on my profile and my pictures all show all white, or no hair.  Oh, and I know my profile says I’m in toned and athletic, so just overlook that beer belly, my New Year’s Resolution is to get back in shape (cue music:  Girl look at that body…I’m sexy and I know it).  Also I hope you love the pictures of me with my ex cut out, or leaning on my Vette or sitting on my Harley, or snuggling with my teacup poodle”  Wow.  I’m definitely winking at that guy!

Now before all you guys out there get your underpants in a bunch, I know that women lie too.  Everybody lies on Match.com.  If you don’t need to lie, then you probably have no reason to be on Match.com.  In my own travels over the years on dating sites, I have determined that most men who are divorced or never married are that way for a reason.  Everyone has a fatal flaw.  But when they get into the double digits……just sayin’.  I’ll stay single.  I’ve very happy being single.  My pets give me unconditional love, and don’t cheat, drink, belch, fart, swear, talk back, snore, etc.  Men have their uses and purpose in life, and there are a lot of VERY GOOD men out there (Hey SD!) and they are excluded from my generalizations here.  So for me, a friend with benefits is all I need, unless I run across someone who sweeps me off my feet, which will NOT be as easy task!

Let’s see, where was I……ok all you men out there looking for a hot date, come up with a better profile name for yourself that makes a woman want to actually click on you!

Dear Mr. Match.com dad…

Once a man reaches a certain age, I think it normal for most people to assume that you have an offspring or two tucked away somewhere.  Most people will also assume that your children are the lights of your life, as it should be.  These men may be widowed or divorced, and may be very involved in their children’s lives, as it also should be.  But if you are fiftysomething, hopefully they are not toddlers, lol.  Usually they are teenagers or older.

So why do you feel it is necessary to court women on a dating site with a name like “SashasDad” or “FatherofTen”?  Is it to let a potential date know immediately that you are just a dad looking for a another mother?  I see so many profiles that start off with…..”Father of ten wonderful children, some still live at home, the others are off at a very expensive college, so I figured I could use a second income and some maid/chauffeur/cook services again, so I figured I’d give this online dating a shot.  My friends all tell me that I am still a real catch, even though I list brown hair on my profile and my pictures all show all white, or no hair.  Oh, and I know my profile says I’m in toned and athletic, so just overlook that beer belly, my New Year’s Resolution is to get back in shape (cue music:  Girl look at that body…I’m sexy and I know it).  Also I hope you love the pictures of me with my ex cut out, or leaning on my Vette or sitting on my Harley, or snuggling with my teacup poodle”  Wow.  I’m definitely winking at that guy!

Now before all you guys out there get your underpants in a bunch, I know that women lie too.  Everybody lies on Match.com.  If you don’t need to lie, then you probably have no reason to be on Match.com.  In my own travels over the years on dating sites, I have determined that most men who are divorced or never married are that way for a reason.  Everyone has a fatal flaw.  But when they get into the double digits……just sayin’.  I’ll stay single.  I’ve very happy being single.  My pets give me unconditional love, and don’t cheat, drink, belch, fart, swear, talk back, snore, etc.  Men have their uses and purpose in life, and there are a lot of VERY GOOD men out there (Hey SD!) and they are excluded from my generalizations here.  So for me, a friend with benefits is all I need, unless I run across someone who sweeps me off my feet, which will NOT be as easy task!

Let’s see, where was I……ok all you men out there looking for a hot date, come up with a better profile name for yourself that makes a woman want to actually click on you!